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  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    Indiana, USA :)
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    Searching for anything good...(sigh)

    It's been awhile since I was last here. I thought I'd sign in for abit to see what's been going on. Hey newbies, hey veterans. Still waiting on some sort of medal for being able to deal with all this intense pressure, but it's just usually more added intesified pressures instead. I say WTF alot, for sure.

    I've read through some of the posts. They are all generally something that I had seen or read before. Even though we're all unique, and one of a kind, the symptoms are quite common. Everybody has anxiety, it's there for a reason. The problem is when anxiety, has you. Extremely tough to deal with at times. Most definately and assuredly. Been there, done that. It can be exhausting.

    Sometimes I think that the best way to even attempt to overcome this mental health issue, is to realize that there are countless others out here in the world that are having a hard time too, just in varying degrees of a hard time. Different levels of "stress". Just when I think it can't get any worse and maybe things are working out, something else happens tougher than the other last issue at hand. It's a cycle. I just wish I could figure out the exact patterns, I can't. I'm still searching for something good daily, trust me. It's elusive. But, I still have to try.

    Just for perspective, here's some of my own problems, if they aren't to tough to read through. Maybe, you'll read them and the words will impact you in a way that makes you think to yourself for a minute about your own struggles and how they affect you. I'll try to keep is as short as possible. Goodluck!

    1. Disease. I have one. Rare. Deadly. Destroyed my entire life, took everything I owned, left me with nothing other than this disturbed mind. Hilarious.
    2. Mental health disorders. All of them. Lucky me.
    3. Disability. All of my joints are damaged. They hurt everyday. Relentless.
    4. Uncontrolled limb movements. Episodes of ataxia. It looks like I have cerebral palsy at times, but I don't.
    5. Further tests. They're still searching for this disease, but there is no test designed to find it available. Vial, after vial. I have an MRI coming up on December 9th, my birthday. Another needle stuck in my spine. For contrast of course. Happy Birthday!
    6. Shots. One in my leg every 3rd day, one in my ass every Tuesday.
    7. My oldest daughter just had her second son, I didn't get to meet him nor will I ever. She put him up for adoption. She's a drug addict. His name was Camden. 8 weeks in a NICU. 7lb baby drug addict. Holes in his heart. Possible brain damage.
    8. The State forced her to give her first son away to a relative, he's 3. He got into her pills and went to the ER. He survived.
    9. My youngest daughter got caught with weed in October. A huge mess. She quit smoking weed though, and started smoking meth instead.
    10. It's the Holidays, and I'm a tiny bit stressed. I will be getting back on xanax tomorrow, after one year without it. I have no choice, that's what it's for.

    So, to me, it seems abit hard to find something good here but I do still have hope and that's really all we have anyway.

    Look for positives, they are out there and maybe they're already right in front of you anyway if you'd just really open your eyes.

    Happy Holidays!

    E-Man..

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Aug 2013
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    California
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    Hey E-Man. Happy Holidays to you too. I don't have much to add other than to say that I like the way you write and I like your attitude. When I read your post I was drawn to you and just want to say thanks for sharing that. Thanks also for the reminder to look for something positive.

    Wishing you the best!
    Remember, you only live once. That's why it's so important to spend at least 15 hours a day on the internet seeking validation from total strangers - Chris Rock

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  3. #3
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    Indiana, USA :)
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    Well Thank you much Tailspin! Through all that stuff, I had hope that today would be better and it has been so far. I had my eyes checked to be sure that there was no metal fragments in them after 30 years of grinding, cutting, sheet steel and other metals. Nothing in them! You have to know those things before you lay in an MRI. It's a giant magnet that will remove the metal whether you want it out or not. I will still have eyes when the tests is done. YAY!! I also found another used tire for my youngest daughters car because I won't buy a new one. She runs over s**t and seems to have an uncanny ability to damage the car every other week or so. I went out one morning and the hood was crushed. I got her outside to ask about it? She just said "What dent?". BAAHAA!!! Uh, that giant one in the hood!!! That's why I bought her a 92 Honda. It's like a demo derby car more or less. LMAO!! Just waiting to hear from the pharmacy now as I get my xanax and some abilify ($800 a month) so I hope it's friggin awesome for that much!!

