Are you afraid that the people you love will die?

[Goomba]

We are taught to fear Death. I think it is commendable that the OP posted as they did. There are those of us on this forum right now having to deal with the death of a loved one; and of course those who have already responded to share their loss and grief. The Drama the holds us back as loved ones Die: The thing that sucks about death for me - is how we are kept at a distance during that crucial moment our loved one transits from living to dead. $$$$ and Insurance may dictate what kind of end your able to have. A hospice can be a great place for loved one to say there good byes. It's the unexpected death that can take the largest toll. I was notified of my brothers unexpected death whilst on this forum half way through a post in one of my other threads. My wife has a nasty affliction called MS - I am always thinking about her death. I have happened across a close friend in the gutter who ODed. Kings Cross Sydney 87 - Another one hanging on a clothes line 92-3 out in his back yard. ... there where others ... but: __________________________________ All the people we live will die. All people die. Am I afraid. Yes. But again - more so because we are taught to fear death. Fear Sells! We live in a world that loves to Sell! Once you come to see that, you begin to have an appreciation for the cultures thus far lost. Where people are taught from an early age, that dying is just a part of life. The spiritual aspect to many of these previous cultures embed a common theme - a cycle of life. The closet Modern Society comes to anything like that, is either an afterlife based on Fear or a One time deal that seeks the fountain of youth. The older cultures tend to accept and welcome the cycle for what it is, whilst the others both live in fear. I have since unlearned a lot of the crap. What counts is the days you have now with those that you love. I only get frustrated when taking in all that BS about striving and driving to be more than I already am. Watching my kids and family trying to turn the wheel, get that house or that job ... all that shit. Those kind of pursuits just get in the way of living full stop. However in saying that, I only just commended my son for getting a job yesterday. I know he does not need to hear my BS when he is trying so hard to run the maze. I cheer my other daughter on with her UNI distinctions and so on. I do what I can to foster the relationships now. Just as people in here don't want to hear about death - a time will come and in day and age, mostly when we least expect it. The truth is, many of us spend way too much time with our heads up our asses to even care. Smells better than what's really going on out there. Better to be a Joker with a few memes and icons and forget the harsh reality of this world. Better yet, start your own reality. I'm big on that. LOL - Out of all the people I have seen drop dead, die, or knock themselves off - just be content with the time that you had. ... and for now ... if your still worried about it ... the ones that are NOT dead ... spend some time with them and make it count. Above all, we should learn from the other lost cultures who are slowly fading away - being assimilated ... that death is not something to be afraid of ... even if you don't believe in an after life. Enjoy the time you have knowing that each of us will soon be dead. Unlearn all this purist of whatever and just start living with what you already have and be who you already are. Enjoy your friends and family whilst they are not yet dead. Because like me ... half way through a post like this, you might get - Ring RING Ring - your loved one is dead. Be happy with what you already have. Fear is good at blinding people to that.

Phenomenal

[gypsylee]

I'm loving this thread. Death is such a taboo subject in our culture and that makes it so much worse than it needs to be. Other cultures don't have such a fear of death and just see it as a part of life. It's not the opposite of life, it's the opposite of birth. Birth is seen as this massively joyous occasion and death this absolutely horrible one. Sure, death is more sad, but I think it's out of proportion in our culture. Take away some of the taboo and it isn't half as scary. We sanitise death and hide it away with discreet funerals.. Pretend it isn't happening basically. Like anything that gets repressed and hidden, this creates fear. I say talk about it and get it out in the open!

[aicherrrr]

Good Evening,

I am amazing and humbled at the responses posted here. Thank you for sharing such personal moments. Sorry about giving you anxiety, my intention was to do the opposite. Out of all the problems in the world that you have, if you could have a solution to one of them. What problem would you want a solution for?

[jessed03]

When I was a kid, this was my earliest anxiety. I remember playing football with my dad and being absolutely terrified that he would just drop dead. Then we'd go home and I'd be terrified opening the door because I thought my mum may have passed on while in her chair or something. I was really young then, too. Maybe 4 or 5.

I like Ponder's post a lot. We're trained to fear death as humans. It keeps us under control, but I guess it protects us too. Could you imagine a mother not telling her child to stop doing dangerous things? That'd probably go badly wrong. The kid'd end up falling out of a window or something. So yeah, we're taught from birth that death = awful. Social conditioning is extremely powerful.

I feel I should offer some kind of solution, but I don't have one, LOL. The things that have helped me are just choosing to live the moment so I can appreciate it fully. That has stopped me thinking too far into the future. Also, understanding more about the mind, about life and about death have helped me. I no longer view death as the worst possible thing that can happen to a person. It actually seems extremely peaceful when I think about it. I've also come to the conclusion that people, or at least the energy/consciousness they're comprised of, don't really die, even though they probably cease to exist in their previous form. That's somewhat comforting to me.

You're certainly not alone with your fears, man.

[gardensparrow]

I agree that's it's easy to get caught up in the fear of losing your loved ones, and wasting time you could spend making memories, worrying. But, for me, my belief that God is in control helps me to let go of that fear. Don't get me wrong, I still struggle from time to time, but believing that everything isn't random and there is purpose to our lives helps me to let go of the fact that I can't control how long my friends and family will be on this earth. It also helps me to believe that earth isn't all the time we'll get. I believe, when you know Christ as your Savior, you also have an eternity with Him to look forward to-hopefully, surrounded by your loved ones....

[schecky]

I have this really bad, and not just exclusively for family. Death anxiety is one of the scariest things, in my opinion, because death is so final. I have religious-based OCD (where I feel the compulsion to constantly pray/has Christian themes as the backdrop of most of my tics) and its always preventative stuff - doing this will prevent my grandparents from dying, or doing that will save someone's soul. But, I've realized that these thoughts are irrational, and there's nothing I can do but make the most of time in the now. I try to become a little more mindful and live in the moment as time goes on, rather than plan and think about things in the future I have no control over. But yes, I and many others definitely do battle with the same thoughts.