Welcome to the Anxiety Forum - A Home for Those with Anxiety, Fear, or Panic Attacks.
Page 3 of 106 FirstFirst 123451353103 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 1060
  1. #21
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    6,205
    Last post; it is easy to meditate with so much water around....

    Doctors.....they just send my hubby home with blocked veins and told him, they can do nothing....

    My GP abused me a few times, (I am terrified of that bitch) because I said I am not going to take Trozadone, I think, because i could not breathe taking it. Eman told me that they are sulfa and I am allergic to it. She has it on my Record Sulfa and ASA in ten cm letters. When i said no to Celexa she was furious. I thought she is going to throw me out... it is very difficult here to get family doc, the one who can write prescription...eh

    I am happy that you are improving Dave, just ***ck all the others. It must be easier in place like that. I hope your wife is feeling better...
    Last edited by Dahila; 01-26-2014 at 07:15 PM.
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  2. #22
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    6,877
    __________________________________________________ _________________________
    _____________________________________
    ____


    Yea, thanks guys. Much appreciated. I still have some ways to go. Dahila - with regards to the context of "Last Post" and the mention of it, I ponder on that? So having now finally logged back into my Flickr Account, all I can say, is I still feel the need to continue on in the manner as I have previously done in the posts before that. Doing so is what enables me to later open up in the manner that knows know judgment - yet the process regardless of taste, should always be sort in order to let go. So it is that perhaps obscure in my previous expressions, that I am in fact grateful for all that you say and your continued support. I'm getting there - but more bumps will ensue as I continue embarking on what I must. The weight is dropping, however I am unable to avoid all these feelings and must once again - express as I must. I don't know any of these people on a personal level that I yell and scream about - but none the less, if allowing myself space in which to involuntary flinch, wince and grunt enables the rest of me to keep moving; then so I must. The practice itself is rather therapeutic, revealing much of what simmers beneath. Writing like so -> for now -> is my Valve.


    I have really come to believe in much of the stuff I have gleaned. That our true natures are layered in the world's residual pain and that the more we seek to individualize and identify with all these things and symbols we seek, the more we add to ours and others pain. I know I am repeating myself again, however talking like this is much more directed with clarity and intent for me. All that bliss, purpose and pursuits I rave on about is that damn layering of our true selves and is as destructive a force as man and machines destroying Nature itself. Human Nature reinvented without stability only to be managed with synthetics & drugs.

    The very definition of most of these psychological Imbalanced Predispositions is insanity itself! The blame on individualism is nothing short of a cop out to Society's Responsibility, to make change itself. This brings me back to Western Ideals to which I shall not seek to Bore or Insult those already so wrapped in blissful life's coaching/imprinting - flavored with sugar and spice - One day, I shall eventually find a comparison to show up such ideals for the sickness it truly is that can not go unheard. OH Yes - I shall Move On - but whilst doing so, I will never turn a blind eye to such disgrace. ...and to think with what Grace humanity dares to Condemn, both this Planet and all it's inhabitants! Tully a disgrace to call oneself Human! All based on BS promises, beyond an already costly & so sort after, supposed Utopian Civilization -> that if one can only keep on pursuing, that yet; Another Kingdom Awaits. What selfish fucking pricks!
    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _________

    OK - that was not so bad was it? No polishing allowed (edited for a more readable piece) - stands as is I'm afraid - or am I afraid - was I afraid - Narrrrr _ I was just mad, but controlled it enough for this space.
    Man made Fear - yes, I guess I am fearful as is the basis for human thinking - think not to think.

    Thank You to Admin whomever you are - for allowing me to sort through this shit. Much appreciated. For this, I remain much more able to respond to however you choose to admonish in whatever way you deem fit.

