Anxiety + Head Injury + Drug Addiction

[droz]

Hello, new here and kind of desperate. I don't have anxiety myself, well, no more than is normal I guess, but my son suffers from it. He is 17 years old. This July he was in a car accident and suffered two skull fractures with two brain contusions. While he was in the hospital recovering, we found out that he had been using opiates and benzos for a couple of months. Since the accident he has been clean, except for pot. However, he has horrible anxiety attacks that bring on depression. The neurologists told us that may happen, as his frontal lobe was injured and that can lead to anxiety.

He did have anxiety and depression before the accident, but it was much more mild, and he knew how to and could cope with it. Although, I think that's why he was doing those drugs, to self-medicate.

When he has these I just don't know how to help him. I just try to remind him that we will help him cope and we will get through this. When I was his age I suffered from depression so I kind of know how he feels, but I don't know what to do for him.

He has an appointment next week to see a psychiatrist to maybe get some meds, but with his history of drug abuse, I don't know if they will give him anything. He also sees a therapist.

I've told him to meditate, go for walks or bike rides, play his guitar, but he said none of that helps.

I'm scared that he is going to hurt himself or start using again if this doesn't get better soon.

Any ideas on what I can do to help?

[tailspin]

Hi droz, Welcome! Sorry you are going through this with your son. He's lucky to have someone like you who cares so much and really wants to understand and to help.

I'm thinking that it could be good if your son were to join this forum (though I guess he might feel inhibited if you were both members. Not sure. He could always join a different forum). Anyhow, a lot of us here find it really helpful to be part of a community who totally understand anxiety and other mood disorders, for example, depression. So my first thought was to suggest that your son join an online support forum where he can share his experiences anonymously and receive support from his peers.

It's great your son has an appointment with a psychiatrist next week. Also great that he has a therapist. Perhaps his therapist could refer him for some Group Therapy. I really believe that working through these things with others who are in the same boat can be most helpful.

I can't imagine that your son's former drug use would preclude him from being prescribed anti-depressants because they are not addictive in the way that opiates or benzos can be. So hopefully the psychiatrist can get him started on an anti-depressant and that will help him.

Regarding pot, I have heard from a number of people that it can trigger really bad panic attacks in some folks. So even though the conventional wisdom is that pot chills you out, it can have the exact opposite effect on people who are prone to anxiety or who have an existing anxiety disorder.

Really hope things get better. Let us know how it's all going!

[sweetypie]

Your son doesn't need to have brain damage of any kind to feel depression or anxiety, first of all. Just going through something traumatic, like a serious injury, can make you view life completely differently and be more afraid than you were before.

Does he have a therapist and a support group? Or friends with anxiety? Drugs from a psychiatrist can help, but it helps a whole lot, too, to have people he can talk to and try to figure out what's going on with?

Also, is he just saying exercise doesn't help him or does he actually do it and say he still feels the same? Because exercising when I'm anxious helps me SO MUCH to be able to cope with my anxiety. It doesn't take all of it away, but it makes it easier.

You're doing good with what you are doing now. The thing with anxiety and depression is that the people around you want to take it away for you, but the only person who can deal with it is the person who has it. Just be supportive and keep saying you'll be there whenever he's upset. That's the best thing you can do.

I agree that pot can trigger anxiety. So can a lot of different things. I can't have alcohol or even caffeine because of my anxiety. If he's willing to try giving those things up, it would be good, but again, he has to decide to do that on his own.

[alankay]

Does the anxiety revolve around memories of the accident like OCD?
The pdoc should have some ideas on how to proceed. Alankay

[Perses]

Dear droz,

Sorry to hear that your son was in an accident. Like AlanKay, I would be interested in what kind of anxiety he is experiencing. Is he in school? Is he planning on attending college? Is his situation challenging at home?

Second thing to be concerned about is the opiates, benzos and marijuana abuse. Any alcohol abuse, as well? Was this frequent? Was it a means of medicating against his anxiety or does he/did he see it as recreational? I guess these are the kind of questions that would help determine what was causing trauma in his life prior to the accident. It is certainly true that benzos are not prescribed to persons who have abused drugs or who might be predisposed to use them off-label. However, as Tailspin mentioned, there are anti-depressants that can help alleviate anxiety and also, of course, depression.

It sounds to me like you are supporting your son, and encouraging him to do the right things with his life. I would encourage you to also seek out family therapy as well. When my sister was diagnosed with bipolar she saw a psychiatrist who was, in essence, her advocate. Their conversations were privileged. And, she really guarded her time with her therapist as her own. That sort of irritated my family, as we were having to live with her daily, and wanted to be a part of her therapy. Ultimately, we found it helpful to attend a group session with a family therapist so that we could also talk through her experiences together.

Wish I had ideas on how you can help your son, I do think reminding him that you love him, that he's young and has his whole future ahead of him, will certainly be appreciated.

[alankay]

Even if he did truly abuse there's things to try in that instance like ssri's or drugs that help with anxiety like gabapentin or lyrica that are not prone to being abused.
Anyway if truly needed they could still use benzos just on a very monitored program with you helping monitor use since hes is a minor legally. Teens often "experiment" so this my not be true abuse. I did with pot back in the day but no longer when I developed anxiety and my pdoc was like " yeah, uh ha" once he knew that was just in my past as a teen. Message me any time. Alankay

[droz]

Thanks to everyone for the support and replies. I will suggest he join this or another forum.

