Have had agoraphobia for 27yrs.

[pricklyrose]

Brett,

Reading your post was one of the posts that gave me enough strength to post my own story. Thank you. I was hospitalized at a young age, 7 or 8, because they didn't know what anxiety, panic, or other things were. They wanted to blame my parents. I was born this way - and God only knows why. My mom used to say I was just "high strung", and to this day still does not believe anything is wrong with me except what I create.

Recently I have "upgraded" to other forms of expression in my illness. I will find myself rubbing my skin on my hands with my fingernails until I form blisters and bleed. If I watch a movie, I will be running for Teatree Oil when it is done. I don't do it intentionally.

Brett, I look outside through the windows and see children laughing, people talking, and see the stars at night. I want so bad to join those people. To hear why they are laughing, to experience a normal relationship with another person as much as myself. But I find that all I can do is watch through a window that is as impenatrable as steel.

Doctor's put me on meds and all I do is sleep. I have actually lived a whole life in a series of dreams that lasted a few months. I cannot explain this other than I could not tell the difference between this life and my dream life.

Anyway, if you ever want to talk, just let me know.

Regards,
Rosey

[The Healing Guy]

I am here to lend a helping hand. I am a healer. I do long-distance healing purely on a donation basis. If you are truly ready to start turning things around, just drop me a line at:

[email protected]

No strings attached. Just you and me and healing energy. Remember, you are always the real healer!

Sincerely,
Michael[b]

[Boop Boopie Boop]

Hey Brett,
When I was 8 I couldn't go to school without constant panic. I had to sit in class with an icecream container to occasionally nervous spew into. I think the worst part of it is the way that people, especially adults would treat you as a kid with separation anxiety or agoraphobia. So many times I was scolded, told to pull myself together, stop crying and given lectures on how I was upsetting my parents lives. I think that is half the reason why we are so scared that we might again panic in front of people as an adult. One thing I have learnt from my cognitive behavioral therapy is that I am not what I think someone may be thinking of me. If I do panic and people think I'm mad that doesn't mean I am mad, if they think I am pathetic that doesn't make me pathetic, if they think I am weak that doesn't mean I am. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks; it does not make a difference to the person we truly are. My mum has had anxiety all her life and has dealt with it via alcohol. In the past few years she has made a real achievement at overcoming it and I am so proud of her. You are such a strong person for dealing with this for 27 years and all the stigma attached to it. To make the choice to give up alcohol too just proves this point even more. You should be proud of yourself. Don't give up when you are doing so well