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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
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    1

    Self Harm Thoughts

    So lately I've been having thoughts, like little movies in my head, of me harming myself (non-fatally). Sometimes I'm taking too many pills; sometimes I intentionally trip downstairs; sometimes I walk out in front of a moving car. I also sometimes imagine cutting off my excess body fat with meat trimmers. The most pervasive is of me cutting my wrists, always the non-deadly way, and watching them bleed. I keep squeezing out the blood until I'm woozy. The goal of these "fantasies" is never to feel pain or kill myself, but to create a numbness. Has anybody else had this problem? I also have very gruesome nightmares. Two nights ago I dreamed my scalp was covered with sores and it was peeling up with my hair. I've also had a few sexual assault dreams and a violent abortion dream (I'm not pregnant). How do I deal with this? I don't want to act on any of it, but I have done some minor cutting in the past (shallow cuts, thin instruments, over preexisting scars) so falling prey to it doesn't seem outside the realm of possibility. When I think about it, I get a tingle in my wrist and sometimes I even act it out with my fingernail, not breaking skin. The images are getting more pervasive and I'm scared. I can't see a therapist until November 8. For background info, I have Panic Disorder and GAD. I've been talking a low dose of sertraline (Zoloft) for about four months. It was successful until about two weeks ago.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    USA - Florida
    Posts
    1,548
    Quote Originally Posted by flopmonkey View Post
    So lately I've been having thoughts, like little movies in my head, of me harming myself (non-fatally). Sometimes I'm taking too many pills; sometimes I intentionally trip downstairs; sometimes I walk out in front of a moving car. I also sometimes imagine cutting off my excess body fat with meat trimmers. The most pervasive is of me cutting my wrists, always the non-deadly way, and watching them bleed. I keep squeezing out the blood until I'm woozy. The goal of these "fantasies" is never to feel pain or kill myself, but to create a numbness. Has anybody else had this problem? I also have very gruesome nightmares. Two nights ago I dreamed my scalp was covered with sores and it was peeling up with my hair. I've also had a few sexual assault dreams and a violent abortion dream (I'm not pregnant). How do I deal with this? I don't want to act on any of it, but I have done some minor cutting in the past (shallow cuts, thin instruments, over preexisting scars) so falling prey to it doesn't seem outside the realm of possibility. When I think about it, I get a tingle in my wrist and sometimes I even act it out with my fingernail, not breaking skin. The images are getting more pervasive and I'm scared. I can't see a therapist until November 8. For background info, I have Panic Disorder and GAD. I've been talking a low dose of sertraline (Zoloft) for about four months. It was successful until about two weeks ago.
    In the meantime:

    1800 334 HELP

    1800 273-TALK

    1800 DONT CUT

    www.selfinjury.com
    Last edited by Im-Suffering; 10-15-2014 at 11:34 AM.

 

 

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