Originally Posted by
alyssum
Hello again. Today wasn't necessarily bad, just not too great. I had a band contest today and my reed was not working and the audience was rude and clapped in the middle of the piece, right before my solo. It wasn't awful, it just wasn't up to my standards. Everyone understood the circumstances and said I did a good job. I'm not that bummed and stuff like this usually doesn't bug me. But it does now. I just wish it wasn't like this sometimes. I was up on stage doing what I love and I was afraid that I'd have an attack. I have so much homework to the point of where I don't want to do any of it and just go to sleep. Sometimes my to do list is so long all I can do is stare at it. I have a public performance of my play tomorrow and I just want to cry. I'm starting to feel sad for no reason again and I don't like it. It's not like my depression, it's just unexplained sadness. I'm not one to complain usually about things but I feel rather alone in dealing with all of this. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.