Backwards Step

[raggamuffin]

Hard for me to define a root cause. My therapist and the psychiatrist who did an initial evaluation tried to fixate on what I was feeling when I had my first panic attack. Other than stoned I don't know/remember much else. Other than, as with most people the sense of safety within our own mind/body being shattered after having a panic attack. From there the worry, stress and soon enough the symptoms, aches, pains, frequent Dr visits etc etc.

Whilst i've taken positive steps to reduce stress, avoid a bad diet and understand and accept anxiety the symptoms persist daily. I do my best to keep myself busy and distractions help, but i've never fully gotten over the anxiety it seems. I genuinely can't seem to spot root causes. Had a normal childhood and upbringing. Lovely parents etc. I've always been a worrier and I understand worry burdens the mind with stress and "what if's" which anxiety can feed off of.

If CBT didn't work for you then did you talk to anyone who helped you address root causes?

Ed

Ed

[jad10452]

Hi, I am on my way to recover, i will assure you 1 thing: everybody can fully recover from anxiety. you don't need meds, you don't need therapy. you also need to know that there is no magic cure. i will give you more details if you are interested. believe me, i have been in worse place. Everything is gonna be fine. I promise.

[NixonRulz]

Ed

I personally think that you might be thinking to much into things . Your looking well in the past and looking for what the problem could be now based on that.

I think this is a huge problem with most therapy . You fix the now then go back and work on what may have caused it .

I try and explain what i mean .

Anxiety is not a disorder on its own . Anxiety is the reaction to a disorder , It is the thoughts and fear behind things . I believe that what is behind things is stress and stress alone . As we recover and start to take control over things then the anxiety tones down , we become less scared, less reactive and less worried about the symptoms . But that does not mean that they are not hard to live with and cause us stress. It takes time to come down from such a high , it never just stops over night.

As we become less reactive to the symptoms of a whole, our anxiety drops and stops feeding the stress it causes . As this happens the stress on our body drops and we slowly start to settle .

But this takes time and takes effort on many levels to come about . As this happens things in our life will cause additional stress and increase sysmptoms. It is very important to see thing and to not go looking into the past to much in order to look for the cause of things.

Remember that stress in peoples life will cause you to feel stressed. But in a normal person it is not as bad . But in a person that is recovering from really high stress then it will take a bigger effect .

In the last month - six weeks my symptoms have increased but my anxiety has not . In those weeks i have had the flu , children home from school annoying me, cold weather has increased and to top it all off i have tried to cut my finger off which has stopped me doing alot of things i want. All this has been stressful as i expect that it would be to anyone . But it is important that i understand that it has increased my symptom because my body is still in recovery mode. It is important as hard as it is that i accept this and do things that will help my body heal out of this stressful time rather than feed it with more worry and fears .

I personally believe that a short cause of benzos would help you . It will help get your body settled quicker . I wonder if SSRI would be of any benefit long term and if they would in fact harm your recovery more . But the one thing i would be doing is stepping up the things to help your body recover quicker.

In short i think that you have just hard a really stressful few weeks and are focused on the over all problem than just looking at the stress these few weeks have caused .

Not sure if you ever read my post but this is how i see my anxiety and it might help explain a bit better what i mean

http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showth...My-philosophy&

Remember its not backwards , just a bump in the road .

cheers

Not bad Forwells, not bad at all.

[raggamuffin]

Hi,

Thanks for the reply Forwells. yes I've read the page several times, I do find it helpful. I do try to minizmie stress as much a spossible. I noticed for instance the dizziness virtually entirely subsided on the weekend. I had it a bit whilst gardening but soldiered through and managed 3 whole hours of gardening and felt fine.

Then i wake up this morning early and I start feeling dizzy once more. Even though work isn't overtly stressful it seems that as soon as it hits Monday I feel tired lots and the symptoms seem worse. I'm not trying to associate the weekdays with symptoms because I know that'll just feed my fears. But at the moment i've noticed symptoms do seem worse in the workplace.

I'm trying to think of ways to pro-actively help myself. Get back into exercise more with my firestaffing on lunch breaks and eating more healthily. I try and remain as calm as possible at work and I don't really come accross many stressful situations there.

I'll have a word with my GP tomorrow at my appointment. maybe you're right, a short course of benzos could help reduce stress. I'm not going to ask for an SSRI or anything like that. I don't want to spend months on meds.

Thanks again for the replies everyone.

Ed

[raggamuffin]

Hi all,

Just got back from seeing my GP.He wasn't sure what the cause was or even if what I was describing was in fact dizziness or if I was just using the term because I had no better one to describe what was occuring. Since there has been no actual vertigo, being sick, failing balance etc. He was not outright concerned that it was anything serious.

