My Health Anxiety is unbearable :(

[smokvica]

Hi all,

This is my first post, I finally decided to sign up because I just don't think I can stand this anymore. I need to chat with people that have issues like me, or used to have.

So, if anyone isn't too lazy to read...

I won't write EVERYTHING, just the most important points now...

So, back in high school, I went to medical high school...and we learned a lot of things there that was ingrained in my subconscious. It wasn't until years later that I started having anxiety-related issues. I had anxiety attacks for the first time, one was truly huge - to the point where I fell down on the floor thinking I was going to die, clutching my chest. My heart was racing like crazy. Then I started having other issues - I thought I had a brain tumour, but the doc wouldn't send me for any scans. Turned out my headaches were due to a wisdom tooth.

I thought I had ovarian cancer, cervical cancer...but the only thing I have is mild PCOS (which I sometimes use bcp pills to regulate, but sometimes I don't even need them - I went to the endocrinologist, my hormones were fine but my cortisol levels were up, and he told me my PCOS was stress-induced, and not by any gynecological problem, or insulin)...I go to the gynecologist every year and all my ultrasounds have been fine, only the occasional pcos cyst on my right ovary.

Then I was calm after that.

Then I started working out for a while, I felt great! But I stupidly changed my diet and started feeling weak, dizzy...uncoordinated and when I walked like I would fall through the floor. Again, I started thinking gods know what...but it turned out that I was B12 deficient, and I was recommended to take B12 supplements. I also started eating meat again...but I stopped exercising because it took a while to get back to feeling normal.

But the reason I stopped eating ALL meats, and eggs was because of my cholesterol, which had gotten higher ( up till 5.3, when I quit eating pork it went down to 4.7 (I still didn't stop eating all meat and dairy).

Now, in my family, I have a lot of people that suffer from cardiological issues - everyone on my dad's side has higher cholesterol, my grandpa and aunt especially, and my cousin. But they haven't been taking good care of themselves their whole lives, now they have to take medication for it. They all have higher blood pressure as well. My dad is fairly healthy, but that is because he doesn't smoke, lives a very pro-active life, and watches what he eats. So his cholesterol is lower, and he doesn't take any blood pressure medication. Still his bp is sometimes higher, but well.

I have been getting the occasional bouts of lightheadedness, and I started attributing it to my heart. I kept on thinking about heart attacks, and strokes, and how I would have to start taking medication and how I could die any moment now. Then I went to check my blood pressure on the monitor...sometimes it would be 148/99! I got even more nervous...usually it was normal, but then it would go berserkr like that.

I finally decided to go to the cardiologist.

They checked my blood pressure first...it was 125/85. Then I had the ecg and echocardiogram test. EVERYTHING TURNED OUT TO BE FINE!!

I was happy for a day. Today I started feeling woozy again, lightheaded sort of...I don't even know from what anymore.

I went to my aunts, and I checked my blood pressure on the monitor again (the cardiologist said the automatic monitors are not accurate and good),it was 157/96, then I checked it a few more times and it came to the point where it was 173/103! I started to panic again, hyperventilate, cry!

After maybe ten minutes of my aunt and cousin trying to calm me down (but they checked their blood pressure, and it was fine for them (my aunt takes medication)...

And theirs is ALWAYS normal when they check it. And only for me it oscillates! It came down to 141/86 eventually. I left after that, I just didn't want to be bothered anymore.

I don't even know what to believe anymore...is it my heart, is there some other problem...or is it just severe hypochondria. Is it just health anxiety that causes these severe spikes? Can I die?! I am very worried to the point where I am hyperventilating all the time, and I always doubt doctors now because I always feel there is something that just...can't be found. Do I need more tests?

[medic09]

I understand where you're coming from. My average blood pressure is 108/60. I once went to the hospital after an anxiety attack and it was 149/98 AFTER I had 30 minutes to calm down. I have debilitating health anxiety, and I'm also in the medical field. Anxiety can and will mess with your blood pressure like that. Just let your doctor know about it. You should be just fine.

[smokvica]

Yeah, my gp said that the monitors weren't so reliable, and it wasn't the first doctor that said that. Then the cardiologist confirmed this, and she said everything was fine with my heart. My best friends' sister is studying medicine, only has a few more exams left before she is a doc...she said that everything is fine with me too. I just keep on thinking something is wrong.

I am 26 years old, my BMI is 19.9...

Thank you so much for replying <3

[medic09]

I'm 19, my bmi is 21. your welcome for replying. I know what it's like to not get replies. & I'm in the medical field as well. Just not a doctor good luck with everything. Don't stress you self and breath. Realize you're health is okay

[smokvica]

I certainly hope it is, now I feel better after I chatted with some friends, and posted here. Also listened to classical music...

[goddman_batman]

where are you from Smokvica?

[smokvica]

Well...now I am between countries, now I am in Serbia, but lived in Canada and moving to another European country soon :P

[goddman_batman]

I knew by name, Im also from Serbia!

sve u svemu I had all these symptoms you have, and I went thru all that stuff... Stop checking your BP all the time believe me... I went thru hell with that especially with home digital ones that cane give you diffrent numbers everytime, and then when you are at doctor's it can get higher just because you are scared of not getting higher

woozy, lighthead, unbalanced feeling is what Im going thru exactly now, so I know what is like to live with that and SMARA but you need to know if you worry about those symptoms and you are scared because of them, you trigger them again because you are scared so you are getting those symptoms from those symptoms its magical circle and you need to stop worry if it happens next time just say yourself "I dont care about this, Im ok, Im ok" dont let it to get you scared and dont try to fight with that just let it be and after a while it will disapear...

stop checking BP all the time. you need to relax!

[smokvica]

Odakle si ti goddman_batman? Ja sam u Vojvodini trenutno (Novi Sad :P )...

The funny thing is, whenever I go to the doctor, my blood pressure is fine, but the home monitor...nope! And then my aunt and cousin make it even worse by saying, oooh that is not good, maybe you should go to another cardiologist your blood pressure is too high, so and so died from this and this...

So, anyways, yesterday I started having a cold, and my nose was SO stuffy I couldn't sleep. Then I was drinking so much tea, and my nose is still stuffy and my throat is scratchy and ears are a bit plugged, I sort of have a slight back headache...BUT

Whenever I am doing any physical exertion, my heart starts beating faster and I get so out of breath, even going up the stairs normally! And even getting off the couch! But I didn't check my BP today cause it probably would have been way off, with this flu, and I always get 282168 times more nervous when I see that machine.

I had anxiety before, but this is something completely new to me because I DO have people in my family with heart issues, so what if I inherited it? I still can't find myself to trust my echo and ecg report!

[Blondie517]

I have to commend you for checking your blood pressure so much, as I am absolutely terrified of even looking! LOL! I can't even walk past a blood pressure monitor at a drug store without my stomach churning. My blood pressure is ALWAYS elevated at the Dr's (what do they call it? White coat fear? Something like that, lol) but will usually lower itself by the end of the appointment when they re-check. Just think, if there ever was something wrong you are certainly being proactive about it. But I wouldn't worry, I think many of us suffer from BP fear.