Down, down, down.

[krs2013]

I'm now taking the right steps to cope with my anxiety and my depression by going to this day hospitalization program. I am also on medication, but I just feel that the quality of life for me is like, gone. I feel more alone than ever at times and my dad thinks it's funny to trigger my anxiety..(I have an immense fear of driving) and I've taken a lot of steps towards recovery. yet, I feel that I don't have a strong support network and I feel like an empty faucet on the inside. Like I have nothing in me left. I'm trying so hard though.. I don't know. Help.

[Kixxi]

Hi krs2013,

I am so sorry you are going through this. I feel for you... I been through something similar and when my anxiety was at its worst I also felt like my life had gone from bad to worse. Sometimes I didn't come out of bed at all. But, there is light at the end of the tunnel. All I can tell you is that my anxiety and depressing thoughts went down. It was no one thing solution though, but every little thing helps.

As for your support network. I honestly think it is unacceptable for someone to trigger your anxiety attacks. It is definitely no laughing matter. You should NOT be ashamed of your condition and you deserve to be taken seriously. I definitely take you seriously and will provide you with as much help as I can give you. You can get the support network you desperately need here. Do you think you can talk to your father or have a medical professional talk to him about how serious anxiety is and how it can control your life?

I know you feel so powerless because of your condition right now but you will get better. If someone like me can do it, you can do it for sure. If you want to ask me something or you want some tips on some specific anxiety or depression symptoms, do ask me and I'll help you any way that I can. Although I am not a doctor or psychologist, I can give you advice speaking from my experience.

And don't forget these things which I believe with all my heart:
- You suffer from anxiety and depression, this means you are a very brave person for trying to get a hold of your problems. You are facing it head on so you are braver then most.
- You will get better. It takes practice and support, which many people here can give you.
- You deserve to be happy and you will be. Anxiety and depression will not control you any-more. You took the step to this forum, and this is good.

[krs2013]

Thank you for your reply. You are truly a blessing and can seriously relate to what I'm going through. It honestly hurts like hell to live this way, but I'm looking at everyday and seeing it as a new endeavor that I will overcome. Thank you so much for your compassion and reaching out to me in this way, it means a lot more than you know. At this moment, I feel that I am all alone in this world in my anxiety, but because of my support group and THIS forum with hundreds of people, it gives me hope that there are ones out there that GET it.. that REALLY get, and not just act like they get it ya know? I think I'll talk to my dad about that.

[Kixxi]

I'm glad my words gave you some hope. I know it can be so difficult without a good support system, definitely when you struggle with something so scary. But it will get better and you will live your life to the fullest It is just our brain playing tricks on us and eventually we take control back. You made a good step by talking to your dad. If your worried about it, you can always ask someone to back you up And if you need to talk, feel free to contact me any time.

[Daffodil]

I am so sorry to hear that you feel ashamed and your Dad thinks it funny. Perhaps,he thinks this is the way to help you get rid of your fear? People who never had anxiety just cannot understand the torment and self doubt. I have walked the same path as you and I can tell you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Keep doing all you can to get better, and keep your mind busy with positive thoughts, fun activities, friends and good self help books that will encourage you.

[Dorriekeepson23]

krs2013, I too am very sorry to hear what you have written. I applaud the others for their chose of words to you though, and second that myself. I too, have been where you are. I have a good family now, and awesome kids, and I never thought I would have that. But there was a time in my younger years, that I visited the hospital about four different times, I believe. And it wasn't the part of the hospital for a broken leg!!! I thought I couldn't get over the deep depression I was in, and I had lost my mind. There was a time, I couldn't get behind the wheel of a car. I would have to leave the grocery store, right in the middle of shopping,, groceries in the cart and all!!, and just leave. I promise you, if you want at least some freedom from it, and fight hard enough, you can overcome some of it. Maybe all of it. But definitely some. A huge part, you just did. Writing in, and having others help you. Give you advice. I'm not telling you to quit doing what you are. But if something isn't working... well IDK??? I have found, for myself anyways, that I have received more help from other people who suffer from the same issues I do, than from going to someone and talking to them who hasn't. No, I am not saying going to a therapist is wrong. I've done it before, and got help. I'm saying there is a special connection you can get from another, who has or is feeling the very same way you are. I accidentally got pregnant at a very early age. In the very early years of my childs life, I had to have help from other's, due to my depression and anxiety. But that child is what always made me get better. When I would have a horrible episode, I would close my eyes, and see his face, and tell myself how much he needed me. And somehow I got better. Your father obviously has some issues of his own for doing that to you, but I would encourage you to try that at least. Try and think of something, someone who does see you for a whole lot more than he does. Even if it's just people on this site. Close your eyes, and tell yourself..."I do matter to someone. There are people that love me, need me, care about me." You know, you have no idea how much you help ANOTHER, just by sharing what your going through. Because someone else is hurting just like you. I just want to encourage you any way I can. I didn't have a father. I had a chronic alcoholic!! But there are other people out there who love you. You're not here by mistake. Dig down deep, and fight as hard as you can. I had to. I'm here for you, should you ever need to talk, vent, whatever. I care!!! I hope you feel better soon. Take care, D.