When I asked him about medication he said that there was little point being on a benzo as it might just make me too indifferent and apathetic to notice or care that I felt "dizzy" and he said no outright to an SSRI as he called them "poisons" with more down sides than good. I admire his viewpoint on them, as I too feel that drugs only ever mask symptoms and never address root causes. He said they were a bit of a blunderbuss when it comes to being effective and aren't really directed at one root cause. Instead they rely on just switching things off in people in the hope the anxiety/depression etc will pass with enough time spent not worrying about it.

"Reality is there for a reason and there's a lot of sharp edges which people may have to face, but it's worth seeing the real world to experience the truly good moments."

It's how I felt when I quit smoking weed and he re-affirmed that for me which is good.

He wasn't really concerned about the symptom or the recent ringing in my ears that i've been experiencing for the past 5 days. He said with anxiety you have to really root out the causes of stress and ill feeling and work a way around them.

So there we have it. In all honesty I wasn't sure what I was expecting from visting my GP. I wasn't so convinced it was any illness as i'd be raitonalizing the whole situation for weeks now. But that leaves me with experiencing symptoms every hour of every day and yet I don't respond with emotions or feeling anxious. It's a bit of a tricky one. I'm not sure if it's worth calling my therapist and seeing if I can sit down and talk with her.

Other than that i'm keen to make my diet a lot healthier, get back into exercising and such. But I'm asking myself now, "Is my body going to remain stressed and giving out symptoms or will it get better in time?" It's been months now since I fully accepted it was anxiety. That happened before Xmas and yet the symptoms continue even whilst I constantly remind myself to rationalize the symptoms and not respond emotionally or fearing it etc. In all honesty I feel like crying, really not sure why. i guess it's a hint that perhaps my mind isn't as calm as i'd like to believe. Or perhaps I just feel a bit helpless at this point.

I'm not really feeling like "I can't go on, i'm scared" etc but I really just don't want to feel this dizziness or disorientation day in day out anymore. Life doesn't seem real like this. It almost feels harder at this stage accepting anxiety, rationalizing symptoms for my body to still not give me more than a moments break from the constant barrage of symptoms for over 5 months.

Sorry if the post is a bit of a downer guys.


Ed

[nf1234]

When I read your last post a few things come to mind. Firstly not all doctors are created equal. I had to bounce around to quite a few until I found one that I really like and that has helped me tremendously. As far as your feelings or dizziness. Have you had any recent colds, allergies, or sinus problems? I have experienced what you have before and it is usually caused by fluid from your sinuses draining into your ear. That is where the whole balance/vertigo control center is. I didn't have full blown vertigo but did experience that odd sort of dizziness. Also grinding and clenching your teeth at night can cause similar symptoms as well as the ringing in the ear. You may not even realize your doing it but it aggravates the TMJ muscle and can give you all kinds of strange feelings. Lastly would be blood sugar. If your blood sugar is dropping too low it would absolutely give you feelings of shakiness, dizziness, anxiety, ect.

Also since your doctor is opposed to meds have you looked into a more natural solution? Have you had bloodwork for things like iron, ferritin, b12, vitamin d, and thyroid levels?

[nf1234]

And your gonna feel beaten down, defeated, and upset at times. We all have our forward steps and our backwards steps. As long as you are looking in the right direction, the positive/im gonna beat this direction, you will prevail. Anytime ive gone to a doctor ive had it sort of planned out in my head how it would go. I've been let down many times and I walk out of there so discouraged. Because they are the ones who are supposed to fix people right? They are the ones who are supposed to give you answers. It can be a big let down but just known that doctors are people just like you and me and some are good at what they do and some not so much.

[raggamuffin]

Hi,

Thanks for your reply. I booked an appointment with a different Dr. The GP yesterday didn't even check my ears, blood pressure or anything. Perhaps a second opinion might be helpful. Immediatley before the dizziness I had a headache lasting over 2 weeks. The GP said it might be a sinus issue. Even though I had no other symptoms etc.

I will have a word with the GP on Friday about blood works and just in general see what he recommends. I'm not knocking the other GP as he can be very helpful, but sometimes I don't think he's thorough enough.

I'm trying to stay as positive as possible and remember not to dwell on the negative. The symptoms are making work rather difficult I must admit. having over a month now of symptoms which are aggrevated by an office working environment isn't helpful for overall mood at work :P

I think the fact it virtually disappeared all last weekend even whilst doing 3 hours of gardening, sweating loads etc made my Doctor think it couldn't be anythign physically wrong. Just have to wait and see I suppose. When i started the gardening I felt very dizzy. but it disappeared within 20 mins and I carried on doing heavy lifting and moving for several hours after.

Ed

[raggamuffin]

Dr gave me anxiety meds. I've held off taking them because he also wrote me a letter allowing me to work in an office without fluorescent lights for 4 weeks which has helped tremendously.

But, as if by magic the dizziness has gone. Guess what's replaced it? The Epididymitis pain which I haven't felt in about 6 weeks. It's actually laughable what stuff my body is putting me through at the moment haha

Ed