    __________________________________________________ ___________________________

    Today is the Day for both the Mental health community check in that I emplaced on myself, then the doctors visit after that. SIGH!!!! Man oh man - it's so hard not to ponder on that one without exacerbating it further than I already have, but then again, had I not brought it up in the fashion I did - for sure - I don't think I would of got off the hook so easily a second time. I already have a few messages left about the place for some kind of advocacy and support regarding these interactions that so clearly send me over the edge.

    I mean come on! See how easily some of us can talk and express in these threads, forums and online places - but how quick for all our advise and the screwing back on of lids, that when out and about - WOW - man oh man! Then comes the handcuffs quick - both metallic and chemical. If only some of us could just be listened too more, than Told or Dismissed - I know I can stabilize and or reintegrate on a level not so threatening or one sided based with words such as compliance. Sigh Sigh - Always has to feel like some kind of fight, and to which I should, instead be letting go - in order to step aside as the Zen masters do and use to defeat such odds, by taking such stride to let what must fly as they seem to effortless keep standing the way they do! Yep - That is the shit we need to take on board, with maybe a few herbs. LOL hahahhaaaaaaaaaaa. So True - So True.

    __________________________________________________ __

    hmmmmmmmm - Photoshop finally re-installed. Did yet another awesome sweat session yesterday on the treadmill - so still pushing there. Must ease up on that with two back to back sessions so far. Huge day driving into town twice with both stressful events. Must get everything in place for my wife before leaving and take her mobile. Will take something to read - be sure to be well watered and fed. Must take along note book for the info I can get on first visit to mental health services. Going to be nervous as hell hooking up with some group, but that I must!

    Peace Out.
    Dave.
    Last edited by Ponder; 01-27-2014 at 03:57 PM.

  3. #23
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    6,877
    __________________________________________________ ______________________________________
    _____________________________
    _
    Morning Guys


    waiting by L_Plate_Dave, on Flickr

    Thanks Frankie. I survived that day and now ready for another. I got up at 4.00am to see what rays I could catch. Unfortunately I only have experience with bush photography and am unaccustomed to the beach and coastal shooting not too mention sun rise and sets. As first light arrived before the sun appeared itself, it was evident that capturing the ball of light as I wished was not going to eventuate. Instead I sat for a bit in my new piece of kit watching both the ocean, as too the sun there as pictured above. Too me, I notice like an eels head with open mouth regarding the shape of cloud blocking sun. Within moments the clouds shifted to reveal what I thought be, my mornings opportunity for a sun rise shot as good I could given conditions and all.


    Late Sunrise by L_Plate_Dave, on Flickr

    Now I note that same eels head transformed into a like a sperm whale with a marsh mellow sitting on its forehead above its mouth, or maybe a Buddhist Long Horn, if not for the lower jaw of the whale? Anyways - If I were to note something of worth regarding my shots, not meaning to detract from the romance some may bring; is that whilst I still obviously have to get back my zen with regards to in camera settings - I much prefer keeping them as natural as can be. Truth is, this is not how I saw the sun at that time. I only mention this as I am BIG on relaying what is really to be seen. In fact - whilst I am not the most versed on having a large vocabulary, I would much rather paint with words. I can install software onto my camera later as previously I did and I have already worked out how to bracket my exposures in stock mode as it is, however HDR - photography imo is so over done that now even when watching documentary I now often wonder what the real dynamic range would be like if indeed I was there to see for myself. All movies are now have their colors and contrast shot right up as if filming a whole day through what would otherwise be known as the Golden Hour.

    Hard to explain - but this over indulging has kind of cheapened such moments, that when they come - it's like dissatisfaction unless now everything is shown in it's full glory 24/7. Very much ties in with all that perfection and pursing and betterment. Perhaps - quaint that I should be without putting anything up as spectacular as I dislike - I'm all for perfection but not overly so - perhaps perfection is to capture what one really sees, as opposed to creating what everyone and self wants . Yea - something like that. For instance - here the following I take of my new chair. It's an awesome chair by the way - less the a killo or thereabouts with a weight capacity of 145KG/320lbs. Anyways - Contrast, sharpness and perfect light is all devoid as is any of these "snaps shots" - thing with photography is expressing with variables such as position, eye line, height, distance, subject and all that kind of stuff. That kind of thing can be interesting and fun to master I guess. Keeps me grounded at any rate: I'll get the setting right further down the track - I like shooting manual for some insane reason. Keeps me on my toes I guess - will on occasion switch to AV and shutter from time to time.

