Hellooo i just registered here so hello
I just wanted to post this get some ideas as I am so confused with how I am feeling lately. I'll try my BEST to describe this, because it is extremely hard to put these feelings into words. Bear with me, I might not make sense sometimes :P
It is not all the time, but quite often I get random periods of uneasiness, fear, confusion, negative feelings stuff like that. I don't even know if they are the right words but that's all I can think of at the moment. However, it affects me a lot. Say for instance I have just found a new interest (which is rare for me these days) such as a new TV show or a good book, it's kinda like these negative feelings in my mind will switch on. Now that I have these weird feelings, the tv show I am watching will become related to these feelings and I'll get bad feelings about the TV show; that it's not right or it's bad or something like that. Therefore, I stop watching the show or the book or whatever. This really frustrates me because it's like if I find something I am interested in I have to constantly force myself to think good thoughts and good memories that the new interest will be related to these memories and good thoughts..
So weird.. I try not to let it get to me but sometimes it gets too much and my mind is full of clutter and I end up feeling scared, my heart beats faster and I have anxious feelings and butterflies in my stomach. I sometimes cry and it feels like im going to pass out -.- I just can't concentrate at all because everything around seems bad or I am just scared of something but I don't know what.
I wanted to get a tattoo, but i'm scared that these negative feelings and thoughts will ruin it for me. I can imagine having to live with that tattoo, looking at it and feeling anxious.. and then because it's on my body, everything I do will trigger these feelings.. Wow its so complicated.. I dont even know :P
can someone help?
thanks x