I haven't posted in a while but my anxiety issue has exceeded the point of control again.
I am currently living in a third world country teaching English to various ages of students (young children to adult). The country I am living in has a very tragic history (including genocide, political instability, etc.). The social behavior of the people here puts little value on privacy and (in all honestly) there is a very unstable side to the people.
I think the dysfunction here is really beginning to destroy my mind. I am very concerned for my health and the fact that I am having trouble even getting through the teaching day. The students and other teachers are also reacting to this.
I am very scared. If I can't continue teaching I will need to leave the country (and go back to a much less opportune situation in my home country).
It's a real bad situation and there isn't the level of medical care (or even general understanding of the population of basic mental health issues) which can act as a buffer.
I have been loading up on benzodiazepenes to get through the days recently. I had also tried (again) a few of the anti-anxiety SSRIs and trycyclics (to no avail).
I am trying to take every opportunity between working hours to sleep (and therefore preserve the strength of my mind).
I don't know what else to do. I feel like I am going completely mad sometimes.