We have talked about starting an anti-depressant and he's willing to try it, but he wants something that will help him "RIGHT NOW". I can understand why he wants that, but it's also always been a part of his personality that he doesn't like to wait for things.

We are in family therapy and have been for a few years. And it's weird, but the accident has definitely brought us closer. Especially he and his father.

I'm definitely going to discuss the pot with him, because I've heard that it can cause anxiety from other people too.

He has no memories of the accident or even of the hospital stay for a few days (they had him on Ativan, and I guess that causes memory loss). So I don't think that's causing any anxiety. He says the anxiety just hits him whether he's in his room, or at school, or whenever. (Sometimes "stupid" people bring it on, but I think that's because his patience has shrunk to zero. He's very easily irritated.) He says he can't pinpoint any concrete reasons to be anxious and that's what is so maddening about it. Before the accident, if he felt anxious, he usually had a concrete reason, and he could think his way through it. Now there's nothing to think through, just that feeling in the pit of his stomach and the racing heart and headache.

Thanks again for the support, guys. I'll let you know what the pdoc says!

[sweetypie]

Thanks to everyone for the support and replies. I will suggest he join this or another forum.

We have talked about starting an anti-depressant and he's willing to try it, but he wants something that will help him "RIGHT NOW". I can understand why he wants that, but it's also always been a part of his personality that he doesn't like to wait for things.

We are in family therapy and have been for a few years. And it's weird, but the accident has definitely brought us closer. Especially he and his father.

I'm definitely going to discuss the pot with him, because I've heard that it can cause anxiety from other people too.

He has no memories of the accident or even of the hospital stay for a few days (they had him on Ativan, and I guess that causes memory loss). So I don't think that's causing any anxiety. He says the anxiety just hits him whether he's in his room, or at school, or whenever. (Sometimes "stupid" people bring it on, but I think that's because his patience has shrunk to zero. He's very easily irritated.) He says he can't pinpoint any concrete reasons to be anxious and that's what is so maddening about it. Before the accident, if he felt anxious, he usually had a concrete reason, and he could think his way through it. Now there's nothing to think through, just that feeling in the pit of his stomach and the racing heart and headache.

Thanks again for the support, guys. I'll let you know what the pdoc says!

You can tell him this . . .

The thing about anxiety is that all of us who have it want a solution right at this very moment as well. Our thoughts drive us crazy, too, and we just don't understand why we can't control this terrible feeling. But the more we try to control it, sometimes the worse it gets. The more we accept the anxiety, usually the better it gets. The more we realize that even if we are anxious, it doesn't actually hurt anything, the better we get. And the more we realize that it might take time to get better and accept that, the better it gets.

It sounds counterproductive, accept your anxiety and you'll get better, but a lot of the problem with anxiety is that we fear what it does to us and our brains and lives. And when you accept it and believe you can handle it, it becomes easier to handle.

But of course, that is much easier said than done! And I'm not saying this is a simple solution because it really isn't!

Also, I know he was injured, but it would be good to encourage him not to believe that he's a damaged individual. I have had anxiety and depression problems my entire life and therefore I've always thought it was genetic, almost like fate, that I would be forced to suffer forever. Make sure he understands he's the same person, he just happens to have anxiety right now, but that it doesn't define him. It's not who he is now. He's still the same person. That helped me a lot, too. Because when you have a mental problem like this, sometimes you feel like you're some kind of doomed weirdo!

[mikecole114]

You can tell him this . . . The thing about anxiety is that all of us who have it want a solution right at this very moment as well. Our thoughts drive us crazy, too, and we just don't understand why we can't control this terrible feeling. But the more we try to control it, sometimes the worse it gets. The more we accept the anxiety, usually the better it gets. The more we realize that even if we are anxious, it doesn't actually hurt anything, the better we get. And the more we realize that it might take time to get better and accept that, the better it gets. It sounds counterproductive, accept your anxiety and you'll get better, but a lot of the problem with anxiety is that we fear what it does to us and our brains and lives. And when you accept it and believe you can handle it, it becomes easier to handle. But of course, that is much easier said than done! And I'm not saying this is a simple solution because it really isn't! Also, I know he was injured, but it would be good to encourage him not to believe that he's a damaged individual. I have had anxiety and depression problems my entire life and therefore I've always thought it was genetic, almost like fate, that I would be forced to suffer forever. Make sure he understands he's the same person, he just happens to have anxiety right now, but that it doesn't define him. It's not who he is now. He's still the same person. That helped me a lot, too. Because when you have a mental problem like this, sometimes you feel like you're some kind of doomed weirdo!

I completely agree with everything sweetie pie says in terms of anxiety and thankyou sweetie pie that helped me a lot to.
In terms of drugs I realised I was self medicating with pot for over a year I didn't accept it. Apparently weed doesn't cause anxiety but it defo doesn't make it better in the long run! I've been off weed for 4 weeks and I feeling a lot better because of it (I use to smoke everyday)
But the vital point is that he must accept it and until he does he won't be able to improve. I hope all the best for him and you

[Perses]

Yes, I agree with sweetie's sage advice and thank mikecole for her comments on weed. I'm super glad to hear you have a family therapist and that the accident has brought him closer to his dad. Keep us informed.