i've been clinically depressed since i was about 16, im 21now. I was
diagnosed as bi-polar after i had a manic episode, and was taken to an
institution in mount vernon. when i was drug tested they found
amphetamines (cocaine), and cannabinoids. i've kicked all that stuff
since, and ive really only done coke 3 times in my whole life.
anyways For the past few years ive been dealing with anxiety along
with my depression. and i feel my anxiety is an underlying cause of
my depresseion. especially over the past few months ive had several
severe panic attacks.my psychiatrist, that ive been seeing since i
left mountvernon, has me on 450mg of wellbutrin in the morning, and
300mg of seroquell at night to help me sleep. before this ive been on,
paxil, zoloft, celexa, depakote, geodon, trileptal, cogentin, zyprexa,
and prozac. I have what they call treatment resistant depression. and
while i was in mount vernon they gave me ativan along with the other
stuff It put me in a great mood, i was much more social and less
worried about life Since then i've been given xanax a few times from
a friend with PTSD, i loved it, not in an addict kinda way, but more
like wow something actually works for me way, but with my history of
drug abuse I think my doctor is a little apprehensive about
prescribing me any kind of benzos. Ive done some reasearch on drugs
like effexor and lexapro, but those seem to be in the same boat as
paxil, which made me even more depressed. Should I tell my doctor
that my mom gave me a xanax and it really helped me, or should I just
let him know about the severe anxiety ive been having and see where
the cards fall?

p.s. sorry for the ranting