WARNING Content ->Raw Emotion - My head space and Check List.

[Ponder]

No need to quote me in here Loveu088.

Have you had much therapy that relates to the experiences you endured at the New life centre?

[Tones]

The whole lot should be in jail. Annie and Michael Wrigley included. Daily spitting and hitting us kids. Fuck the whole lot of em. Soz for yrs later reply only just found thread.

[Ponder]

Hi Tones, not a problem whatsoever Tones.

Someone was bound to write about it and others find it. Please do feel free to write whatever you want in here and say it however you wish. That's exactly why I created this thread.

Always nice to meet others that understand only too well, yet hope we can all find a way to easy the suffering that was in no way escapable for us kids in that home and during that time. It went on for far too long.

Indeed it was the ultimate in toxicity which resulted in many short lived lives. Those left are often referred to as survivors.

Please to feel free to respond and once again say whatever you wish.

Glad you found us.

[Ponder]

I understand if you would rather leave it be - but again welcome you to say whatever.

Your post has prompted with and now with the advice of my wife to also give an update as to the result of all those having come forward:
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I'm reluctant about making this public as I don't want to encourage false claims and any being made will face scrutiny and be cross examined and the process itself is actually quite brutal for those who have survived. Anyone who came out unscaved is extremly lucky.

ANYWAYS - The compensation that has already come about was largely resultant from this thread which ended up being private matter sort with solicitors between myself and other survivors that had come forward. That time has past and gone. I am truly sorry if you were a victim and only just reading now.

HOWEVER with that said, I do believe there is still an opportunity whereby you can access the following scheme as a survivor of past child sexual assault.

That said, I see this revelation as a double edge sword as whilst I was (unfortunately) privy to certain perverted acts, the hierarchy of abuse itself is extremely damaging to those who suffered more mentally and physically. In fact I rate the physical abuse done in The New Life Center and whatever else it was later called as just as damaging if not MORE than being fondled. That's not to dismiss that pain that others later feel when endorsed to feel a certain way. During the time of the act I can make a case where to being beating rather than fondles is more detrimental. Not unless of course you were raped and thus beaten during the act. The same mental degradation from being intimidated during the phase of grooming is in now way different from either Perversion Vs being beaten AND OR just being spat on are regular intervals.

AGAIN - That said - it is what it is - If you can make a case re Sexual Events or even just being Groomed with even being physically touches, you could make a case via the following scheme:

THE NATIONAL REDRESS Yes - that centre was actually supported by Government Handouts. Not just the church. The nightmare was actually government funded to a large degree. If you fit the category required of the Nation Redress - then you have that option still - if you wish.

BUT in no way should anyone feel less for not fitting into this narrow minded handout, (The category no doubt tragic in its own right) as those that lived through the hell hole known at the New Life Centre who were only beaten and spat at - will take the hierarchy of abuse as just being spat on again. Is what it is. The process is brutal despite any successful payout and the money itself is not enough to heal. Those truly affected will see that money spent from just a few months to a few years. In the end you are still left with Self.

HOWEVER, talking about it has really helped me. I also think it has helped others.
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Sorry if any of that sounded disrespectful - I say what I said out of respect for both the dead and those who where never actaully sexaully penatrated. I think it is very damaging that there is not enough acknowledgement for all the other forms of abuse. The above scheme whilst not solely based on Church involvement, was oriingialy concvieded from the amount of sexually abuse under vairous religious groups. Whilst the scheme appears to be done in good will, what has actually followed is a mass of survivors welling up with all kinds of abuse. Long story short as I have probably not explained to well (apologies again to those who fit the sexual category) is that the process and existence of the scheme has inadvertently invalided many by means of what was become to known as the Hierarchy Of Abuse. That being as toxic as the Hierarchy of Today's Society.

Sigh - and Phew. It does help though to get that out. Truth is that those who were not so deeply touched in the most perverted of ways, most certainly were later on. For me ... still in my youth.

Alas ... I am reminded of a phrase I was came up that still suits. In the end in the only one that can give us compensation is ourselves.

I hope any or some of this may help and once again srry if it came out the wrong way.

