Its been a long time since I've dealt with the anxiety-inflicted panic attacks and the "unreal" sensations and the constant obsession over what my body's doing. Thanks mainly to meditation/auto suggestion. (highly suggested for all of you sufferers!!!)
Needless to say, my anxiety has chosen a new victim - my mind. This is probably the most annoying thing I've ever had to face. I constantly develop new fears of losing my mind or developing some kind of mental issue. Its so absurd, for I've always had a relatively healty mind.
Everytime I talk myself out of one irrational fear a couple days later I start worrying about another one and another. The list goes on and on of how many different fears I've dug my way through. I know it's mainly based around the fact that I'm a highly self conscious person with a lot of introspection. I've been told that I'm wise beyond my years many times and that I'm rather profound. (basically I read too much poetry and philosophy and self-help and brain booster books - much regrets)
Everytime I worry, its never anything healthy like whether or not I've can make my bills or whether or not the film we're working on will succeed or whether I need to find a new job, its always something like "will I develop schitzophrenia?" or "I'm not as intelligent as other people, I'll never succeed in filmmaking" or "will I have the temper of my dad when I become one?" or "what if I become a heartless/self centered person" or "I'm not funny enough to ever keep a girlfriend" or "what if I forget how to laugh" And as absurd/juvenile as these things sound, my mind will continuously shuffle through them nonstop until it chooses one that really terrifies me and I zone in on - for days, weeks at a time.
To sum it up: I CONSTANTLY ANALYZE MYSELF... HOURS UPON HOURS of undying self analyzation. The next fear always gets worse than the last... and I'm really tired of it.
I'm only 20 but I used to be a really confident/ambitious guy. This constant worrying has almost broken my knees. I can hardly enjoy any of my passions or life itself anymore.
Guys, it would really ease my mind if I knew somebody else out there dealt with this. Anybody?