Hi please help me!
I've always had slight anxiety/compulsive thoughts but lately there out of control and I don't know what to do!
When I was younger it was things like not letting people sit on my bed cause I didn't like creases. Saying my prayers at night but having to blow 20 kisses after (I still do this and i literally can not go to sleep unless I have)
4 years ago however I had a major car crash on the motorway I was. So lucky I wasn't injured but this incident started my anxiety. At first I just couldn't drive on the motorway without having a panic attack understandable?!
But now my anxiety is spiralling out of control! I worry about EVERYTHING to the point I feel sick. We've just brought our first house and I'm constantly on edge that something bad is going to happen, I check the plug sockets over and over again. I'm constantly sniffing for gas. Looking for mould and so on.
I'm convinced ATM I have bed bugs I can't sleep and I'm up all night checking the bed and mattress. Even though someone has been out and said we haven't! I call the gas safe people at all hours cause I'm scared of a gas leak!
I've always managed to hide this but my family are starting to notice. I'm erratic I apes everywhere can't sit still I'm losing weight I have direeah all the time! My doctor said ibs but it's not it's because my adrenaline is constantly on over drive!
I was stood in the kitchen crying today and my poor two year old daughter hugged me and said "what's the matter mummy don't be sad" I should be happy! Life is good I can't stay at home with my daughter we have a lovely home it's Xmas eve and I can't relax or get in to the spirit because I'm so anxious it's starting to effect my family now. I feel so silly. I hate it. How can I enjoy tomorrow for my daughters sake? I hate myself for ruining everything!
I have to drink half a bottle of wine every night just to relax and get some sleep! Any advice pleae x