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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    5

    Trying to get over agoraphobia -going out is making it worse

    Ok.. so I know thats probably a stupid title..

    From the start of last week onwards Ive been trying to get out more..
    Last week I had to drop my son off, and pick him up from nursery 3 times (a 5min drive each way), in addition to this I took him to the park 4 times, maybe 5 (a 10 min walk each way, for little legs anyway!), I also managed to pop to my local shop (5min drive each way) maybe twice.. Then came Saturday and I was really anxious about having to go into Birmingham centre (1 hr 15 drive each way) for a conference thing with a solicitor and a barrister, so the whole weekend was spent in fear. I managed to nip out on Saturday for an hour with my fiance and our son, but that was it as I felt so sick, my belly was hurting and I felt rough in general. Over the weekend I also had that feeling like something awful was going to happen, like impending doom etc!

    Then came Monday.. the minute we hit the busier traffic in Birmingham and I saw all the buildings I felt sick to my stomach and thought I would have to tell my fiance to pull over. I felt weak, my stomach was agony, I felt tired, wobbly, dizzy, and really sick, like sicky in my throat, like I could be sick at any second (does anyone else feel that bad!????). During the conference I was figeting, praying I wouldnt throw up, and about 1.5hr into it I was getting dizzy and feeling horrible.. I managed to stick it out for the 2 hours, but I was one step from running out of there, the second I was back in the car I wanted to go straight home.. again also feeling like I would be sick.

    Monday I took my son to a small shopping centre type thing, I didnt want to go out and just thinking about it made me heave, but I thought I need to do something, and shopping usually takes my mind off things a little.. I felt ill again the whole time, feeling dizzy and the rest of it.. after about 45mins Id somehow managed to get my mind off things and was ok ish (maybe because deep down I knew it was about time to leave as the 1hr paid parking was up), so we went back to the car and then popped in a little shop for bread etc on the way back.
    That night I couldnt stop my mind going, it was like I was plugged into the mains or something, I just felt so uneasy. I told my fiance what was wrong, that I dont feel any better what so ever for going out, and this time he had no comfort for me at all, he just hung his head and ended up walking away. Ive basically worn him down these last 4 years with my constant fears, crying, worrying, upset etc.

    Yesterday I drove 30miles to my parents and Im staying here for a bit (before I end up losing him), but again I had a slight panic attatck on the drive here.

    Today Ive pushed myself out to another retail park (10min drive), had a wander round one shop with my son, i felt panicy but managed it I guess. Then I pushed myself to the supercentre Asda (a further 10mins away), and paniced a bit in there too and didnt managed to go very far into the store, I just stayed near the toys etc close to the doors, which were also by the loos - I need to know where the loos are ALL the time because Im afraid I will be sick, which isnt help by the fact I feel constantly nauseous the last 4 months. 12 Months ago I was managing to do a weekly shop in there, so it just shows how bad Ive got too.


    Anyway (sorry for rammbling), my question is, is this right to feel this way.. the doctor told me to stay in a situation till it gets better, but I cant, I can only manage so much before I have to leave, its not like I run for the door, but I never stay till the panic passes, as it never does pass properly until Im home again.
    I dont feel any better AT ALL for going out, I just feel even more paniced, more on edge and even panicy inside now aswell as out.

    Im worried that things will just get worse and worse, because theres not been a single time over the last year that Ive not been out and not paniced and now things feel the worst theyve ever felt.. Am I just going to end up in an even worse situation that I am now for forcing myself out, Im praying it wont get any worse because Im just about at my absolute limit. Im petrifed that I'll end up going mental and being admitted to a mental ward or something!

    Please let me know what you think.

    Thanks for reading,
    N.

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    13
    I know how you feel. I went through the same types of problems. I would start feeling anxious before leaving my house...and then once out would have anxious feelings, dizzy, racing heart, feelings of impending doom etc.

    A few times I did leave the situation and drove straight home. I did feel better, but I realized that the problem was not solved by running from it.

    Forcing myself to stay, even if it did involve fidgeting, excusing myself to go get water, go to the bathroom etc. helped. The really big thing was reminding myself that I have been in these situations, with the same horrible feelings and nothing bad happened, so nothing bad is going to happen this time. That was key.

    Now when I go out I seem to be able to quickly stiffle the anxiety...sometimes within 5-10 seconds of feeling it coming on.

    Good luck, and keep on fighting! Don't run from it, honest, it will get better.

  3. #3
    Going out gets bad for me too. Sometimes I can go 15 KM away, other times I can't even walk down the block...its weird.

