Hey guys! So I'm a 22 year old girl who's never really had a close friend nor a group of friends. I've always been too shy to really be around people and never really figured out how to make a friend and keep him.
There's nothing extremely wrong about me, except my excessive anxiety and the overwhelming shyness that used to keep me always quiet when I was younger. People would try to talk to me but I was so shy I'd make them think I wasn't interested. Then, when people asked me out for a birthday party or lunch or something, I'd always decline because I knew it'd be embarassing. For some time I "shut down" and although I always felt like I needed friends, I wasted great chances to talk to people who were there (classmates, housemates, workmates...).
Now that my anxiety is at its peak and I feel like I'm collapsing to pieces, I realize that the most part of it is caused by my lack of social interaction and a supportive group of people who can help me through though times, give advice, hang out with me, etc. I'm now moving abroad to a big city and I know there's a lot of people there. My question is where to go to make friends? Where do I meet them, how to I let them know that I'm cool and that I want them to be part of my life?
I've tried talking to some people in college but most of them already have their friendships and don't seem particularly interested, I go to extra classes and people there are also there pretty much just to learn and live, I joined a gym but the people who go there are either in groups or with their headphones plugged, I got a job and talk to my colleagues but they all already have personal lives and don't seem interested in after-work drinks.
I've had a couple of boyfriends and we had rather okay relationships and I feel like it's easier for me to connet romantically than friendly. I'm a good looking young female so most people who spontaneously approach me seem to be male and with second intentions. That's quite frustrating. I'm still with my second boyfriend but he lives in a different town, hardly ever comes to see me and doesn't really have friends of his own here that could be my friends too.
So, focus on the future. A big city. Where do I start?