    MY NEW CHAIR - Best Friend second to the Sun.


    Chair by L_Plate_Dave, on Flickr

    On a lighter Note - this chair will enable me to stay out much longer, not to mention the perspective I can get to just rest up and take it all in. When it comes to picking the lightest weight chair that has the biggest comfort factor plus capacity to hold an elephant - Such has been my quest for many a year. So far this chair is the best one IMO. Refereed to as the Helinox One

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nbBAkw7i_4

    Previous to this I was using an Alite Monarch Butterfly Chair which is only like 600grams, however you have to keep pressure on your front two feet and its lower to the ground. The Helinox One really allows you to take the preasure of your legs and kick back a little to actually relax. It's not perfect, but for an ultralight weight lounge chair - that you can take anywhere - It's the Best! Not exactly cheap - but a very good investment that will keep one going much longer, than having no seat at all. I like this in the review. Like me, he's looked around and needs one that can handle some weight!

    OK - moving on - as you can see, the tide is about in now with me having had to move my camera gear a little back - but there I sat some before heading back home. GET THIS - so focused was I on ariving early to see what would be out there or not - that when I finally packed up to leave, I then realized why some people were looking at me weird - No I was not paranoid - for in my haste leaving house when I did - I had put my DAMN wife's frilled neck top on!!!!!! I mean COME ON! Not again - I got over yesterday to now have the rising sun to reveal me for the flaming idiot I be. LOL - "quick man - get your shit together and get back to the car ASAP! - My GOD HOW EMBARRASSMENT!"

    But one last snap before I go - As is I saw with a little more decent contrast now on offer with a touch of sharpening. I like rolling around in it when a touch choppy like this. Only about 15 meters or so out - not many people seem to bath in it like so, but that's something I intend to do a lot more often for simply health sake. Now I got that chair I can pretty much set up to do most things in comfort. I was able to carry 1.5 liters of water = that chair in the little hydro pack pictured above on back of chair.

    Take Care Guys -


    High Tide by L_Plate_Dave, on Flickr

    PS - I can't wait till I find an awesome Hammock spot - do a camp and maybe share with you some other cool gadgets for getting about light.
    Adios.
    Last edited by Ponder; 01-28-2014 at 04:22 PM.

  4. #24
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    6,877
    I got to say, "I really needed that!" After this mornings effort down by the beach, I have to say I feel a thousand percent better. It was not so much a case, of another step in the journey of getting somewhere, but more so about finding myself already being there. All too often I forget that when I post "I'm getting there". I really don't have any kind of routine as such - not yet anyways. I've been thinking I'm about ready to change my afternoon runs to mornings now - not sure how I will mix that with my morning retreats to the beach. For now, I will just have to beach it with the sun a little higher.

    My plan is to survey the beaches edges for a reasonably isolated spot to hammock it for a night. Will go as light as I can for that escape. Seems there is very little that is not owned when it comes to the sand. I'll blend in like the insects! Be a while before I can go. At least until my wife's legs mends. will spend that time taking out some gear to see just how light I can go. Will try to pick a spot close by, so as to taxi some water before landing for the night.

    That's about it for now - hopefully I will be well enough to start my runs in tomorrow morning. Although I had a session today, I did take it easy as my body told me so. Yawnssss ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Still breathing - that's always good! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz z
    __________________________________________________ ___________________________________________

    Another Day Done!