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  4. #4
    Hey i get that when i go to large area's. Just think postive say to your self (Nothing is going to happen to me) im the best no one will stop me.
    As soon as you think negative it will start again.
    Try to go out with friends to a park or over some ones house.
    Then when u achive this give your self a big pat on the back.
    The key is to always think postive.
    Eat and drink well.
    Be strong you can do it.
    Try to sit as still as you can ( This is extreamly hard ) But if you can do it the anxiety should decrease.
    Think of your hobbies E.G (wonder how the red sox's will play today)
    Set your self goals.
    Try to right down every thing that happened on the day, both negative and postive eg (Wow that really hot chick looked at me twice today)...
    Negative Eg ( Bad attack )
    I believe you can do it.. But you have to believe it too for it to work, it will be a long and rough road a head but stay postive and you'll be the winner.
    Good luck mate.

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  5. #5
    i think a major source for my agoraphobia is when i look at the sky and think of all the mysteries of life

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  6. #6

    Hi

    I know exactly how you feel, anxiety is easy to get rid of, I know you may be thinking yeah right... but ive been through it, and i had the same thinking, that it's just going to keep coming back....

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  7. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    3
    Hey I had anxiety for 3-4 years .. But i dont have kids to take to school or anything like big journeys for conferences, one thing that helped my fear was breathing ( 7-11 ) tecnique. and lets just say .. im at the drs or dentist or shopping mall in need of a weekly shop and i panic.. yes 90% of the time Id run right out of there but with breathing tecniques , whilst i did that I always said stuff to myself like " come on dont panic , ur just in a shopping mall.. whats so scary about that? " or " u need to be here so just be strong and dont be silly and panic ( i,.e drs /dentist ) " and apart from the fact my breathing healped alot sometimes it just wouldnt do the trick alone so my thoughts helped too, kind of made me feel stronger like " im being silly, i will beat this " and if NOTHING helped.. then i would make conversaton with the checkout person and that always took my mind off panickin lol.

    plus when i panicked i got stomach aches due to ibs. so now i can go out and think , - yeah theres alot of ppl around but they wont hurt me.. theres a toilet over there ( usually 1 in most shopping malls ) if really needed , BUT i only get stomach aches when i panic.. So if i calm down there is no need for one. so all i really needed to do was find a way to calm down and i found that.

    ok i have yet to travel miles from home so can understand why you would be scared there, Maybe u were scared because it was far away from your comfort zone, I mean not just a 5min trip home. and if u panic in a mall far from home you will panic in a mall even close to hom because it the same thing . i panicked on a bus 4 yrs ago and never caught one since.

    people kept telling me what the dr tells you, to keep doing what ur doing. i didnt believe it would help me as i was doing just that for years lol. but my diff is i have to walk to shops or malls lol. in the end i gave myself the biggest scare with my bf moving in with me which odv drove my anxiety away i guess. but now if i ever feel it coming bk i just jump on a bus or go into town and tell myself its all in my head.. im being silly and i wont let it control me again.

    i dont know what to suggest but tryin the 7-11 breathing in really hard situations.. and just tell urself ur being silly.. look around and ask yrself.. what am i scared of? what should i be scared of? prob not alot in a conference its a small room with a lot of people though.. a conference scares anyone without anxiety tbh LOL. but u have yr fiance there.. and im sure there wud be ppl there that wud understand if u said u was scared or were panicking. its hard to say you would not be trapped if u had to stay there for 2 hrs but all i can say is try to have fun, relax.. and tell urself ur being silly. when i panicked all my partner said to me was " its all in ur head " rofl.. ye now i see that

    im sorry if this doesnt help, im just sharing my experiance and how i recovered from mine someone else explaining bout breathing and thous was how it helped mine

    good luck

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by ken_sk_ca View Post
    I know how you feel. I went through the same types of problems. I would start feeling anxious before leaving my house...and then once out would have anxious feelings, dizzy, racing heart, feelings of impending doom etc.

    A few times I did leave the situation and drove straight home. I did feel better, but I realized that the problem was not solved by running from it.
    I experience the same as well. So many appointments being canceled just because I can't make myself leave the house. I really need to push myself to get better. I want to be normal again. I wish everyone can understand what I am going through and my normal friends can have a taste of this anxiety & feeling of impending doom so they all know what I'm dealing with.

  9. #9
    “going out is making it worse”, what does that mean?

  10. #10
    I can relate to this ill be slightly anxious before get ready and my son ready and i can be walking and feel like a hit a brickwall of panic. And i feel all those sensations you do and it worrys me more because my toddlers there so ill go home. Sometimes i can go further and other days not leave the front garden....you are so brave and strong the journeys you are doing try keep at it x

 

 

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