Welcome to the Anxiety Forum - A Home for Those with Anxiety, Fear, or Panic Attacks.
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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    1

    My story - Anxiety

    Hi everyone,

    I've been a follower of the forum for a number of months now. It wasn't until today that I decided to join and share my story. After constant reading the forum, I'm well aware we are all not alone. Which is a very comforting thing.

    A little background on me, I'm 27 years old, male. I work in the financial services industry (self-employed) as well as dabbling in the real estate industry here in Toronto, ON. My anxiety story started for me about 6-7+ years ago. My first anxiety attack happened at the movie theatre one evening and it has never been the same since. I will admit that I have been strong and learned to cope with a lot of the symptoms. The anxiety led me to experience many things, such as: panic attacks, heart palpitations, and to more recently muscle twitches, along with many others. I've been dealing with palpitations for the last 6 or more years as well. I've had my family doc run many tests and I see my cardiologist annually (my request). I've been told over and over again that they are completely normal, however, being as stubborn as I am, it's frustrating and still scares the hell out of me. I have to say I've always struggled with anxiety, but learned to cope successfully with it over the years. It wasn't until this past February when I was at the gym (been at the gym for the last 7 years as well since after dealing with anxiety), that I experienced a palpitation and freaked myself out into a panic attack - this bout of panic lasted almost an hour or more (the panic attack only lasted 3-5 minutes, I think). It seems to have been a downward spiral for me ever since. I've started seeing someone over the last 3 months and have found it helpful. I've also learned that my anxiety now is more focused on health anxiety. Constantly worried about my heart (doctors missing things, the usual anxiety concerns). A week ago Thursday I started experiencing twitches in my left arm (the usual muscle twitches everyone experiences and that I've experienced my whole life), this twitch lasted from Thursday until Sunday-Monday, also not something completely abnormal. However, I was so focused on it, that maybe I've psyched myself out and I'm not experiencing minor twitches all over my body (from head to feet, literally, everywhere). I too, like many, made the dumb mistake of googling it, google replied to me with MS, ALS, Parkinsons, and lastly anxiety. Knowing I suffer from anxiety, you'd like to think that was where my brain went to - not so much. Now freaked out, I said okay I'll wait a day or two, see if the twitches go away. Clearly, that didn't happen either. The following Monday, I called my family doctor to schedule an appointment for Tuesday. Went to see him, he listened to my story, I told him I had some random knee/leg pain along with the twitches. He did some small tests in his office and told me to leave there knowing "no issues and no concerns". I specifically asked him if I should see a neurologist and he said "no, not at all". I clearly went on to second guess him and feel that due to him knowing I suffer from anxiety, he may be jumping to conclusions instead of fully investigating. But he's a great doctor and has been practicing for many years and I should trust him. Which lately due to suffering from health anxiety (may have been suffering from health anxiety all along, just not this bad), it's hard to do. I'm still experiencing the twitches (they've calmed down a bit), but a part of me is still concerned, as the illnesses that this is associated with are clearly life threatening and no cures - scares the hell out of me. I've been worrying myself for what I hope is nothing serious. I've been also doing the hand spreading test/squeezing test on my own constantly since my doctor did it, to ensure it's not getting any worse. I have a problem with always seeking reassurance whether it's my heartbeat, or now, muscle twitches. I guess because I've done so many tests for my heart, it's easier to believe versus now with these twitches my doctor told me he doesn't think there's anything at all wrong and anything to be concerned of. But knowing that there are brain MRI's and other tests, it leaves me with the still constant "what if". I also think that I'm constantly overthinking this and making myself believe that I'm feeling twitches and twitching sensations all over.

    I'm still working hard every day, trying to put my CBT training to work, but it's not easy. Some days are much better than others, some not so much. Always looking for ways to make me a better person, mentally and physically.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    1,189
    Hi gman009, You said that you have been lurking for awhile on the site so i wonder if you have seen the stickie called HEALTH ANXIETY EXPOSED? It's in the general section and i think that you should check it out, from start to finish. I have health anxiety myself so i know where you are coming from but focusing on things like muscle twitches and the like will always make it stick around forever, i think. I have often wondered if telling a doctor that i have HA changes the way that he/she looks and diagnoses me. Stay off Dr. Google Peace
    " it is better to keep ones mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt ", Mark Twain.

 

 

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