Hi all ...

[Soulcatcher71]

Hi guys.
So a little about me - now in my early 40's, have been suffering from Panic Disorder and all manner of associated symptoms since I was 11.
I was always an incredibly shy child and found being around other kids stressful even then. Didn't feel comfortable anywhere other than my own home.
Up until the move to senior school I didn't exhibit any symptoms other than extreme shyness.
Unfortunately the move to a larger school full of hundreds of strangers, plus a large dose of bullying, sent my mind over the top, and I experienced my first panic attack.
It wasn't the panic attack that caused the problems however, it was my mind obsessing over the incident ... and that is the story of my life ...... a mind that I can't control.
I obsessed over the panic attack to the point where my mind started creating new fears for me to have ..... Its still hard for me to tell this sort of stuff even now, but i had all sorts of rampant thoughts that I couldn't control, and each time they came back they'd escalate to even higher proportions that just seemed to get crazier and crazier. I've gone through periods of time when I was afraid of stopping breathing - needing the toilet - being sick - and even a fear of my own tongue .....

Well, as life progressed, I went through remission periods, and then back to all out mental anguish periods.

Generally things are much better now i'm older. I still go through periods of 'rampant mind' episodes, although these days they are usually brought on by stress at work.
My current 'fears' are mainly centered around anything to do with public speaking, or being in new environments. And I struggle with anything around my neck (ties are unthinkable), and dentists are a struggle too. In fact, anything that could possibly trigger my incredibly sensitive gag reflex.

I'm deeply interested in spirituality and have always tried to look there for any answers to why my mind behaves out of my control. I firmly believe that all my problems are mind related, and if I can learn how to control it, I'll be free of this torment.
I've tried to use my issues to my advantage, and i've spent the past 30 years studying my mind and the way it pulls my awareness into states of extreme panic/anxiety. And also the way my head seems to feel crushed after a whole day of anxiety, almost like all the energy around my head is being sucked in.

So that's about it I guess, look forward to chatting to you.

[needtogetwell]

Hi Soulcatcher,

Welcome,

Just a quick thought off the top of my head....have you ever investigated CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). I think this might be a terrific fit for you to help with your thought patterns.

I was much like you and found it very helpful.

Good luck and again, welcome to the forum.

[gypsylee]

Welcome Soulcatcher

[Soulcatcher71]

Hi Soulcatcher,

Welcome,

Just a quick thought off the top of my head....have you ever investigated CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). I think this might be a terrific fit for you to help with your thought patterns.

I was much like you and found it very helpful.

Good luck and again, welcome to the forum.

Yes I've been down the Cognitive Behavioural route before and haven't found it that helpful personally.
My problem seems to stem with the fact that my mind is way more powerful than my body, and seems to be capable of changing my outlook on the situation in a heartbeat.

I was thinking about this earlier, and maybe the root of all our problems lies in the fact that all our minds actually have a greater capacity for deep thought - which results in a negative way in the symptoms we're familiar with (stress/anxiety/panic/depression etc). On the positive side, we're capable of thinking at a much deeper level than most? Just a thought.

On that note - I'm sure everyone on this forum has met at least one person who has never experienced any form of stress, anxiety, panic etc in their entire lives. Because they haven't experienced it before they firmly believe that all these experiences are made up, and that we should just pull ourselves together lol. You all know the type right?
Well what if they just have a mind that isn't capable of deeper thought? And they'll live and die only ever experiencing life on a more subliminal level than we live it?

What I'm trying to suggest is that maybe we all have a gift for higher thought, and somewhere along the line it just got twisted a little, and focused itself on darker aspects?
Something to think about.