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  1. #1
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    Exclamation Please help me...

    Hi, I'm a 19 year old female and I've started having anxiety attacks since I was 13 when i was bullied but I felt like I have developed agoraphobia. I would like to apologize beforehand for the lengthy post since I'm new to this.

    Since i was just 13, I did not know what was happening and I started to fear my own thoughts as i started thinking of what is wrong with me physically since no adults would believe that my attacks are anything serious. However, now it has gotten to the point that this i feel constantly afraid of being embarrased and having attacks in public and it is disrupting with my life. I started to fear people and going out of my house,especially places which are crowded and noisy where my attacks would usually occur. This has also affected my social life and self esteem. The anxiety and fear that's been growing in me for years only went downhill when i finally saw a psychiatrist a few months ago. He only told me that I have anxiety attacks and gave me anti-depressants, changing the type of anti-depressant when I told him it only got worse. The fact that my anxiety is real only made me more concious of it and I started to stress myself and fear my thoughts even more. I couldn't find a way to stop my anxieties and the psychiatrists only says the same things my friends and family did such as 'find a hobby, exercise and get in touch with friends.' The problem is, my anxiety and agoraphobia itself is ruining my social life and happiness. I can't socialize with people without fearing that they would judge me or hate me and I can't get myself to exercise since i always feel light headed and get attacks when i exercise which makes me fear having an attack if i try to jog or swim. I know I need to stop being afraid but I don't know how to convince myself. I realize the problem is in me and the psychiatrist did not help me uncover my problems so I stopped going for therapies.

    However, I cannot get out of this anxiety loop. It's gotten to the point that don't know what to do anymore. I can't look forward to life and the fact that this is all just in my head is making me feel insane. I've been an emotional wreck ever since the psychiatrist confirmed that i have anxiety issues. I feel as if all the fears and anxiety i had since i was 13 was confirmed and I suddenly have to handle it. This is too much for me. Please tell me what you think I should do to stop or accept my anxieties or your own experience so that I can understand it better and know i'm not the only one....

  2. #2
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    " I've been an emotional wreck ever since the psychiatrist confirmed that i have anxiety issues."

    Hi, Most people have anxiety issues to one degree or another, it is not a death sentence. You will get help and make it through! You are not the only one for sure.

    Wishing you well!

  3. #3
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    First of all, you are normal and what you describe is so common that we have even have this website with people all over the world experiencing similar symptoms.

    You need to educate yourself on what it is you going through.

    I highly recommend seeking out an appropriate Psychologist trained and experienced in anxiety disorders and CBT, you may not be able to control the symptoms but you can learn to control your own thought process and break the anxiety loop you describe and make good progress in your recovery.


    You need to stop fighting the disorder as if it were a physical being, and learn to love yourself for who you are. You are allowed to be nervous and anxious, it may feel very uncomfortable and frightening but I promise you that it is no dangerous.

    Our thought processes act like this. Fearful thoughts = physical symptoms = more fearful thoughts = more physical symptoms = anxiety = physical symptoms= fearful thoughts = anxiety and on and on.

    The quicker we can disrupt the thought process the quicker we break the anxiety.

    You are normal and so are we!

    Best wishes

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deano99 View Post
    First of all, you are normal and what you describe is so common that we have even have this website with people all over the world experiencing similar symptoms.

    You need to educate yourself on what it is you going through.

    I highly recommend seeking out an appropriate Psychologist trained and experienced in anxiety disorders and CBT, you may not be able to control the symptoms but you can learn to control your own thought process and break the anxiety loop you describe and make good progress in your recovery.


    You need to stop fighting the disorder as if it were a physical being, and learn to love yourself for who you are. You are allowed to be nervous and anxious, it may feel very uncomfortable and frightening but I promise you that it is no dangerous.

    Our thought processes act like this. Fearful thoughts = physical symptoms = more fearful thoughts = more physical symptoms = anxiety = physical symptoms= fearful thoughts = anxiety and on and on.

    The quicker we can disrupt the thought process the quicker we break the anxiety.

    You are normal and so are we!

    Best wishes
    Very nice post Dean !
    "Each person alive helps paint the living picture of civilization as it exists at any given time. Be your own best artist. Your thoughts, feelings, and expectations are like the living brush strokes with which you paint your corner of lifes landscape. If you do your best in your own life, then you are helping to improve the quality of all life. Your thoughts mix and merge with others, to form man's living-scape, providing the vast mental elements from which physical events will be formed"

  5. #5
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    I can completely relate, Chelle. It's so terrifying to realize that your own mind is manifesting these symptoms!

