Finding the right therapist is like finding the right medication. It's highly unlikely the first one you meet will be right for you. If needs be you'll need to keep searching until you find one who can really benefit you and help you heal like you want to.
Ed
How strong, how costly, the urge to fight our fate and turn back time. But life is meant to be consumed, not preserved to ward off doom. One can surely die from fear, before the end is ever near.
I am so unhappy.... I am considering taking a break from therapy. Nothing is changing, I still after four weeks of having more or less the same conversation, I still have no sense were therapy is going. I know some of you have suggested that I move on and not dwell, but I feel bad because despite the facade of professionalism, my therapist's is a human being with feelings. I don't know. Here I am,again, at my Alma mater, on the computer corresponding with you guys. I do appreciate this forum,but this kind of behavior occupies much of my life. I haven't been on a date in four years. On top of that, I get frustrating by the idea of dating.... I just want to meet somebody I like without all the bullshit. I would like to have intimacy,but I also want to meet someone who could also be my best friend.Originally Posted by raggamuffin
it sounds like you understand the content of what is happening. But it sounds like you desire more process in life. Sounds too bookish and not really ever taken out on a crash course for fear of imperfection or something?
What do you wish would happen? Because your desires are what stear your future. How will you ever change unless you meet new people. That may never happen unless you either join a dating service, do some volunteer work and meet new friends, or return to school , if you are no longer in school. Those are a few examples of how i met my closest friends.
If you keep therapy hunting, you may never deal head on with your issues though. The process of head hunting for a therapist is like avoiding ever having a long term friendship with a few people. Try figuring out your issues and try to take control of your therapy session so that you may address some issues that you feel you need to improve on. I had a therapist who dealt w/ every month as a new issue. We never went backwards. He listened to me as i grew monthly. I saw him for 3 yrs. I did grow emotionally. And then switched insurance and had no choice but to get a new insurance covered trherapist w/ new insurance coverage. Different therapy style, seems like i do more listening than talking now w/ my new therapist but sometimes i do need to Listen Really.
Looking for the right therapist you can trust is as important as doing the same with a GP. Whilst I think there is a valid point to running from ones self ... I fully encourage that you move away those professionals that you think are not helping, as you think they should.
It's only by doing so that you soon discover that either your running or you are not.
Absolutely nothing wrong with moving on. Just be aware of the dynamics - just be aware full stop.
Many are lazy and get complacent in their jobs. You are the one that helps yourself.
Many do not listen as they should and push too much. Many simply do not understand and also in the wrong Job.
I find most people "cling" to what they wrongly quote "MY"Doc. That's the other side of not - changing Jocks/Underwear.
Again - if you feel the need and aware of the pitfalls - Then YES - Move On! Right, Wrong and Blame mean little - You'll eventually learn if your intention is genuine.
Last edited by Ponder; 03-13-2015 at 06:57 PM.
"...the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation" ~ Terrance McKenna → https://pondermovedhere.blogspot.com/
I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. Your situation sounds a lot like mine in that I haven't been on a date or in a relationship for 3 years. I went through a divorce 3 years ago. I basically had to start my life over from scratch and stay with family for a bit as well. I know that I have a lot to work on within myself before I can be in a fulfilling and happy relationship with another person. Perhaps that is what you should do as well? Find your own happiness before getting involved with another person. Starting over from the beginning is a second chance. From what you mentioned, it sounds like you're going to school? When you find yourself a new job, you'll be able to save some money and move out of your parent's home. Things will all start to fall into place. Don't give up on your therapy. Do everything to find your happiness again. I truly wish you the best.
Good advice there
"You're the worst thing that ever happened to me." --Marla Singer
You are fortunate to have or had a therapists who won't look back. I feel like I am laying brick,but have absolutely no idea what the edifice will look like. The purpose of an assignment might be implicit,but I need it to be explicit. She doesn't connect the dots at all!!! I am starting to resent her. I need a therapist who is a battleaxe,but not totally void of empathy. I called this EAP line and a clinician told me that there are therapist like that out there. I understand completely what you wrote about therapy hunting and that is what I am afraid of. I feel like a big loser!!! I have stated this before,but when I share intimate fears and concerns,she just stares at me for what feels like an eternity. By the way, you wrote in a previous response that I read too bookish. What exactly did you mean? Thanks.
I am utterly depressed, it's a subtle depression though, no lying in bed for 24 hours a day. This depression manifest itself like inflammation of a joint only triggered when aggravated. Here I sit in my mid thirties at my alma mater watching Family Ties on Netflix. The last time I kissed a girl was 2011 which means I have had to satisfy my biological imperatives. What compounds this sporadic depression is that despite being a college grad I've never really a career. This means that I have often little or no money.Good advice there
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