Question about GAD - Please Reply

[Christheanxiousone]

Hello all, my name is Chris, I am an anxious person most of the time but up until about a week ago, I could cope and live a little, I wasn't that unhappy with my life, I enjoyed most things. I've had "ruts" where it was bad then passed, while I am normally anxious, this past week has not been normal for me and I am desperate for answers. I have been dwelling on my worries, feeling hopeless, doomed, sometimes struggling with feelings of "going crazy" that I worry about, although I am seeing improvement in the frequency of this concern, but anyway, all around I do NOT feel like my normal self. Nothing has changed, really. Not sure what brought it on. I know the night this all started I woke up with a slight panic, and then BOOM, this wave, I couldn't just brush it off like I normally do... so my question is, does anyone else here with GAD or anxiety have weeks where they know for a FACT they don't feel like their normal anxious self? I guess you could say, I am not coping as good as I usually do and I know for a fact that I have not always been this way or else I wouldn't be worried. So anyone out there, please respond. Put me at ease that this will pass.

[needtogetwell]

Anxiety for me has been much like what you describe. And it does pass, all be it sometimes slower than you would like.

I know it is so hard but you really have to convince yourself that all is well and put it out of your mind. Right now you are allowing your anxious brain to take over. It sounds harsh, and I don't mean to be, but the more you feed it, the longer this wave is going to last.

Check out this web page. Anxietycoach.com, it is really good.

Some diaphragmatic breathing exercises would be useful too.

These waves really do suck but you can and will get through it.

Cheers

[CR_Chris]

When you are in an anxious episode it's different from the lower-level anxiety that we may or may not experience on a daily basis, and with which we can generally cope. It sounds like you're anxious about being anxious and worrying about your mental health. Waking up and having that dreadful BOOM moment when the adrenaline hits you... yep, that sounds familiar. Suddently you're in totally different territory and it's a fight for survival.

It will pass. Those little words seem so trivial and stupid, but I can tell you that every single rotten anxious episode I've ever had, has ended at some point, and life, and enjoyment of life, has resumed.

[Christheanxiousone]

Thank you SO much for replying, both of you. So you have had anxiety episodes worse like this that end? Mine I can tell is an episode. I see a little bit of hope. While most days are still a struggle since this began, it isn't constant, well yeah, it is, but it's getting a tiny bit better. The pshyical panic seems to be better. Mostly mental anxiety now. So you've had this before? It passed? I know it will, I've had "ruts" before, I just love hearing details and hope is all. Thank you again.

[CR_Chris]

Thank you SO much for replying, both of you. So you have had anxiety episodes worse like this that end? Mine I can tell is an episode. I see a little bit of hope. While most days are still a struggle since this began, it isn't constant, well yeah, it is, but it's getting a tiny bit better. The pshyical panic seems to be better. Mostly mental anxiety now. So you've had this before? It passed? I know it will, I've had "ruts" before, I just love hearing details and hope is all. Thank you again.

I'm glad the comments are of help to you. I remember the worst anxiety episode I ever had (five years ago) and I was completely dysfunctional... I was signed off sick from work and spent every day lying on my bed in a cold sweat, utterly consumed with fear and dread. Even the smallest task like feeding the cat felt like an impossible mountain to climb. I honestly believed I'd never work again, despite the fact that I'm a successful professional. I saw everyone else whether they were a high-powered lawyer or a garbage collection guy as being more successful than me. I believed that even if I got better, work would still fire me for having taken several weeks off sick. It was pure hell.

Mornings were the worst and it gradually got "better" throughout the day until by evening I could have a beer and things almost felt bearable again. I'd be so exhausted from the panic and adrenaline and fear all day that I'd go straight to sleep. But at first light I'd wake and the horror would flood right back into me and my heart would immediately start pounding and my skin start pricking.

And yet, it passed. It didn't last forever and I got better and made a slow return to work over a few weeks. I did go on mild medication (citalopram), which to this day I'm still on, I had counselling, and I talked to those close to me. I had to work at it. But a couple of months later I was back at full speed, did some of my best ever work and felt confident and social again. At my lowest, that point seemed utterly impossible.