    I ordered a wonderful book online, "Curing Anxiety, phobias shyness and OCD - The Phobease Way" By Dr. Howard Liebgold, MD. He is so great at validating one's feelings, and really made me believe that anxiety CAN easily be cured. I am new to all of this, so it hasn't "cured" me yet, but it has made me feel like there is a bright, glorious light at the end of the tunnel. If you don't want to order it, feel free to PM me and I can give you some direct quotes that have really helped me thus far!

    Best of luck to you, and just remember you are never alone.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustaGal View Post
    " I've been an emotional wreck ever since the psychiatrist confirmed that i have anxiety issues."

    Hi, Most people have anxiety issues to one degree or another, it is not a death sentence. You will get help and make it through! You are not the only one for sure.

    Wishing you well!
    I have not met anyone with similar problems and most people would not take me seriously so it gives me hope that I am not the only one. I'm thankful to hear from someone who understands.

    Quote Originally Posted by Deano99 View Post
    First of all, you are normal and what you describe is so common that we have even have this website with people all over the world experiencing similar symptoms.

    You need to educate yourself on what it is you going through.

    I highly recommend seeking out an appropriate Psychologist trained and experienced in anxiety disorders and CBT, you may not be able to control the symptoms but you can learn to control your own thought process and break the anxiety loop you describe and make good progress in your recovery.


    You need to stop fighting the disorder as if it were a physical being, and learn to love yourself for who you are. You are allowed to be nervous and anxious, it may feel very uncomfortable and frightening but I promise you that it is no dangerous.

    Our thought processes act like this. Fearful thoughts = physical symptoms = more fearful thoughts = more physical symptoms = anxiety = physical symptoms= fearful thoughts = anxiety and on and on.

    The quicker we can disrupt the thought process the quicker we break the anxiety.

    You are normal and so are we!

    Best wishes
    I was not able to get professional help but I had taken your advice and I've felt much better now. I feared my anxiety too much and was so focused on fixing it that I stressed myself. I felt really relieved to hear that this is normal and that being worried is not a bad thing. Currently, I am learning about how to accept my anxiety, learning more about it and accepting my worries.

    Honestly, I cried when I read your post. It was very reassuring. Thank you very much!

    Quote Originally Posted by Coco pop View Post
    I can completely relate, Chelle. It's so terrifying to realize that your own mind is manifesting these symptoms!

    I ordered a wonderful book online, "Curing Anxiety, phobias shyness and OCD - The Phobease Way" By Dr. Howard Liebgold, MD. He is so great at validating one's feelings, and really made me believe that anxiety CAN easily be cured. I am new to all of this, so it hasn't "cured" me yet, but it has made me feel like there is a bright, glorious light at the end of the tunnel. If you don't want to order it, feel free to PM me and I can give you some direct quotes that have really helped me thus far!

    Best of luck to you, and just remember you are never alone.
    Yes, it is also stressful since it takes time to find our own way to cope our anxious thoughts. Most likely, it will differ from person to person but I know we will be able to accept our anxieties one day. I am also new to this so thank you for the suggestion, I will definitely check out the book.


    I'm really thankful for the replies and I am happy to say that I am learning to accept my anxieties and am learning to live my life without being overly wary of it. But I'm wondering of what next.

    Is it possible to completely get rid of anxiety attacks and its symptoms eventually?
    Last edited by chelle; 04-15-2015 at 07:04 AM.

  7. #7
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    Is it possible to completely get rid of anxiety attacks and its symptoms eventually?[/QUOTE]

    There is one thing I know for certain with anxiety attacks and symptoms, if you want them to persist forever and loose ground to them there are some simple steps to take;
    (1) Fear panic/anxiety
    (2) Fight against the symptoms of Anxiety
    (3) Avoid all anxiety provoking situations
    (4) Worry about the next time you will feel anxiety
    (5) Try to never have anxiety symptoms again
    (6) Run away from panic symptoms
    (7) Expect to master panic attacks before ever facing one ever again.

    If you follow those steps you can keep housebound, trapped and frightened your whole life.

    Would you like to not feel anxious instead?

    The only way we can change this is by changing our reactions to anxiety and panic. Look, we can not control what our subconscious minds do and the anxiety they create. We can change our response to those feelings. Firstly, anxiety feelings are actually your brain trying to help you! It senses danger or threat and releases stress hormones to help you.......it's your brain trying to help you. So stop fighting those feelings, they are not your enemy. When you fight those feelings your subconscious thinks that your under even more stress and threat so releases more stress hormones and anxiety feelings.

    So stop continually analysing your anxiety levels, you have no control over them.

