Starting to become agoraphobic...

[brittany09]

I have GAD,and usually manage it just fine. I've started having panic attacks,higher levels of anxiety,and a little depression sometimes. Because of the panic attacks,I'm not wanting to leave my house. I'm not doing things I need/want to do because I'm afraid. I've stopped shopping,driving,visiting friends and family that are more then 10 minutes away from me. I thought my increased anxiety came out of nowhere,but now that I think about it there are reasons why that happened. Fighting with my boyfriend and not being able to find a job being the 2 main problems. I have some decent days and nights,but even just thinking about leaving my house makes me anxious. I get just as anxious thinking I'm missing out on things. I also don't want to be alone. I get so anxious when my boyfriend leaves for work. But he is the only person I feel safe around,so I don't want anyone else near me. While he's at work I just try to get through the day. It's been a month now. These agoraphobic feelings are really confusing and hard to deal with. I felt fine,or so I thought for a long time and now out of the blue here I am. I'm the type of person that can't stand staying in the house for more then a day at a time. I love being social. My personality is changing.

Can anybody relate? Or has anybody been agoraphobic at some point and got through it? I want to get past this before it gets worse.

[forwells]

Howdy Brittany .

Look i hate these titles and labels that they like to call things . You are you and thats all.

Ask yourself this . If you had a cold , lets say the flu , the worse one you had . Would you feel like going out and doing every thing . No you would feel like staying home and resting . So why is it any different that now you feel like shit and you want to stay home .

Stop beating yourself up , stop telling yourself you have to do this or that . But in saying that there is a fine line between becoming fearful and staying home because of that . Your brain is anxious and if you tell it that you are scared to do this or that it will remember this and it will then react to it with flight and fight next time you do it . It is a circle you dont want to get stuck in .

You personality is not changing . It is reaction to something you havent felt before .

I was and always have been a loner sort of person , like my own company . Use to live 37 klms from town in the bush . When my anxiety hit i had to move to town and i would call my wife home from work everyday because i could not handle being alone .

Sit down and write down all the thoughts you are thinking behind this . I am sure one of them in there will be that you are scared to be alone . This is feeding it .

Now i know that you may not want to visit friends or go shopping or what not . Well go out and just take a nice walk . Its ok to what to be alone. But you also need to push things . The more you tell yourself you cant do the more your brain will react when you try . And it is a fine line and one only you can work out .

Panic attacks suck . But you can stop them fast by
1 ) getting your stress down . Meditation , breathing , learning to relax , learning what to take on and what can wait .
2) Addressing the fearful thoughts you are telling yourself .
3) by understanding that it is not the staying at home that is keeping them at bay , they can and do happen anywhere . Whats keeping you there is because you feel safe . So address the thoughts behind feeling unsafe . Your anxiety is tricking you thats all and you have to play it at its own game .

Read a book called DR Weekes Hope and help for you nerves - Its explains this well .

cheers kev

[brittany09]

Thanks Kev,again. I feel RIDICULOUS talking about this so much but it's not something I'm used to. Not this bad. My only problem is just feeling unsafe anywhere which I know is dumb. I just don't want to end up locked in my house for months. Like I said I never stay in the house. I have made some progress. At least I can eat and sleep normally. There are times when I start to feel better,and feel not as good again. I just need to push myself to do things.

[hopeNfaith88]

I also feel ridiculous brittany. I can really identify with you 100%. We seem to be experiencing all of the same symptoms. I feel embarassed this is even happening to me. Its so different from how i used to be. Scares me that this could just come out of nowhere and it makes me all paranoid that a physical illness is fueling it

[Buttercup]

I can relate as well. I am now 32 but when I was a teenager I had a great time- nothing really bothered me, I was incredibly sociable, always out and about, would happily drive any distance or use public transport and so on. That was all taken away from me when I became anxious in my early 20's. I started getting panic attacks and ended up house bound because I was so scared to go out the front door incase I had a panic attack. I would start feeling so unwell as soon as I set foot outside the front door. The only place I felt safe was my house but after months of being in-doors I became very depressed as I felt so abnormal. I was lucky though as my parenst eventually realised what was going on and got a house visit for me from a GP. I started meds and got therapy (the therapist came to the house for the first few weeks as i was unable to travel to my sessions). Eventually things started to get better- I took lots of "baby steps" and that was the key. Like I would leave the house for 5 minutes and just walk round the corner until I felt comfortable with that, I would then move on to going to the local shops- having a quick walk around, next time I would spend longer there and so on. It was a long process though but things did get better. I learned relaxation techniques, went to a support group and learned how to cope with my irrational fears. That was over ten years ago now and since then I have had a couple of relapses and am currently off work and back in therapy. Again though I am re-learning relaxation techniques and looking again at causes of my anxiety and how to challenge it.
While meds have helped to an extent the most beneficial treatment for me is therapy. I was not equiped to deal with this myself and did not possess the tools to get over it- therapy has helped me with this. Are you seeing anyone to get through this? If not then I am sure it would help if you did.
Good luck and please don't feel ridiculous or embarrassed- situations like this are more common than you think and beating yourself up about it won't help. It took me a long time to accept who I was and to even like myself again after my initial period of anxiety but once I did things got easier.