Clinical depression and shyness

[Ravensam]

I am a first time poster, and have seen some good things on this website so I expect that someone out there is going to see where I am coming from here. I have clinical depression, which I was diagnosed with in January 2013. Ever since I was very young I have had problems with my nerves, and have found it hard to make friends and relate to people. I was so quiet that I used to be taken to see speech therapists and doctors because my parents and teachers always thought something was wrong with me (they were probably right). I was never diagnosed with anything mental health wise, although I am soon to be tested for Autism Spectrum Disorder.
What can I say, my life has been made absolute hell because of how nervous I am. In secondary school I was bullied for being shy,had low self esteem and was very unhappy. Finding friends at college was unbelievably hard for me, and I only made a couple of close friends throughout my three years there. My problems with my nerves progressively got worse and worse, year after year.
Upon leaving college, I turned to god for help, and joined a local church, but it didn't last, and I quit the religious life after about a year. I got a job at a hospital working as a caterer but I struggled with that because I wasn't getting along with my colleagues. I tried to be nice to them, but my nerves held me back from building rapport with most of the staff, so I only made a couple of friends there. In only two months, I was sacked for under performing, which was a result of various changes in my mood which was, you guessed it=depression!
Since December 2012, I have been talked out of suicide three times, and I am still pondering killing myself, because I have no reason to believe that things are going to get better. Something that is really bothering me is that girls lose interest in me far too quickly. I dated various girls since leaving the church, but it only ever lasted a couple of weeks. My most recent girlfriend left me after a week and a half because I was too shy around her, something I can't really help because I have so many problems with my nerves. I am 21, and still a virgin, and a few of my friends have said that's really bad. I agree, and I am starting to realize what I am missing out on. I want a normal life. I don't want to be depressed any more.
My depression and my nerves have been holding me back for too long and I want things to change. Are there any coping strategies or anything that have helped anyone else in my situation?

[jerict09]

It sounds to me like you need therapy, they can really help you with your shyness. They have coping methods that can help you. As far as suicide goes you need to see a good doctor or psychiatrist. It's not normal to feel suicidal, you probably have a chemical imbalance. Don't quit just yet.

[Kevcules]

Hang in there! Being is a virgin at 21 isn't a big deal.....who cares if you are.....no one really should.

We have similar stories about shyness and nerves. I've dealt with that for some time also. For the last number of years it got really bad and I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety about 4 months ago. I'm 44 married with 2 children...

The dark thoughts you are having is because your brain's chemicals are imbalanced. It's depression, you're right! I've been there , believe me, not many on here haven't been close to pulling the plug, but don't give up! Seeing a doctor or psychiatrist is excellent advice. Do it! I would recommend a psychiatrist because they deal with mental health issues every day, it's their job to help people like us. Then I learned that once you're medicated down to reasonable level, you then see a psychologist. I'm seeing one now. They are good listeners and don't be afraid to tell them EVERYTHING !

One thing I want to say is to be honest and upfront with your women. I will tell you that if they run away when you're not "perfect" ,then be glad for that! The right kind of woman that has compassion and all the things you want in a girlfriend won't run away from you. They will stay with you and help you through this awful time. That is the type of woman you want to go out with and possibly marry!

I met a girl and she is awesome. She basically pulled me from the brink of you know what. She is so determined to see me get well , it amazes me! Now seeing how I'm married to another woman, that's kind of a difficult spot to be in because she does want to help me any way she can. Someday down the road she wants to be with me too and she's married also! So far we just talk..... But all I'm saying is that there are women out there who really care about people and if you can find one, count your blessings! Good luck and stay strong!