Hello all, it's been a heck of a week, but I survived it. I'm in theatre and band and it was "hell week" for both (the week leading up to a performance where final touches are added and everyone is on edge.) My play did not advance unfortunately, but I'm starting to think that it is probably a good thing because now I'll get a small break from theatre, at least for a little while. It makes me kind of sad to be honest, my cast and crew were so supportive. A handful of them had anxiety too so they understood me more than most of my friends. But I know they'll always be there for me, we all will be. I had two panic attacks yesterday, I knew I would at some point because we were at the school the contest was being held at from 9 in the morning to about 10 at night and then we didn't get home until one in the morning. I don't know if my panic attacks were completely just because of anxiety because when I get tired I usually lose, it was just accompanied by a panic attack. My friend just held me for about an hour and I cried a lot. These panic attacks scare me a lot, it's only natural. I felt like I was about to die, or that I wanted to or something. My mind is just not right, and I told him that. He doesn't really understand but then again it's a lot to ask someone to understand something as complex as this. I know that things will get better, it's just that it's not easy having anxiety. It's scary and draining and flat out awful. I know that I'm surrounded by people who love me but I can't help but to feel so alone in this journey. I'm trying to keep my head up, this storm won't last forever.