I can hardly leave my *bedroom*.
I find myself stealing food from the kitchen at stupid hours in the morning when my family is asleep, or asking my younger sister to pick me up something.

Um. I did have a therapist. And he was actually pretty decent, didn't try to minimize things or force medication (I have an extremely addictive personality, most psych meds are addictive. Yea you can see why this is bad idea). He.. died of a heart attack a few months ago.
I'm not inclined to try to trust someone else, mostly because of how anxiety disorders are seen as jokes and the whole "you need to come to me" stuff.

I miss my life. I had a social life. I have a girlfriend - why she hasn't left me I don't know. I did reasonably well in school.

Anxiety started to get bad last summer, but didn't hit to this kind of severity until the fall. January-March I was doing reasonably well, then.. yeah. I broke down.

I don't know what to do. I'm seriously considering turning back to my old vices (mostly stimulants, but other stuff too) to get some relief, to be able to be social again.
I want my life back, but I can't even leave my room if there are people outside, let alone my house.

(FYI. I am a girl.)