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  1. #1

    What does acceptance mean to you?

    I've had agoraphobia for 25 yrs, sometimes better than others. I've been reading that acceptance is the key to over coming this, how do you accept anxiety? I personally hate it! I've lost out on so much in life. I know if I can grasp this or make peace with it, the PA's would lose their hold on me. I know when I'm not having one that they won't kill me or cause me to go crazy but in the middle of a PA all that goes out the window. My counselor & my husband don't understand why I'm still afraid of the symptoms when I know what it is and have had it so long. My husband keeps telling me to accept it

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    17
    I think that acceptance means not stressing when you are feeling anxiety.

    In the past when I felt anxiety coming on, I would think things like "Are you kidding me?" "Why now?" "Of course it would be today!" But I've learned that that's really not the way to deal with it. If you think negative thoughts like those, you are taking the perspective that your body is acting against you. This can lead to an internal struggle that only gets worse, you vs. your body. You can't take the victim standpoint. You can't feel like the anxiety is rendering you helpless.

    I feel like anxiety can be compared to a bully. The more you show that you are bothered by it, the more it will bother you. So in theory, if you begin to take on the point of view that "Yeah this sucks, but I've been through this already several times. I know my hands will be sweaty, I will sound a bit stupid once or twice, I will be sad afterwards, but I also know that I'll get over it."

    Changing my state of mind has worked for me. I've only started to accept it. For me, the less I have let the feeling of anxiety affect me (or make me anxious), the more in-control of it I feel. I think if I can keep this up, I can escape anxiety's tight clutch.

    When I first started this transition of state of mind, I often found myself reverting to my old ways, and blaming my body for going against me. But you learn to control that internal battle, and soon you realize that you are capable of winning all the fights. Because when the matchup is mind vs. body, the mind CAN always win. If it actually will win, is up to you. Own your anxiety, and crush it! lol.

  3. #3
    Forwells,

    I never properly thanked you for your help, thank you. I had claire weekes books, carried them until they fell apart. Maybe something just isn't sinking in. I do feel mentally ill, no one seems to understand me that's close to me. I don't understand me, when I start feeling better I go looking for anxiety because after so long it's all I know.

  4. #4
    Agreeing with oneself that you are suffering with these problems with no denial, but also that one day they will be gone.

  5. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Orlando fl
    Posts
    72
    I have accepted the fact that I have anxiety and panic attacks, the only thing I find hard to accept is that my life is not the way it used to be and that hurts a lot. I am trying to accept that this is my life for right now.

  6. #6
    I'm trying to accept my anxiety & agoraphobia. I just said to my counselor the other day that lately my attitude is WTF if I get an attack. Meaning don't worry so much about what will happen (that almost never does) and who cares what people think. Now if I can only keep this way of thinking.

  7. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    4
    Hi, I dont believe that you have understood what true acceptance is all about. I suffered from chronic (house-bound) agoraphobia for 14 years and now I have been free of it for 2 years. Acceptance is not about accepting that you have anxiety but about accepting that you are not in control of it or in fact in control of the many other things in your life. All agoraphobics have serious control issues - many agoraphobics cannot queue AT ALL! They blame their anxiety but the cause of the anxiety in that case is a lack of control and the sheer stress of trying to mentally WILL the queue forwards - the stress of trying to make the whole world behave and conform to your plan and timetable.

    Remember this phrase and repeat it to yourself when you get anxious: "Life on life's terms - not mine". In other words, if it's going to happen it will, I accept that and there is nothing I can do but accept it. Say this to yourself, say it to your anxiety and say it to the world. Acceptance breeds peace and anxiety cannot co-exist with peace.

    Never fight anxiety - just accept it. What choice do you have anyway? Are you not defeated yet? Come on - let go of the fight you lost years ago. Horrible as it is - smile, suffer and accept. And I promise you - it will not be nearly as bad as you think ;-)
    Last edited by MrWinter; 01-14-2014 at 05:59 PM.

 

 

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