I'm a 49 year old male with a wonderful, understanding wife. Been married 30 years...two grown kids. I'm confined to about a mile from my home. It has been progressively getting worse for about 10 years. Mild at first, and as the years have gone by, it seems each day I'm a little worse. It does no good to talk about it. I am aware that there are a few of us out there. My daughter was just married about 3 weeks ago. Not only could I NOT walk her down the isle, I couldn't even go...it was a mile from my house. My Son got married a week ago. I could not attend that either. Talk about pain. I was fairly normal until age 40. From about age 40 up until a year ago I managed to get around. I would sit in the truck while my wife shopped. I had several panic attacks at stoplights and every other situation, but I made myself keep doing it. About a year ago to the date, I went deer hunting. I had an attack waaay out in the mountains. The trip home was hell. That pretty much did it for me. I was an outgoing, fun loving husband and daddy. I worked mainly as a purchasing agent for the gold mining industry. I played guitar and sang country and rock music in a band for 20 years. I loved fishing, camping, playing my music, hunting, getting firewood, shopping with my wife...I just loved life. That has all been taken away now. I really just want to die. I promised my wife that I wouldn't "do" myself although I have thought about it many times...and still do. I have a bad tooth that hurts most of the time and I can't get it taken care of. I need new glasses and an eye exam but I
can't go. My left knee has a growth under the knee cap and it is excruciating/crippling 24/7...again, I can't get it checked. Obviously, I can't seek any help for my agoraphobia. Since it's getting worse, I don't know where it'll go from here. I tried asking God for help but have heard nothing but silence from him. My life is basically over. I'm now sitting around the house waiting to die. Since there's no cure for me, I just thought I'd share my nightmare with you all.