College?!?!??!

[ovenbakedbread]

Hi,
I am an eighteen year old college freshman. Female, if that matters. Anyway, I moved into my dorm four days ago and WHAT THE HELL? It feels like I have no control over my freaking life. I've always suffered from anxiety so I knew this would take some getting used to, but it honestly feels like I never will. People seem to like me, but not enough to actually invite me to do things with them. But my roommate on the other hand seems to have to problem with this. I'm also worried about classes, which start tomorrow. I'm only taking three this semester so I don't overwhelm myself -.- I already have a paper due next week for one of the classes and they haven't even started yet! I'm afraid to leave my dorm room because I don't want to have to be seen by people even though I know I look fine. Just the thought of SPEAKING is tolling. I just want to cry to be honest, but my roommate would probably think I have serious issues.
I already f-ed up a few times school-wise. Like today I forgot to go to a meeting with my advisor so I'm going in later today. I have to walk across campus alone and the thought makes me so anxious. I also have to go to the library to get my computer hooked up to the printer. I know these things probably seem like nothing, but they are freaking me the hell out. The fact that I'm freaked out makes me even more freaked out because if I can't do those things, how on earth am I going to get through this semester, let alone the next WEEK? I just want to crawl under my bed and not speak to anybody. And what makes things worse is that everybody thinks I'm overreacting. I know I am, haha. But it's not really something I can control. I don't know what to do...Advice?

[Kuma]

Hey - go easy on yourself! Going to college is a BIG adjustment, for anyone. Maybe bigger for someone who has a history of anxiety, but really for anyone. Some people just hide it better than others! The social stuff is an adjustment. Living away is an adjustment. Dorm life and roommate relations is certainly an adjustment. And of course academic work is not the same as in high school! So don't be too hard on yourself. Just accept that this is a big period of adjustment and there is inevitably a certain amount of dislocation involved. (It will also probably to be the best years of your life, even if its a bit hard to fathom that right now!).

Don't let the social stuff stress you out too much. I am sure other people are not thinking anything bad about your or judging you. They have their own problems! Everyone is just trying to meet people, see where they fit in, find a routine and a group of friends, get organized, etc. You are in the same boat, in that respect, as every other freshman. It will sort out over the next weeks or months. So just hang in there, do your academic work, accept the fact that you will not do it perfectly - nobody ever does - be nice, don't worry too much, and be open to meeting people.

It will all be good. Really. Just get past the initial adjustment period.

[gadguy]

Hey - go easy on yourself! Going to college is a BIG adjustment, for anyone. Maybe bigger for someone who has a history of anxiety, but really for anyone. Some people just hide it better than others! The social stuff is an adjustment. Living away is an adjustment. Dorm life and roommate relations is certainly an adjustment. And of course academic work is not the same as in high school! So don't be too hard on yourself. Just accept that this is a big period of adjustment and there is inevitably a certain amount of dislocation involved. (It will also probably to be the best years of your life, even if its a bit hard to fathom that right now!).

Don't let the social stuff stress you out too much. I am sure other people are not thinking anything bad about your or judging you. They have their own problems! Everyone is just trying to meet people, see where they fit in, find a routine and a group of friends, get organized, etc. You are in the same boat, in that respect, as every other freshman. It will sort out over the next weeks or months. So just hang in there, do your academic work, accept the fact that you will not do it perfectly - nobody ever does - be nice, don't worry too much, and be open to meeting people.

It will all be good. Really. Just get past the initial adjustment period.

What he said, my first semester started out rough...but I got into the swing of things and made friendships that have lasted over 30 years.

[snowberry]

Hey Oven,

You're going through a huge adjustment period right now, like Kuma said. It would be more unusual if you weren't at all anxious. Try not to think 'how can I do this without being anxious?' and think: 'I can find a way to do this even if I'm anxious.'

Because that's the reality. Your anxiety won't go away overnight. You've got to work with it. Right now, that means accepting that when you hop across campus to get this or that done, it's going to feel shitty for a while. You might even feel that it's impossible. But you can do it. A good way to get by is to imagine you're floating when you go outside to the library or whatever. Your legs might feel like jelly but they'll get you where you need to go, and imagine yourself floating across the path or down the steps. Don't fight the anxiety. It will fight back harder and win. Accept it and let it do its thing. It will soon go as you get used to being away from home and your support network, and seeing new faces. Remember everyone is in the same boat as you, they are worried about their own lives and are not spending hours trying to figure you out. When you pass people, float by them. Maybe smile if you make eye contact. They might not smile back - like your anxiety, that is also something you will have to accept. It is a matter for them and not for you.

I'm moving abroad in just over two weeks, to spend up to a year in a country I've never been to. This means I'll be in a similar situation as you, and I'll be taking my own advice! It will suck hard at first, but once the shock of change has passed we'll both feel more like ourselves again. Good luck!