i honestly don't know what's going on with me anymore.
i can't take criticism lightly. they unpleasantly affect me and upset me and i know it's bad. it's like i want to change everything to please others because if i don't please others, i won't be...happy, i guess. it's just that i hate, absolutely hate, people talking negatively of me. if someone, preferably strangers, criticises me for something i generally do, it really gets to me. i can't say my exact reasons but i currently feel very upset and hopeless. i can't deal with people talking about me. i long to stay anonymous but i know it's too late and it bothers me. criticism really gets to me. these 'perfectionist tendencies' are getting to me. a part of me lives in fear and doubt and im always questioning myself. i think i like being alone but when you're alone, your mind is alive and everything comes back to you. when you're with others, you're distracted from your problems. what sucks the most is when you remember your problems when you're with family or friends and you can't do anything but sit there and wallow yourself in so many negative emotions. past memories have slowly been coming back to me. sometimes i feel like a really terrible person who is unworthy of love and happiness. if you haven't read my first post, i have never spoken to a therapist about my problems so i've never been diagnosed with anything. i just don't know anymore. i don't know what to feel. all i know is that i regret absolutely everything and i wish i could start all over from the beginning.
i feel nauseous and i have a headache, which doesn't really help my case.