  5. #25
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    6,205
    Hi Dave, all pics are awesome, but I want the last one. Send me please that one. It is exactly the spot , i see when I am meditating) Incredible to see it exactly in tone and color .... beautiful... I think it would be much easier to control the anxiety in that place. You are getting there, )
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

  6. #26
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    6,877
    Morning Dahila.

    This particular shot is more suited for the size currently displayed above in my previous post, however I did make an attempt to desktop it, keeping the tone and sharpness as close to the original during the resizing process. Lucky I kept the original Raw File.

    Thing is, I did not have my best lens on for the Job. With regard to camera settings, My Iso should of been lower to give less grain. And most of all which is quite hard when using a low Iso, I should of used a Larger Aperture. Freezing motion under low light conditions is quite hard. It's not too bad though as the shot itself has a lot gong on in it. The wave that is in focus that starts at the left of desktop screen has a nice swirl atop of it as too mid screen where that same wave evens out. I like the Grey Feeling to this one as it was also my pic from many more I shot that morning. I always loved the feeling of an incoming storm to which this was more just the ominous presence than anything else. The sensory perception that can be felt in this photo is not everyone's cup of tea, however the fact that you can feel it, pleases me. Despite the flaws on a technical level, your interest in it, has heightened this snap all the more for me, and now resides on my desktop for the time being.

    Try the following Link & instructions:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/7198879...12833/sizes/o/

    1. Scroll page so that you can see "Photo/All Sizes"

    2.Under that - below "All rights reserved" (which should be removed - I want to share all that I have!) Click the "Download The original size of this photo" link.

    If my account is still pro? You should be able to download from that - and it should be of the new Size -> 1920X1080 which I did up for you this very morning. Depending on the size of your desktop, you may have to go into your desktop settings to "center" + "Keep aspect ratio" ...however for most of today's screen (2014) - it should sit squarely across it.
    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _____________

    I'll work on getting some Tac Sharp images once I can deal with motion more adequately under such low light conditions. For now though - lets just enjoy the scene.
    Last edited by Ponder; 01-29-2014 at 01:57 PM.

  7. #27
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    6,877
    Damn it - my pro account has expired. Doh.

    Please do confirm whether you are able to download at Desktop Size (as per instructions above) - 1920X1080.

    Alternatively you could right click on the photo itself at above link and select from the mouse menu -> "set as desktop background!" However I believe you will need an internet connection at all times for it to be displayed from that point. I'd Download if you can - is only about 400k.

    TY.
    Last edited by Ponder; 01-29-2014 at 01:56 PM.

  8. #28
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Indiana, USA :)
    Posts
    5,670
    Dude.....we're all here for ya bruh!!!...

    E-Man...
    I made a sock puppet,..and liked it. SO THEN I JUST TOOK A PILL.
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  9. #29
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    6,877
    Yea thanks Chris -

    Very Kind of you. How you been feeling man? I mean apart from supporting others dude. What you got going on. Crunching many obstacles and or just gliding by? I'm still chipping away at that first comeback wall with regards to my exercise. In fact, it's time to go and hit the mill about now for myself.

    Nice to see you pop in!

    Nature-Man... LOL

  10. #30
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    6,205
    Quote Originally Posted by Ponder View Post
    Yea thanks Chris -

    Very Kind of you. How you been feeling man? I mean apart from supporting others dude. What you got going on. Crunching many obstacles and or just gliding by? I'm still chipping away at that first comeback wall with regards to my exercise. In fact, it's time to go and hit the mill about now for myself.

    Nice to see you pop in!

    Nature-Man... LOL
    Sorry I am replying with the quote Eman) hi, but othewise I can not log into my account while in work.

    I know about left click and download, and as long as it is here, I do not think I need constant internet connection , my comp is on pernamently so no sweat. Thank you so much , I am not familiar with flicr , please register again ))) I visit you there, often
    ''“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
    ''
    ― Rabindranath Tagore

 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •