always doing something wrong (im new)

[purplepink]

I dont even know how to start but i'll try to make it short. im 17 and my entire life ive hated myself. i always feel like no matter what im doing, im doing it wrong and making myself look like an idiot. I was diagnosed with depression and social anxiety around a year ago, and i went through months of cbt and am on meds currently but i dont feel any different. the issue is im so worried that everyone around me will blame me for not being better or not improving my anxiety, so i just pretend im fine although i just want to scream that im not. i freeze up when asked to order food at a restaurant, my heart races when i pass someone on the street or pay for something at the store. i know i cant function like a normal person like this but im just so scared that everyone will be disappointed in me for needing more help. the logic side of my brain tells me im being stupid and irrational, but i just cant "not worry what other people think" I understand that i should be able to disregard what people might think of me, but i just cant do it emotionally.

even now im scared someones going to think im stupid because maybe i screwed up the posting of this. i am so sick of being afraid. what should i do?

[mrslizzyg]

Hey there..

I think you need to be patient with yourself.. It takes a lot of time to learn to manage anxiety, and where you will get to a point that you don't care as much about what other people think- and yes, you WILL get there.
You ARE trying to do better, so you can't disappoint anyone. You have done therapy, you take meds, and hell even showing up on this forum says you are trying!

Keep pushing on. You are headed in the right direction.. Your anxiety is what is telling you that you are somehow letting others down..

[MiST]

Hey there..

I think you need to be patient with yourself.. It takes a lot of time to learn to manage anxiety, and where you will get to a point that you don't care as much about what other people think- and yes, you WILL get there.
You ARE trying to do better, so you can't disappoint anyone. You have done therapy, you take meds, and hell even showing up on this forum says you are trying!

Keep pushing on. You are headed in the right direction.. Your anxiety is what is telling you that you are somehow letting others down..

Wise words indeed..

People are like mushrooms, overrated..

[bizcoach]

Welcome Purplepink.

You are perfectly describing my life when I was 17. I am now 56 and still struggle despite amazing successes through the years. My saving grace e was not therapy or meds (although I have relied on them in times of crisis), but was meeting my soul mate, now my wife for 34 years. Her kind and patient understanding of my fears of restaurants, public places, crowds, and public washrooms has helped me tolerate these situations today. I am not comfortable yet but I can tolerate occasional social episodes. A patient and loyal friend or family member or social worker could.offer similar support. I can manage drive through restaurants now , so fast food is my friend although I trade off with my wife on the ordering part. Practice and patience are key. Speak with you family doctor and search for free social work help with stress and anxiety.

Stay tuned into this forum and we will help all we can. Their is a bright future ahead.

[bizcoach]

Double post delete