Lost

[cheesehead24]

Over the past two years I have really took a turn for the worst. Things were good but also bad. I went away to college like I promised myself I would, but this was the first time I've ever been gone from home and my parents for longer then 2 weeks. I have this huge fear of dying and also my dad dying. I am very close with my dad and I panic when I think about the day that he won't be here and I literally think I'll go insane. So without seeing him and my mom I freaked. I'm the manager of our schools volleyball team so we were gone every single weekend and I never got to see my parents. I would have terrible thoughts and panic and make myself almost sick. I didn't give up though I stayed at school. By now it's summer and in two years I have gained 50 pounds and practically afraid of my own shadow. People always tell me I'm really funny pretty and a great friend, sometimes people I don't even know. But me, I feel like I am a worthless ugly fat piece of shit... :'(

[alankay]

Where are with treatment? Seen a good doc.? Alankay

[cheesehead24]

I haven't done anything. My parents are really hard on my they are the type of people that don't think anything is wrong with you unless you have a bone sticking out. Nothing mental can ever be wrong with us. It's like I've almost trained myself to think that I'm just full of it because thats what my parents keep telling me. I'm not an attention whore so why would they think I'm doing this for attention? I'm not. I have no self esteem and i think I'm worthless, why would I make that up?

[MizKida31]

I feel the same way. My parents believe our family is perfect that nothing is wrong with us. They don't want to accept the reality that I may have a mental problem. They only think that its a phase or I'm just full of it. To me I think they know deep down but it's just hard for them to accept the truth.