People not seeing you for who you are

[shoe]

Does this cause many of you to feel depressed? It sure does bring me down sometimes, when people judge me to be something I'm not and treat me poorly or talk down to me. It's really frustrating having to deal with and accept these types of people.

Just because I act differently then others, or may not join in certain social events or be more outspoken doesn't mean I'm a 'certain' type of person. Noone should try to categorize another person, but it sure makes living in and accepting the world so much more easier. People like things nice and tidy and organized in neat little packages. To understand and be open and accepting of others takes a bit more effort and compassion and humanity than most people are willing to give. I try to be understanding myself, but it's so hard when people are beating you down to be willing to accept the limitations in them which prevent them from accepting the concept that maybe, just maybe, I really am more than I appear to be.

dan

[Fear]

You know what?I'm always angry if someone treats me bad or differently or ask me question about what I do how I have fun,given I'm different.You gotta speak clearly,to me honesty is the best thing.You gotta tell them what you're all about.I think always that everybody has problems;ours it's just this,to be anxious.They gotta accept you for what you are if they don't,then ok go away,I don't need you!!Live for yourself.When your down,there's no one there telling you:"Be brave".You gotta tell them which are your plans for your life,everybody dreams and say:"You know,I wanna do this.If I can do it,ok.If I can't I'll keep on trying."Don't make them let you down,fight!Try to do something to take everything out of your chest.If music makes you feel well like me,then lsten to it.Keep your mind busy with stuff that you like and dedicate your life to.Speak clear!Be yourself!

[shoe]

Fear, good advice, thanks for your input. Problem is its not easy to speak clearly and tell people how things are, thats one of the bonuses of anxiety. I have trouble thinking clearly and speaking intelligently and focusing on what I'm saying while anxious... so a lot of the time I just can't explain why I am the way I am or that I have anxiety or that I can't do things because of it.

It'd be great to say 'if you dont understand, then just blow', but in a work situation you can't do that - you need to work with these people day in and day out.. and that's mainly what made me post what I did - people in my workplace just are so judgmental and quick to assume they know things about you, plus all the dumb corporate politics and grade school behavior that goes on, it all just frustrates the heck out of me. Outside of work I don't see many people so its a nice relief to be away from this atmopshere for a while.

Anyway, I did actually confront one of these ignorant people this week who decided to 'file a complaint' about me to a boss over some stupid time issue. For some reason people like to target me because of their dislike for me. But there's only so much crap I will take before I just let loose. I actually wasn't too sure if I'd lose my job by standing up for myself, but I did push myself to confront everyone that needed to be confronted about some of these negative things being said about me behind my back. Felt good hehe, but further pissed one or two people off. Oh well! Might not make any friends here, but at least I feel better about myself.

[klb]

I try not to take stuff sooo personal from others...but on the otherhand, some cannot be excused.. :wink:

[Fear]

you know,I was that way once but I got better.I started to calm down in every way and tried to keep control of my hands shaking everytime.It was horrible,my hands shook no control and I had to hide them.But I tired of that and I begin to take control of my reaction a little bit.Sometimes,though it's really hard,no matter what I can do.My symptoms change,if I can't shake than my voice goes low if I talk or I stammer a little.
I'm sorry,I don't know about the work atmosphere,if you read what I wrote in the social disorder session you'll understand,what is me.
I've found out that to avoid that people go against you and be mean to you,you gotta show them that you are the only person who they could trust.At school,I didn't judge anyone,I made my own business,and I was always willing for others.Nobody could speak bad about me,they would have been the ones to be shit,if there was someone telling something bad about me I told them in their face.Then if they hated me it was better,they stayed far from me.I can't stand people disrespecting me!
Sometimes I said things clearly and they all got shocked!But it's ok,I like to shock them.
You just gotta think it's your life,you don't gotta be like they want you to be.It's not fair.
If what happens at work affects you so much even when you're quiet at home,than try to don't care.WHat is your job about,how much hours do you do?I'll help you.

[klb]

you know,I was that way once but I got better.I started to calm down in every way and tried to keep control of my hands shaking everytime.It was horrible,my hands shook no control and I had to hide them.But I tired of that and I begin to take control of my reaction a little bit.Sometimes,though it's really hard,no matter what I can do.My symptoms change,if I can't shake than my voice goes low if I talk or I stammer a little.
I'm sorry,I don't know about the work atmosphere,if you read what I wrote in the social disorder session you'll understand,what is me.
I've found out that to avoid that people go against you and be mean to you,you gotta show them that you are the only person who they could trust.At school,I didn't judge anyone,I made my own business,and I was always willing for others.Nobody could speak bad about me,they would have been the ones to be shit,if there was someone telling something bad about me I told them in their face.Then if they hated me it was better,they stayed far from me.I can't stand people disrespecting me!
Sometimes I said things clearly and they all got shocked!But it's ok,I like to shock them.
You just gotta think it's your life,you don't gotta be like they want you to be.It's not fair.
If what happens at work affects you so much even when you're quiet at home,than try to don't care.WHat is your job about,how much hours do you do?I'll help you.

I feel you are who you are, people either accept it or they dont....

[Fear]

yeah,is like everyone act like that.The advice "be yourself" is the best really.It's not worth it to worry when no one else does,uh?

[klb]

yeah,is like everyone act like that.The advice "be yourself" is the best really.It's not worth it to worry when no one else does,uh?

always! be yourself.....

[shoe]

perhaps I should have been more clearer about my disorder - I have social anxiety disorder, which deals with fears about what others think of me and how I feel I am portrayed to them, and how I act in social settings. While I could certainly *try* to 'just be myself', thats a statement thats akin to someone saying 'just get over your anxiety'. I can only truly be 'me' in the absence of anxiety.

Anyway, regarding taking things personally.. I honestly try not to take it personally - that is, *outside* of the situation, where I can gain better perspective of things. But when you are stuck inside a situation day in and day out where people constantly judge you poorly and treat you poorly, well, I don't think many people could wade through that muck and not be affected in some way.

Well, I'm only going to be here a few more months, so for now I'm gonna bite my tongue and try to stay away from these people

[Fear]

THat's just happens to me!Sometimes,though,I can feel magically comfortable and stuff,that's rare though.Sorry I wanted to help you and I just said bullshit;it's hard to find a solution and give only advices.