This is my first day on this forum, i have been having a really rough week and just reading other peoples posts has made me feel a little better already.
I have had anxiety/obsessive thoughts come and go now for some 6 years. It all started in 2002, in a criminal justice class when we were on the subject of serial killers. This lead me to the thinking of the irrational thoughts of "what if i become a serial killer" or "what if i hurt someone", which had an immediate impact of mass panic and anxiety. And than this lead to worrying about health problems, thinking i was crazy, and anything you could ever imagine felt like it was running through my mind. I went to see a psychiatrist and a psychologist. They put me on Zoloft and i did a little so-called therapy (which was pretty much me talking to the psychologist). After time, I thought my anxiety had diminshed for the most part with little relapses that come and go fast.
It's now 5 years later. And i feel like i am falling back into anxiety and panic full force. And the weird thing is is that it seems to happen at the same time every year. But this year it's worse. First of all, i have started my first career job out of college, which was very exciting for me and my friends. Also, i have met a girl of whom i love so much and have never felt that way about anyone before. BUT my first week of work there was really nothing for me to do, so i sat in a cubical with pretty much 8 hours for me to think about and overanalyze everything. I started worrying about my realtionship with my GF. I started to think "what if she breaks up with me", "what if she meets someone else" "what if she get tired of me"?
"does she care about me as much as a i care about her" Also, i will not see her for 2 weeks because i have a bussiness trip which i will talk about later. And the thing is is that she has reassured me many of time that she is here for me and that i have nothing to worry about. I have never been an insecure person with girls and i know that i am overthinking and overanalyzing everything.
This lead me to start having anxiety about my trip i am going on tomorrow. I will be going to a small town to do inventory. I believe the thing that makes me panic the most is that i do not want to be alone. i am sure that my days will be fine when i am busy but i am more worried about the nights when i am alone. I have a hard time not being around people and friends. This seems to make my anxiety worse.
If anyone has any suggestions or similar experiences, please post/reply