PLEASE do feel free to respond. There is no specially group or category - we are all the same.

EDIT - Think more the above being a political response rather than any form inner healing. My struggle with it may not be the same as others. Talking about it will do more than money. That is all.

[Tones]

Thanks Ponder for replying. I remember a chess piece left out b4 school n no1 owned up to doing it so June lined the 20 odd of us kids up n belted us 1 by 1. Food thrown on our plates. Drugged constantly. We are part of the Forgotten Australians. But no help as it was emotional n physical abuse sooooo as far as they see if we didnt and still dont have issues from it. Made to feel like garbage wen they were suppose to be caring for us. Punching bags dont get a redress as we didnt really get hurt! Fuck u cunts for making us feel like we did something wrong. Fucken government is the ones that should be accountable as they subsidised the home. We would have been there if they had paid the home to stay open. Its time Forgotten Australians took a stand n made the government accept their part in our abuse.

[Ponder]

You are most certainly welcome Tones.

Yes that sounds definitely spot on with everything you just said. Especially the part about being lined up. Looking back now, I believe the tension that comes from waiting in line to be dealt with was as addictive as the drugs Juney was taking. Sadly those pills did not help her or anyone else. The whole lining up thing was part a parcel of the psychological torture. June really had not recovered since after her days in the psych ward. If I was not a victim myself I would find it all a fascinating story. Did you know she also ended up killing herself and was herself a victim to paster fullwood. Anne is Paster Fullwoods daughter. I wonder who Pastor Frank Fullwood was victim too?

Yes being so called medicated in that hole only made it easier to enact the nightmare. The way in which things were dished out was very much reflected in the way the table we set. That dinner table was the gravity well were a most of the trauma took place. Not sure how much you have read and this is getting like a book - but my sister was dragged around like a mistreated doll from the bench across and across the dinning room floor. It goes on from there. I can already tell I don't need to tell you any more.

Absolutely right about duty of care. Punching bags also A+++++ on the terms. Yes the Government had wound up adding to the problem by ignoring the abuse and the dead with it's sole focus only on sexual abuse and even in that they dares to caulated it Penetrated or Not!

Allow me to tell you about the FUCKWIT name Peter Lucas. Him Being the accounted the handled the Quest Care Case. He mostly dealt with my sister at the beginnings of this proceedings and once he got to talking with me - become somewhat combative with my stance on Physical and Emotional abuse ever being in the Arena of Vs. I was like all over the fact that they had no right to even dare quantify the suffering of anyone that had survived. Anyways long story short he is the one that comes up with "Oh well - You weren't penetrated. That's just the way it's quantified. Were' now going on the same calculations of the Royal Commission's Assessments." Two things here - I could not beleive the way he just spoken to me and his choice of words. What he did was throw words back in my face that I have previously used but failed to recognize it was not his position or right to be so coy. Secondly we were taking action separate to any government claims which meant that this privatisation approach could in fact account for impact over the act.

Unfortunately Act over Impact meant that you get all these people who for many were very much functional (also stated by one of the claimants in this thread) now all of a sudden crying non functional. This is how I came up with the concept of 'enrosed suffering' People with homes, cars and jobs now claiming how affected they are. Thus my take on Fondle Vs Beating. Lucas hated me and it showed. What he claims later in an article I just found is quite incorrect. Lucus conveniently gets a lot of things wrong. He really fucked with my head and the process very well nearly killed me.

I apologise I seem to be raving on. I'm also doing my best to fill you in on everything. I hate everything about society not just because of what we went through but also because of how it handles things like this and ignores the truth with respect to real cost. The hierarchy of abuse is to carpmenatilse everything. This story has nothing to do with the Government responses.

I link you to the article I only just now found that details his final thoughts on this case:
https://www.pressreader.com/australi...81663961401314

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I copy and paste something else I wrote after reading that article just to set that record straight. You can NEVER trust anything you read in the press.

Copy Paste:

During the 1990s a couple of the women and younger ladies got together and complaints WERE made but for whatever reason later withdrawn. I believe it was not long after this that June killed herself.

