I will try keep this short, but I really need someone to talk me down because I can't do it on my own..
A week ago, my flatmates saved my life, they stopped me from killing myself because of my depression anxiety..
One of my flatmates is a guy I used to hang around with, he left me for his ex then came back and went with my best friend who is also my flatmate but they aren't in a relationship, hes just playing her.. Needless to say, he is a player. We all know this.
The other night, he was helping me through another panic attack, I kissed him.. It meant nothing and I would never ever hurt my best friend, she is everything to me, I was in a state where I didn't know what was happening, I guess a lot of you people know what I mean, and I know there is no excuse. He slept in my bed with me that night because he had to watch me, I told her about that, Just not the kiss. The problem I have is that I haven't told her and I know if I do, I will lose her and I cannot deal with that, and I know I will harm myself.. If I was in a right state of mine, I would have told her the second it happened but I can't survive without her. Please help me.. I need to talk to someone who understands..