A break from the world to treat my anxiety

[Mavilep]

My anxiety and depression are coming back, I always ignore it until they leave (Going to parties etc.) but they always come back.
I told my boyfriend all this but I want to let him know that I need a break to figure things out because right now I'm in a alot of stress and that's when the problem rises, I need some vacations, I always think about other people problems before mine and I really need this, I feel like i'm going to explode.
I think I need to fix this before giving my heart to someone, but don't get me wrong, I'm not breaking up with my boyfriend, he is my light in the darkness right now but sometimes I think that he loves me more than I do because I feel numb, I don't like to go out anymore and I'm afraid that I'm gonna screw this with him.
But I really need some vacations to relax my mind, staying in contact with the nature, like a cabin in the woods and just be disconnected from society.
At the same time I feel really guilty and selfish for leaving everyone behind for three months, my boyfriend is going to another city to finish his degree and I know that he wants to spend all the time that he haves here with me, but he understands that I have to leave, he supports me but I know that i'm breaking his heart.
Please give me advice, is this a good idea? Is this the right thing to do?

[Enduronman]

This is the depression making you feel like you're not worthy, a boat anchor, holding him back, slowing him down, supressing his dreams, I could keep typing.

Stepping away for awhile can actually be very rewarding but it depends on the reason. If this is a break in the action to kick yourself down, then no this isn't a good thing. This is what depression would want you to do, keep digging your own hole, deeper and deeper. Standing aside to look at the whole picture from the outside in is a good thing at times but generally speaking, a short term break would be best before you simply drift to far away to be towed back.

Hiding in a cabin does sound peaceful and relaxing, yet from the sound of this post, it may be very, very tough to force yourself to walk away from that cabin and from the short term escape from reality.

You answered your own question in your final paragraph. Guilt will eat you alive from the inside out. Coupled with selfishness, it will be devastating to you and those you care about and vice versa.

You're breaking his heart by pushing him away and burying your head into the ground thinking that no one can see you..

Hopefully that was helpful.

[mid]

Instead of pushing away, push forward and enjoy (even with the fear of the changes) the time with your relationship. The relationship is changing, either way. The use of breaking heart to describe this choice is revealing the inner struggle you are facing whether you're ready or not.

[Kevcules]

I'm currently in a similar situation but I'm a man and my emotions are running rampant and not sure what to do either ......... I won;t be doing what you're thinking either.
If you think breaking his heart is a good thing , think again! Work with him and let him know how much he means to you. Don't try to get better alone, it doesn't work! What would you do ,and how would you feel ,if he decided to leave you. He has feelings so think about his too, not just yours.

Take care

[Lin]

If your relationship is strong and lasting then it will survive if you need a break and rest for a while. Going on retreat to give yourself head space to think away from pressures is a good idea and you might find your relationship is stronger when you return. If a relationship cannot stand a break for a short while then it may not be the right relationship for you and this will prove it to you both. Perhaps friendship is the way to go with this person at the moment rather than a relationship and standing back and re-evaluating will be good for you both in the long run.