finally some one who understands

[candy]

hello my name is candy and im 17 years old i don't really know how to begin so well here i go...i started getting this weird feeling of well at the time i didn't know what it was...i just started realizing that when i would go places that i haven't been to in a long time or any knew places by myself that i would feel dizzy and my heart would start racing. I tried my hardest to not think about it but about three years ago is when it really got bad. Im not sure what got it started but i started not being able to go anywhere by myself. I finally got to the point where i couldn't stay the night with my friends and couldn't go to the movies with my friends or anywhere where there is a lot of people. I get this scary feeling that comes over me and my heart starts pounding and i can't breath and the only thing that comforts me is my mom or step-dad. I just admitted to myself that i had a problem and im finally getting help and talkn to some one. I can now go to my friends house and some times to the movies. I still can't drive or go far from my house by myself but i hope that that is something that i can get over cuz i hate missing out on my highschool life. And eventually when i graduate i want to college but i feel that if i can't get over this phobia that going to college will never happen...if some one has any advice or something that they did that helped please just let me know! i was thinking maybe hypnosis and if anyone has tried this and it has help please just let me know! thanks

[Music_lover]

Hey. I know how that is. I hate being alone anymore in new places or places I haven't been to in a while. It helps to have some type of breathing to calm you down. Even knowing whta you have makes it happen less, or so I'm told. It helps too to know you're not alone and that a lot of people get this and feel this way. I'm here if you wanna talk. Sorry I didn't get your IM earlier.

-Holly

[juliana]

Hi Candy. I'm new here and I was touched by your post. The good news is that you have identified your problem and are seeking help. I had severe agoraphobia for 4 years and I didn't realize what it was and seek help until the final year. Within 6 months of starting to work with a therapist, I got my life back. I agree with Holly, breathing techniques can really help. Talk to your parents about finding a CBT therapist to help you. A CBT therapist can talk to you about your fears and give you some practical techniques to help you face those fears.

The thing that helped me the most was "flooding" -- basically making myself go to places and do things that scared me. I had started avoiding things little by little, and eventually I was avoiding everything. It's great that you're seeking help at a time when your panic isn't so severe. I know it feels horrible, but it can get better. So, actually getting back out there and facing situations that scared me was the best therapy. The more you do things that scare the crap out of you, the easier they become. You get through it and it builds your confidence and you realize, "Okay. I did it. It wasn't pleasant but I survived." And the next time you do it, it will get easier. There are always setbacks, but try not to be too discouraged. It does get better. I promise.

You sound like a wonderful, intelligent young woman and your future has so much to offer. I went from being so agoraphobic I was afraid to leave my flat -- even stepping outside would fill me with panic -- to being part of the world again. I started travelling again this summer. I even flew to Chicago and interviewed a rockstar. I'm about to start a new job where I will be a media contact for a university. I'll admit I'm scared, but I'm excited too. I still get panic attacks, but they're not as bad as they used to be, and I won't let them stop me from living my life.

If you can't find a CBT therapist right away, check your library for books on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. You can read about how other people have dealt with the very same fears you have and learn some techniques to make scary situations less scary. Deep breathing and identifying and challenging your fearful thoughts are very effective for most people. And remember, don't be embarrassed about talking about your fears. The more you admit your fears out loud and talk to other people, the more you'll realize you're not alone, and the easier it will be for you to challenge those fears... and there is help available. This doesn't have to be a life sentence.

Yoga was very helpful for me too. It helped me get better control of my breathing in stressful situations (and also tightened up my butt - BONUS!)

Google "breathing techniques for anxiety" and click on the first result, then click on "How to Breathe Properly." There are step-by-step directions on deep-breathing techniques you can practise to calm yourself in situations where you're feeling anxious.

Best of luck to you and feel free to reach out if you ever need someone to talk to. I'm happy to help in any way I can.

[doomsday]

My fear started when I was school, I don't even like to admitt this but I was bullied at school, pretty much day in day out, alot of just seemed to be down to my shyness. I actually had alot of friends and was kind of popular, but that just seemed to make the bullying worst, I did kind of feel like I was been singled out. I just feared going to school so much in the end that the thought of going made me phyiscally sick, my stomach still turns over now I guess with the fear of been in a simliar stuiaution. The whole thing at school just seemed to go compleatly out of control, I did stand up for myself sometimes when I could alot of times I could thought, these people where dangerous, some of them carried knifes round to protect themselfs, they seldom every operated alone. The final thing that kind of pretty killed me was actually been attacked on my way home from school, I did'nt even know the guys they from a different year in school. I never went out with friends afterwards and was scared to leave the house, scared because so many of the people at school seemed to have in for me. I did start college in the city, the whole thing started to repeat itself only much worst because i had no friends there, I do feel really sad and angry about some of the stuff that happened, but I don't regret leaving. Its kind of sad because the school life and the college life of what other people have had is like so much better, I wish I could of had what other people had, but i believe people will always single me out and treat me this way. The thing is with me I can feel sometimes compleatly safe around people because they don't actually know me at all, years have pasted since all the stuff happened and i live in a village now, people say hi and are nice. The thing that I fear thought is when people start to ask questions about what you do and about yourself, I have always been something of a 1 off, the things I say and do no other word but eccentric to discribe them. I seriously feared been probed by people, that when they find out about everything about all this they are going judge me and things are'nt going to be nice. In the past i've chatted to people online, nearly always feel to scared in the end to talk anyone, theres been so many times its turned out badly, i'm just not the same as everyone else but the thing is i don't even want to be, it seems kinda boring to me! i'm actually not unhappy, just get depressed when i get the same old predictable reactions from people, guess it makes me angry too.

well a great load of rambling nonsense that was, hope it might be some use to you thought