You have hope for sure. You definitely do, you just need to work out how to get through each day, and the people on this forum will be here to help you. I actually took to writing myself a letter each evening to read the following morning, reassuring myself that I could get through the day, no matter how dreadful I felt when I woke up.

Hope this helps.

[jshen]

I'm going through that right now Chris. I feel spacey and not all present. I'm trying to find the right meds for me and that journey is a hard one. I'm right there with ya! (unfortunately) lol

[Christheanxiousone]

I'm glad the comments are of help to you. I remember the worst anxiety episode I ever had (five years ago) and I was completely dysfunctional... I was signed off sick from work and spent every day lying on my bed in a cold sweat, utterly consumed with fear and dread. Even the smallest task like feeding the cat felt like an impossible mountain to climb. I honestly believed I'd never work again, despite the fact that I'm a successful professional. I saw everyone else whether they were a high-powered lawyer or a garbage collection guy as being more successful than me. I believed that even if I got better, work would still fire me for having taken several weeks off sick. It was pure hell.

Mornings were the worst and it gradually got "better" throughout the day until by evening I could have a beer and things almost felt bearable again. I'd be so exhausted from the panic and adrenaline and fear all day that I'd go straight to sleep. But at first light I'd wake and the horror would flood right back into me and my heart would immediately start pounding and my skin start pricking.

And yet, it passed. It didn't last forever and I got better and made a slow return to work over a few weeks. I did go on mild medication (citalopram), which to this day I'm still on, I had counselling, and I talked to those close to me. I had to work at it. But a couple of months later I was back at full speed, did some of my best ever work and felt confident and social again. At my lowest, that point seemed utterly impossible.

You have hope for sure. You definitely do, you just need to work out how to get through each day, and the people on this forum will be here to help you. I actually took to writing myself a letter each evening to read the following morning, reassuring myself that I could get through the day, no matter how dreadful I felt when I woke up.

Hope this helps.

Hey dude. Thank you so much for replying. So there really is such a thing as these "ruts" and they let up over time? I am seeing a very tiny bit of improvement, I don't have full blown attacks although it feels as if I'm always on the edge of one. So yours just kinda let up over time? I'm about a week in, so hoping that means I'm almost through it. Here is the improvement I'm seeing: while it's always in my head, my pshyical traits of anxiety are dying down, but that isn't giving much of a break mentally. I've had moments where I actutally eat which is a surprise, I have moments of "calm" and I say that with quotations because it's no where near normal "calm" for me. Here's my BIGGEST issue that if I could over come, I'd be fine, did you ever have the feeling of dread and doom like at any moment you're gonna snap and never return? Like go mad or crazy or something? Like you're hanging on by your finger nails and dread a no escape? Did you feel that during your rut? Then worry about worry? So on and so forth.

[Christheanxiousone]

Also, do you guys believe it would be good and increase the recovery time/speed if I did things even if I feel anxious/dreadful/fear etc, I would continue living if I didn't feel like it'd only add to my stress. I feel like I have to VERY careful in everything I do, like I should be taking it easy or else I'll make it worse. What do you guys suggest that I do about this issue?

[CR_Chris]

Also, do you guys believe it would be good and increase the recovery time/speed if I did things even if I feel anxious/dreadful/fear etc, I would continue living if I didn't feel like it'd only add to my stress. I feel like I have to VERY careful in everything I do, like I should be taking it easy or else I'll make it worse. What do you guys suggest that I do about this issue?

It's good that you've recognized this. I guess I'd say challenge yourself to do things, but do so gently. Don't try to achieve too much at once, just do one step at a time and take the time to congratulate yourself if you manage to meet a friend for coffee even when you felt like hiding away.

As for your other question... yes, I did feel my sanity was at risk when I was anxious. I'm convinced that we generally take our sanity for granted, but you will be ok. You will feel like you're losing it at time, but that doesn't mean you're not going to get better. When I recover from anxiety and in a "normal" state of mind examine what it was that tied me in such terrible knots, I think "why would that bother you so much?". But when you're in it, it's real. You're in an altered state of mind, but that doesn't mean you're going crazy or that you're going to go crazy.

You're here, you're on this forum, you're talking about it. You're doing the right things and you're going to be ok.