Why cant I just stay on antidepressants if they are helping me?

[bitsofthread]

As a social anxiety sufferer, I've begun to realize that the only way to cope and function in life is to deny my own feelings. The feelings of constant fear are to be stifled in order to survive. The problem arises when the feelings become stubborn and begin to bubble over, as a covered pot does, to the point that I have a break down and have an attack of either panic or extreme emotional weariness, whether it be in public or private, and the "progress" I have made "functioning in the real world, aka at college or a job" becomes meaningless to me, as I am left with no hope of piecing myself back together. I become fragile again, and afraid of a inevitable failure to get through each day without showing other people just how fragile I have become. After a few months of careful nurturing myself I come to the belief that I can try again.
As far as considering therapy, I am not sure there is a simple need to rethink the situation. (As if I have not tried to think myself out of these scenarios.) Since the main culprit to this nasty cycle seems to be the feelings of fear themselves, why not simply remove the feelings with medication if possible? Is there a problem with becoming dependent on Lexapro? I certainly have been doing better on it in the past two months. Why is my doctor wanting me to attend cognitive behavioral therapy in exchange for more medication? Is it really that much of a problem to simply keep prescribing the medication? Why do doctors make this harder than it already is?

[bitsofthread]

In addition to this, I would add that it seems that we have two options: be a stubborn, tortured warrior of the world or be an angel of the home, caring for those who venture out, lighting candles, playing music, busying ourselves with housework, and attending to them when they are sick. I have found that I am completely fulfilled just being the person who stays home and creates beautiful artwork, needlework, or music, bakes pies, and talks to the kitty. The man I am with seems to be happy with the angel of the home person I can be. Why cant I be her? Maybe I feel that I have to help support myself, or that wonderful haven for my artistic, nurturing side is only a temporary respite. I guess I fear that somehow this role is not good enough for the people of the rest of the world, the "them."

[Dcoito]

Well I think being at home is my favorite thing to do too, however you can't just tuck away your fears! You must work on them regardless. It would make you even better! Think about situations you may need to be in. Like shopping, school meetings if you have children, gatherings with friends, family. And maybe a part time job. Medication helps yes! But it dose not cure! You need to find coping strategies. No need to be a warrior! Quite the oppitset really. You need to expose yourself to it, and let it happen!
I know Easter said then done right? But the brain will never stop sending off singles that your in danger if you never Change it. Why? Because that information is stored in the amygdala a small nut size gland just above the brain stem that reacts to danger perceived , and in our case unperceived! You somehow conditioned the amygdala to send off a danger single in certain situations you don't feel comfortable in. That happens by storing negative thoughts. You can look up on YouTube how the amygdala effects the brain, and how it works. It then will make sense to you. All of this activity going on in the brain is normal function. You are not sick in anyway! It's just really annoying when it happens, and we know there is no real danger. So retraining your amygdala is the best way in overcoming your fears. To do that you have to put yourself out there. Let the sensations happen! You know how bad they can get! But did you know that that's as bad as it can get? You will not die! You just stay right where you are, and breath deep breathes in the nose, hold for 123 then out slowly. Let all the sensations run ramped , but stay calm. Welcome them. Say to yourself is that all you got! Keep breathing that's important! Because once the amygdala is activated. It takes over the rest of the brain, and pulls all the oxygen away from the brain as it sends adrenaline, and endorphins through the body that kicks in your fight, or flight response. That means you normal thinking pattern is shut off! It will help keep some of your rational thoughts in play! Let people close to you about your plan to face you fear. Have them support you. Once that little amygdala. Gets the message, there is no danger, it will shut off!

Just a thought for you! Research all you can about your fears, and put your tool belt on, and go get em! LOL.

[bitsofthread]

I know I probably sound a little bit spiteful about this, but... I have been fighting this since middle school and the amount of painful memories I have from fighting this for over a decade are starting to add up. It seems like the more I fight and try, the more I fail. I dont really understand why it is so horrible to simply live life for me, and what makes me happy, which is staying home and enjoying the life I have there. Why do other people think they know what is best for anxiety sufferers, telling them to fight, when it hurts so much, and suggesting that they get help, when they've already tried that, and telling them that they must endure more and more pain. Its never good enough for them. Im kind of at the end of my rope trying to please everyone else, and live up to what my family wants, and what my friends think I should be like. I just want to live in an igloo away from everyone and hide... create masterpieces and write letters if I really want to talk to them... I really sound antisocial dont I? I guess Im just tired of it, and the pressure, the constant pressure to do more... and more... until I break down from it all. Why cant I be at home and just pay for my existance with my love for the people in it... Im sorry if it sounds argumentative, but its only feelings.

[Dcoito]

My point was not to fight it anymore! That's the problem, and it dose not work! You have been fighting it! Stop fighting it, and just let them happen, with a clear mind, and telling yourself that your ok, nothing bad is going to happen to you! You said you have been fighting it for a long time! Well do the opposite! You can still do what makes you happy. But you may also open up some doors to even more happiness!

[jinx136]

bitofsoftthread, I must say I envy your situation. I cannot afford to stay home.
I suggest you do see a therapist and more so, that you get a book on anxiety and work on it.
You may find that although it does not always work, you can at least say I tried.

I know for myself, that is all I can really hope for. That is I can only say, I tried.
I recommend keeping a thought journal and writing down your anxieties, sharing them with a therapist, and trying to overcome them. In my case, it has taken about 6 years, to even see that I stress too much about work and making others happy, which I am trying to spend less time doing.