    Make this day a great day friend!

    It's gotta be better than being stuck in sh**ty Indiana!!

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    May 2013
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    189
    Im so sorry! If they're not sure what the disease is that you have then how do they know it's deadly? You sound very positive for having such a rough time. Wish I could be that way

  5. #5
    Senior Member
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    Nov 2013
    Location
    Virginia, USA
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    Hello Eman,

    Thanks for the welcome. Love your sarcasm. It can be helpful in dealing with it all. Sounds like you have an ample start on your intractable problem list. How DO you deal with that problem of living in Indiana? LOL
    Recovered Anxiety and Depression Sufferer
    Enjoying Life Again!
    Author of "SANE - Reclaim Your Life"
    Follow me on:
    sane-book.blogspot.com

  6. #6
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    Hey YourKids and LGI!
    Relapsing polychondritis: It can cause deafness, blindness, dissolve my trachea so I choke, and or dissolve my heart valves. None of which, I would find all that pleasant and comforting. At least wait until Christmas is over!! LOL!
    Sarcasm is the only way to down play extremely serious and terrifyingly horrifying life issues friend, intractable problems, CHECK!! HAAAHA!!
    I'd rather live in a nice comfy cave..and live on grass, sticks and twigs. Wait, I already do!! (well, minus the cave part)

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Enduronman View Post
    Hey YourKids and LGI!
    Relapsing polychondritis: It can cause deafness, blindness, dissolve my trachea so I choke, and or dissolve my heart valves. None of which, I would find all that pleasant and comforting. At least wait until Christmas is over!! LOL!
    Sarcasm is the only way to down play extremely serious and terrifyingly horrifying life issues friend, intractable problems, CHECK!! HAAAHA!!
    I'd rather live in a nice comfy cave..and live on grass, sticks and twigs. Wait, I already do!! (well, minus the cave part)
    REALLY sorry you're dealing with this condition, E-Man, but I LOVE your sense of humor! I used to have a good sense of humor myself, but it's fallen by the wayside somewhat thanks to my relentless depression and anxiety issues, coupled with the hormonal roller-coaster of approaching menopause! It's inspiring to say the least that you can write about these things with so much humor, E-Man! Thanks for reminding me that a sense of humor is one of the most important tools in the mental health/illness tool chest, and thanks for making me laugh!

    Hope the Xanax and Abilify help and good luck with your upcoming MRI!

    PS: What does the second line of your avatar say? I can only read the top line!
    Last edited by tailspin; 12-02-2013 at 09:46 PM.
    Remember, you only live once. That's why it's so important to spend at least 15 hours a day on the internet seeking validation from total strangers - Chris Rock

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  8. #8
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    Virginia, USA
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    Polychondritis. So all of the differential diagnoses have been ruled out? Or are you just cherry picking? LOL
    Recovered Anxiety and Depression Sufferer
    Enjoying Life Again!
    Author of "SANE - Reclaim Your Life"
    Follow me on:
    sane-book.blogspot.com

  9. #9
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    Gotta have a sense of humor, to live through this hell!!
    Then, you wake up and find yourself in physical therapy like I did today...YAY!!!
    After that I went out to the Doctor's office to see if my blood test results were in yet. They were. She said no I'm not going to die yet. YEAH!!!
    Also told her that her prescription for my anxiety to "Be sure to drink yer Ovaltine" is complete bullshit and I want my xanax NOW!!!
    She pushed a button, and said it's at the pharmacy now dude so CALM DOWN!!! OK!!!
    So, snap out of the funk friends and go be awnry to someone today..they'll appreciate it.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Enduronman View Post
    So, snap out of the funk friends and go be awnry to someone today..they'll appreciate it.
    Thumbs up! You have to push on these doctors sometimes. I have fired doctors. And I have even been fired by doctors. LOL
    Recovered Anxiety and Depression Sufferer
    Enjoying Life Again!
    Author of "SANE - Reclaim Your Life"
    Follow me on:
    sane-book.blogspot.com

 

 

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