The New Life Center/Quest Care did not shut down in the 1990s – They closed their doors just after I started yelling and screaming in this here thread and several over survivors joined in as well. In fact, early on in this thread one of their own staff members comes forward. I did not respond well and considered her involvement in my thread an intrusion.

My wife helped me looking into all kinds of articles to find the truth about the center. We started pulling online documents from Quest cares website and went far back into the web archives. We investigated the fuck out of it. It was then that quest care shut down as well did their website.

Pastor Frank Fullwood also had a website where he used to discuss his findings re controlling techniques with troublesome boys. It was around this same time that his website was also shut down. That fucker has ‘The Order of Australia’ award to this day even when he is dead. Now that I have found a public article detailing the final compensation act re the abuse with him named as perpetrator … now might be the time to have the award overturned?
Here is the link to that public article → Here

How’s that sound? I mean being proud Australians and all. Pfft … forgive the sarcasm. I’m mean not to disrespect any one’s affinity for nationalism (not saying you aspire to be Australian - more saying why I don't give two fucks about such things - no offense) – BUT – this is the clearly a case why I see through all flags and societal conditioning.
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Woe - got side track. Daughter has to go with police to get her finger prints done. The shit never ends.

Sigh ... I hear ya tone. I really do. With all my heart.

Out of the 400K I got 6. My sister felt for me and gave me another 6. I beleive her daughter got most of the rest which was like 40k minus the 6. Most got around 40k - maybe some more and then some a lot less. It was what it was. The process for me was more about what I did for myself in this here thread. The process outside of it with the likes of Peter Lucas and the system in general almost killed me. Kind of wish I did not delete my Youtube video where I was psychotic trying to explain just how shit the process was. My sister started with some friends and then by the end of the process they all hated her for trying to speak up for all the other victims who did not fit the calculations.

Like I say ... and I know it's a hard one to cop ... the money is really a load of shit. The closing comment in that linked article about Lucas's statement could not be more full of shit. It's true they made it about the money and he himself got a paid handsomely for his work despite his claims of ensuring it was not so. BUT - the part about the process ties into the same trauma and real cost of such a sham.

PLEASE do continue though if you feel it helps to talk about the damage that was done in that hell hole all those years.

I know in this respect regarding my own complexities that all this was probably the only time in my life that yelling and screaming did me any good. I hope it is the same for others. Especially those that had to cop another form of abuse re the Hierarchy Response.

Fuck those CUNTS ... your absolutely right.

That said I best throw in a smile to show I am on the mend and that anything is possible. I should disassemble my high end computer setup, put it all up on eBay and start a new fund! Teach the fuckers what equality is really about. Sigh. What the fuck ever.

Understand if my wall of text was too much. I really must thank you as I think my wife is going to take that article now and use it to dismantle that dead fucks remaining award. Australians - Pffft - fuck the very concept of nationalism. In this and every country around the world. Humans are fucked up ... straight up.

Laughs out loud. One more sigh and back to you. I really hope your understanding some of this. Again really sorry for the way things turned out. I can only suggest to just keep telling your story if your up for it. Make it as long, as short, as explicit or ANYTHING you want.

This forum has actually been really good for things like that. It's definitely unique as far as mental health forums go.

I'm really glad you spoke up. I'd love to hear more and promise no more wall of texts. It's been a while since thinking about all this is all and I again do not regret that you have come along. That said understand if you want to keep it short. But please do keep going on as I loved the way you nailed the dynamics in that house.

Well fucking said! A+++++

[Tones]

Full reply they said it was to long shorten it n they deleted it. I cant do this

[Ponder]

Arrr yes - I think as a new member you have to make like 15 posts or something like that in order to break the limit barrier. This is nothing new.

Your welcome to try spamming another 12 posts with a minimum of 10 characters I think. Here I will do it to show you. Forget about the sidebar on the forum. I show you.

This counts as one.PS you will have to wait 30 seconds in between.

[Ponder]

Life is too short to give a fuck

[Ponder]

Number three ... seriously ... anything goes. Yadda yadda ... watch the seconds go. tick tock tick tock ... how many to go?