Originally Posted by
m123
This is my second post here.
I just wanted to post something whilst my head was in a "less panicking" way.
Derealization... I've had it for about 6 years? Well, I only noticed it 6 years ago maybe. Is it just a perception? I literally struggle to feel connected with reality. I live with it fine mainly because I have come to accept it as being me. But I feel so detached from everything and everyone. I know I love my girlfriend, my mum and my friends and family... but it just doesn't feel real. Well, it does... but not. Derealization is something that can't be explained in my eyes (In my eyes it could lol). Its only since 4 weeks ago that I have felt so bad again... I haven't felt like this for years... Maybe never of felt this bad. I guess that is my severe anxiety that loves to tell me these things though. I haven't had panic attacks this bad ever. But I like to think that I have never felt this bad before mainly because my last "episode" I wasn't as knowledgeable as I am a now bit older now. I don't even know if this is making sense but i hope it is!
My main worry is that it is more than anxiety... To feel as detached as I am, it must be something far worse. I seek reassurance everyday. I can't just go to my doctor and say: "Any chance of arranging a full body scan, tests, etc etc?" I have so many symptoms of so many illnesses. What the %$^& is my life meant for? In no way am I suicidal or thinking to hurt myself. I love my body to much. (Not in a big headed way). Its just thinking long and hard about it... its pretty pointless at the end of the day :/
Anyone that feels the same way as I do or similar... feel free to get in touch with me. No doubt we can give each other some reassurance. More like add more worries to each other lol. (I'm joking).
I just want my sanity back.
Please...