About My Brother's Social Anxiety

[Zac Dibble]

I don't personally have social anxiety disorder, however my brother has it severely; almost completely reclusive apart from close family. He is 19 years old, doesn't have a job, and doesn't know how to drive.
Knowing that there are people on here that have/had similar issues, I was looking for any suggestions on how best to approach this situation that would encourage him to follow through with it and in the long run assist him.
My knowledge in this area is non-existent currently.

[NixonRulz]

Sounds like he already in pretty deep. That's the worst part about this. Let it grow too long and it gets more and more difficult to rid yourself of it

He sounds like he needs some therapy to start. Maybe medication and the therapy as a mix . Between the two, they can get him back to a much better state pretty quickly in order to really tackle the issues at hand

[casstar01]

I agree absolutely! He is still young enough that if he gets the right help he can still have a very happy successful life. It's key to get him the right help and for sure the right medication which probably may need to be somewhat stronger than an ssri. I have it as badly as it sounds like your brother does, I tried lots of counselors and livery med under the sun but what has truly changed my life is # 1. A true therapist that specializes in social anxiety disorder and second an anti anxiety med called clonozapam. I can actually talk to those I don't know, socialize, leave the house etc.. It will only get worse as he gets older and it gets harder and harder the longer you live this way and your brain identifies itself in this way. Hope this helps! Always here, casstar

[Zac Dibble]

I agree absolutely! He is still young enough that if he gets the right help he can still have a very happy successful life. It's key to get him the right help and for sure the right medication which probably may need to be somewhat stronger than an ssri. I have it as badly as it sounds like your brother does, I tried lots of counselors and livery med under the sun but what has truly changed my life is # 1. A true therapist that specializes in social anxiety disorder and second an anti anxiety med called clonozapam. I can actually talk to those I don't know, socialize, leave the house etc.. It will only get worse as he gets older and it gets harder and harder the longer you live this way and your brain identifies itself in this way. Hope this helps! Always here, casstar

He's been stuck seeing a behavioral therapist, which frankly hasn't done a thing. They put him on medication which didn't help at all. The medication made him vomit and whenever he expressed this to them, they just gave him a higher dosage and told him to take it at regular times. He is seeking a legitimate therapist though.
I take clonazepam for my panic attacks, so I know what you mean. Only downside to that medication is that it makes me extremely tired when idle.

[JustAnotherMe]

I take clonazepam for my panic attacks, so I know what you mean. Only downside to that medication is that it makes me extremely tired when idle.

Sounds like you have some first hand understanding of the issues he is going through. Although the underlying causes may be different, the end result is going to be the same, anxiety and panic.

From my own personal experiences of dealing with this for the past 14 or so years:

1. Talking about it. I'm not on about talking and expecting to solve it but if there are people he can talk about his emotions and feel comfortable with then it makes it easier to push boundaries. I have friends where they know of my anxiety and accept it. This doesn't mean I will go out with them all the time but I feel okay to tell them I cannot, without getting down. This also means the times I want to push the limits I know they will understand. This is a slow process that will build up over time. But he has you, you are his wingman. Knowing you are not alone is the single best thing with this.

2. Following on from above. You cannot and will not fix things overnight. There is an unrealistic expectation that you can have a revelation and suddenly change. You really cannot. No meds I have taken have "fixed" me overnight. Some do help in certain situations but there will always be times where I just need to bury my head in the sand and hide. This is okay. He is fighting years of negative habits that have built up over time. Eventually he may, or may not, beat it. It is a case of learning to accept who you are. Each victory is to be savoured. Basically it's about understanding not just who you are but WHY you are as you are. And then accepting it.

Finally if a therapist doesn't work, don't be afraid to request another. My first counselor was complete and utter shit. My second was a major turning point my life and the best 2 years of my life in terms of progress.

Good luck to you and your bro. Family is everything.

[casstar01]

He's been stuck seeing a behavioral therapist, which frankly hasn't done a thing. They put him on medication which didn't help at all. The medication made him vomit and whenever he expressed this to them, they just gave him a higher dosage and told him to take it at regular times. He is seeking a legitimate therapist though. I take clonazepam for my panic attacks, so I know what you mean. Only downside to that medication is that it makes me extremely tired when idle.

it sounds like he for sure needs a new therapist. What meds if you don't mind sharing has he been given? Also is the therapist he is seeing one who has had a lot of schooling or more like a 2 year schooling counseler-if that makes sense? Not that there is anything wrong with those counselors it's just that with his level and degree of anxiety he really likely needs a more intense, deeper level of therapy that someone who is well trained in this type of anxiety can give. Which in my case I went years with out change until I began seeing a well trained social anxiety specialist and combined with the right med has so dramatically changed my life. I've seen her for a year or so and am a totally different person then I was when I began seeing her. Which is no small thing. I've had this severe social anxiety/phobia disorder for my entire life, since my first memory and I'm now 33. It takes a very skilled person to help us essentially deprogram our brains from the way we have learned to think, react, behave, and in the way we see ourselves. But simple "talk therapy" is extremely ineffective for severe cases. We need to be taught new skills, techniques , etc.. And really work on them. The correct anxiety med is key because it relieves a great deal of anxiety enough to be able work on overcoming it and pushing outside our comfort zones etc.. It allows us to get the full benefit of the right therapy. Always here, casstar