I don't even know how to explain what I'm asking here.
Is it possible to have something on the brain so much that it ultimately just doesn't leave your head, sort of like you've conditioned yourself to accept that some thought(s) is there to stay? From my first post here, I didn't want this to happen, to be so anxious about something to the point where it eventually stayed with me all the time. If my anxieties are going to become as ingrained as breathing, occurring all day long, to the point where I my body isn't reacting to them, how can the unconscious ever get rid of those unwanted thoughts?
Sometimes darkness overloads a certain type of personality. My mind never went to those places before, but somehow the darkness got in, and my anxieties let it fester, really fester to the point that it's a permanent fixture these days. Now I feel like a body of water whose thought processes have just permanently polluted it.
Am I now at the point where I've conditioned myself after months of anxiety to accept all this terrible thinking? My body doesn't seem to be reacting to this anymore, which scares me. I want to rid myself of negative thinking, not keep it around.
What do I do now? Lol. My mind is kicking the crap out of me.