    This is the main point. Your goal should not be to avoid having anxiety in your life or beat anxiety, your goal is to change your response you have to them.

    Try doing this, do what ever it is that makes you feel anxious. But, do not try to do it without feeling anxious, embrace the feelings, expect the feelings, do not fight the sensations, accept it in to the situation, and try to remember the anxiety is your brain trying to help you.

    The more you run away from the feared situation the more it will chase you. So turn around and stop letting it stalk you, walk towards it and let it touch you, let yourself feel it. What ever you resist, will persist!

    Your goal, allow yourself to be anxious! Haven't you ever realised that all your running away, avoiding and worrying has not cured you? Then its time for a different approach.



    I know that may all sound a bit jumbled, but I hope it helps.

    Remember, LOVE yourself

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deano99 View Post
    [I]

    So stop continually analysing your anxiety levels, you have no control over them.

    This is the main point. Your goal should not be to avoid having anxiety in your life or beat anxiety, your goal is to change your response you have to them.

    Try doing this, do what ever it is that makes you feel anxious. But, do not try to do it without feeling anxious, embrace the feelings, expect the feelings, do not fight the sensations, accept it in to the situation, and try to remember the anxiety is your brain trying to help you.

    The more you run away from the feared situation the more it will chase you. So turn around and stop letting it stalk you, walk towards it and let it touch you, let yourself feel it. What ever you resist, will persist!

    Your goal, allow yourself to be anxious! Haven't you ever realised that all your running away, avoiding and worrying has not cured you? Then its time for a different approach.



    I know that may all sound a bit jumbled, but I hope it helps.

    Remember, LOVE yourself

    This is 100% true, thinking about anxiety only causes anxiety. You have to learn to live in the moment and experience what is now, not what may be. Anxiety is a tough one but when you think about it, it's fear and just like any other fear it can be conquered. You have to follow what's written above, learn to accept it and move on. You won't be able to stop it but what you can do is learn to not fear it. The whole thing is called the " fear of fear" and this is the worst thing you can do, being afraid of anxiety makes you anxious and around it goes. The key, the one and only key is to learn to not fear it but rather to see it as an inconvenience. If you can get to the point where you can be anxious and feel it but brush it off and not let it get to you, not let it climax then you will have beaten it. As someone who has gotten past anxiety I can tell you that it is never truly gone, you will still feel it from time to time but the thing is when you don't let it bother you then it doesn't matter if it's there or not. You can do this you just need the right tools.

    - Relaxation, whatever you need to do to make yourself calm and comfortable
    - Meditation, you may or may not have an opinion on this but trust me it helps a ton
    - Acceptance of reality, you have to acknowledge that you have it and that YOU have to get over it, only YOU can do this
    - Exercise, it helps, especially if you have health anxiety because this will prove to you that you are ok.
    - Change of habits, you have to learn what the triggers are and learn to avoid them OR learn to not fear the result (anxiety) I had to cut out caffeine, cut down sugar, and I had to avoid certain situations where I became anxious, this is temporary, once your system settles down you can ease back into it.

    I have an analogy which is this: Think of your body as a cup, when it is empty you are normal, anxiety is the liquid in the cup. As the cup fills you become anxious as the anxiety continues the cup continues to fill and once it is full it overflows and this is a panic attack, as the anxiety lowers you relax and the cup empties. The emptier your cup is the more you can take and the more anxietyless time you have. I hope that makes sense.
    Every lasting scar shows us what it's taken to be who we are.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by chelle View Post
    I have not met anyone with similar problems and most people would not take me seriously so it gives me hope that I am not the only one. I'm thankful to hear from someone who understands.



    I was not able to get professional help but I had taken your advice and I've felt much better now. I feared my anxiety too much and was so focused on fixing it that I stressed myself. I felt really relieved to hear that this is normal and that being worried is not a bad thing. Currently, I am learning about how to accept my anxiety, learning more about it and accepting my worries.

    Honestly, I cried when I read your post. It was very reassuring. Thank you very much!



    Yes, it is also stressful since it takes time to find our own way to cope our anxious thoughts. Most likely, it will differ from person to person but I know we will be able to accept our anxieties one day. I am also new to this so thank you for the suggestion, I will definitely check out the book.


    I'm really thankful for the replies and I am happy to say that I am learning to accept my anxieties and am learning to live my life without being overly wary of it. But I'm wondering of what next.

    Is it possible to completely get rid of anxiety attacks and its symptoms eventually?
    anxiety is very isolating isnt it? No one wants to talk about it openly, and sometimes people are not sensitive in their response to the person suffering. How are you doing?

 

 

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