Welcome to the Anxiety Forum - A Home for Those with Anxiety, Fear, or Panic Attacks.
Driving 468x60
Results 1 to 2 of 2
  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    23

    A little about my first attack

    Idk whether or not describing my first full blown anxiety attack to some of you guys will help or not, but I figured I would to see what you had to say. Almost four years ago, in the summer of 2010, I had just finished my first year of high school, and I went to the skatepark after school with a couple of my buddies. We picked up some weed, and decided to go into the woods to smoke it. Now, I had smoked weed at least 8-10 times before, and it never bothered me. I found it just made me a bit tired, and the high was usually alright. This time though, I had taken a shit ton on hits, and I was really ripping this homemade bong like crazy. Knowing my usual self, I was probably pretty anxious that day to begin with, and probably had a lot of shit on my mind. At one point I looked down, and then when I looked up, I guess I was in full blown panic mode. I think what set me off though, was that one of my buddies that was there had let out this laugh from a cartoon character on a show that i was familiar with back when I used to watch cartoons. The laugh could have EASILY been misconstrued as something maniacal sounding though, and as it turns out, I have a childhood phobia that I developed when I was really young from repeated exposure to a horror movie by my asshole father, so I'm guessing that the laugh, in conjunction with the pot, set me off. I know one thing for damn sure, if I WASN'T high at the time, the laugh would NOT have made me go into full blown panic mode, and I without having that first attack, I probably wouldn't even be posting on this forum right now. None of my other friends had a reaction like I did, so I don't think the weed was laced or anything like that. I havent smoked in years either, since that day. Whenever I see my buddy who comes over, he'll ask if he can smoke up, and I say, "Yea man it's cool, but none for me", cause even just being next to someone while smoking it now can make me nervous, cause I know there was some relation to the pot and my first attack. Now keep in my mind, I'm not blaming the pot. There has to be a deeper rooted problem here that already looks pretty obvious. I've mentioned this specific phobia of mine in one of my other posts, and I don't plan on making a habit of discussing it, but for the sake of sticking to my history's authenticity, I figured I had to bring it up here in this post. It's important to note that before this first attack, (which ultimately in the long run led to me going out of the house less and less until I arrived at the point I'm at now,) I always had anxiety my whole life. In the 8th grade, just about a full year an a half before I had this attack, I had IBS. (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) I would get on the bus, and be afraid i wasnt even gonna make it to school without shitting my pants.

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    23
    Haha, I know sounds horrible but it was true. And now, whenever I get uneasy or anxious, my stomach acts up. Even when I'm not anxious, I shit at least 3 times a day. I eat healthy, but I definitely think anxiety has a lot to do with that, because I piss a lot as well. I was moved around a lot as a kid too, so I never really had the security of knowing I was safe where I was. I moved around at LEAST 20 times in my life. Most were evictions cause my ma couldnt pay the bills. Ma an dad got divorced when I was 6. I used to be close with my dad, and now that all of this is surfacing, I really coudnt care less about our relationship. Hell, I didnt even cal him to wish him a happy fathers day. I guess maybe I have abandonment issues. And maybe no ground feelings of security, and maybe even love? Idk guys, but thanks for reading my post, and some comments would be helpful. I would love some advice from some of you.

 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Driving Large