I am a first time poster, and have seen some good things on this website so I expect that someone out there is going to see where I am coming from here. I have clinical depression, which I was diagnosed with in January 2013. Ever since I was very young I have had problems with my nerves, and have found it hard to make friends and relate to people. I was so quiet that I used to be taken to see speech therapists and doctors because my parents and teachers always thought something was wrong with me (they were probably right). I was never diagnosed with anything mental health wise, although I am soon to be tested for Autism Spectrum Disorder.
What can I say, my life has been made absolute hell because of how nervous I am. In secondary school I was bullied for being shy,had low self esteem and was very unhappy. Finding friends at college was unbelievably hard for me, and I only made a couple of close friends throughout my three years there. My problems with my nerves progressively got worse and worse, year after year.
Upon leaving college, I turned to god for help, and joined a local church, but it didn't last, and I quit the religious life after about a year. I got a job at a hospital working as a caterer but I struggled with that because I wasn't getting along with my colleagues. I tried to be nice to them, but my nerves held me back from building rapport with most of the staff, so I only made a couple of friends there. In only two months, I was sacked for under performing, which was a result of various changes in my mood which was, you guessed it=depression!
Since December 2012, I have been talked out of suicide three times, and I am still pondering killing myself, because I have no reason to believe that things are going to get better. Something that is really bothering me is that girls lose interest in me far too quickly. I dated various girls since leaving the church, but it only ever lasted a couple of weeks. My most recent girlfriend left me after a week and a half because I was too shy around her, something I can't really help because I have so many problems with my nerves. I am 21, and still a virgin, and a few of my friends have said that's really bad. I agree, and I am starting to realize what I am missing out on. I want a normal life. I don't want to be depressed any more.
My depression and my nerves have been holding me back for too long and I want things to change. Are there any coping strategies or anything that have helped anyone else in my situation?