Hello, first time here

[Lexie1425]

Hello,
This is my first time here to this site. I am not one to usually go to forums and talk about myself, but my husband suggested that I talk to others about my anxiety, so here goes. I have been struggling with anxiety since college. I am now in my mid twenties. My mother passed away unexpectedly almost a year and a half ago and I just got married last June. When in college, I spoke with a counselor about my anxiety and decided to go onto medication. So I began taking Zoloft. After graduating college and starting my career, I felt great and decided to get off the medicine. After four months, I started having anxiety again and went back on medicine. After being on Zoloft and then switching to Lexapro for a total of almost three years, my husband and I discussed that I was strong enough to give it another try of getting off the medicine. That was last December. I did great for three months. Beginning in March, I started to have bad anxiety again. I'll have a few bad days where I will have anxiety episodes, hard time breathing, chest tightness, stomach ache, lose of appetite, back pain, racing mind and thoughts, and pure panic. But then I will have a few good days. The past few days have been bad. I can't seem to get past it. My mind instantly says "go to the doctor and get medicine!" But I don't want to take that route. I know I can overcome this, I'm just not sure how. It's to the point now where it is affecting my life greatly. I get panic attacks in stores which makes me rush home, I get anxiety when I am driving which makes me want to avoid driving, fun things planned with friends I dread. My husband and I are taking a trip to Europe this summer and I want to be able to enjoy it and not worry about anxiety.

I'm sorry this is so long. It feels really good to be able to tell my story and I hope that I can talk with others that have similar experiences and what has helped get you through. Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

Lexie

[Dave G]

"My mind instantly says "go to the doctor and get medicine!" But I don't want to take that route."

I know how you feel. I've been suffering from anxiety for years now, and it's gotten especially worse the past year and a half, which brought me here. It does feel good to get stuff off of your chest - it helped me a lot to tell my story here. And believe me, this post isn't long lol mine took 2 posts because I reached the limit on the first post.

What exactly causes your anxiety? Personally, I get anxiety mainly from self-consciousness, loneliness and fear of failure. You said that you're married - to me, then, it seems that acceptance isn't your issue because you've already found the person you'll spend your life with. The severity of my anxiety varies from day-to-day, and I'm still struggling with finding ways to overcome it. I haven't seen a professional (yet?) and I'm trying to handle it on my own through research and talking about my feelings on this forum. Like you said, I don't want to take the medication route - I think because, to me, that is admitting that anxiety has won and I've resorted to being dependent on something other than myself. Like I said, I'm still struggling so I can't offer much advice, but I can almost certainly relate to the issues you're having and will be here if you need to talk or want a different perspective.

Best of luck,
Dave

[Lexie1425]

Thanks Dave for responding. It is nice to talk to someone who understands what I am going through. My husband has been so supportive and has had anxiety before himself, but not to the level that I have, so its hard at times for him to understand exactly what I am feeling. I think my anxiety is fear that something is wrong with me. Whenever I get anxiety, my mind races to the worst. It can happen anywhere too -- in the car, in a store, at a restaurant, at work, at home. The past few days have been very hard with having anxiety a lot. Yesterday it was most of the day and I was just miserable. It is better today, which feels good. How often do you experience anxiety? Are their certain places that you get it more often?

I do agree that medicine is kind of like giving in and it is definitely not something that I want to resort to. I have before and it was like a band-aid, fixed the anxiety for the most part but I do not feel that I faced my anxiety and found ways to cope with it. Medicine was my way to cope, which is why I am feeling so much anxiety right now I believe. It's a very hard situation.

I guess when I was in college and having anxiety, my mom bought some books on anxiety, which I found recently and have just started to read. It's very interesting and insightful (what I have read so far, I am not very far into the book at all). But the authors talk about how their anxiety and panic attacks were the best thing that happened to them because they learned how to cope and live without medicine and are living a much happier and healthier life. I am not doing the book justice but it is so promising to hear that and I hope you find some comfort in that as well.

Well, thanks again for replying. It's really nice to be able to talk to someone.

Lexie

[LynneeaAlicia]

Lexie,

My name is Lynneea I have struggled with anxiety for years, but it was always manageable. I never needed drugs until recently and I hate it. I am one of those people who thinks she can fix everything. I don't need drugs mind over matter, but unfortunately my anxiety makes me incredibly sick. I am light headed all the time, can't concentrate, shaky and many other things. I just started buspar last week. I am not sure if it will work, but I am willing to try it. I am not a depressed person. I have a great life a beautiful daughter, but I need to get my anxiety under control so I can actually be there for her. If I can't take her to the park to play then I am not doing so great. I hope you feel better soon. Let me know how it goes


Lynneea

[browneyemee65]

I am new here too and my situation is exactly like yours. The constant fear of a heart attack is the worst. I also had it about five years ago and was good and went off meds a year ago. A few months ago i had some stressors and it has come back with a vengence. I started back on meds a week ago and its helping a bit. My husband is also supportive and had mild anxiety but its hard for him to fully understand how debilitating it is. I am glad i found this site and it helps to read the posts from people who undersrand. Thanx

[Lexie1425]

Lynneea,
I totally understand wanting to get anxiety under control. My husband and I would like to start having children in the next two years and I wonder, how am I going to have kids if I can't even control my anxiety? It scares me. I really want to get my anxiety under control so it is not running my life. I feel like it is right now. I don't know much about different anxiety medicines, just the ones that I was on, so I have never heard of buspar. How do you like so far? I hope you are feeling better as well.

browneye,
Even though I am only in my twenties, I thought I was having a heart attack since heart problems run in my family. I actually went to the doctor just so she could tell me that my heart was fine. I do feel better now that I visited the doctor, but my anxiety that something is wrong still is there, even though I know it is just in my head. I have had pretty bad anxiety the past few days and it has been exhausting me. Have you been doing anything these past few months that you have had anxiety that has helped?

Lexie

[browneyemee65]

Hey Lexie
I know what you are going through. I wish i had an answer but i dont. I dont have mine under control. I am trying citripolam and xanax right now but it is helping but the anxiety is still there. I get panic attacks many times a day. Right now in fact. I am getting ready for work and am freakin out. It seems like i cant think about anything else just this all consuming anxiety. I came here too looking for answers. I really hate this. Look forward to your reply.
Karrie

[Lexie1425]

Hi Karrie,
I really hate anxiety too. I find myself looking at different posts on here and am trying to get ideas to make this better. But it is pretty miserable. Anxiety is really confining my life right now which I know it should not be, but I can't get out of it. Do you feel that way too? My husband keeps telling me, think about other things, don't let it run your life. But it's so much easier said than done! I do have to say, I found a post (a very long but helpful one) on here from a girl that told about what she did to help her and I do want to look into the things she tried. One thing that she suggested was chamomile tea, which I just ran out to the store today (which of course I had anxiety in) and bought some. So, here's to hoping that helps. I wish I had more answers too. But maybe helping each other get through it will be helpful too.

Lexie

[browneyemee65]

Hi Lexie
I agree with you on how it takes over your life. On bad days it seems to be all i can think about. I know you dont want to go back on medecine, i too tried for months not too. I felt like if i didnt do something soon i would lose my mind. Reading posts on here helps alot and its nice to have friends you can relate too. Maybe you should consider meds again. You will have to let me know how the tea works out for you. Try to avoid caffeine. It helps too.. Have a good night and heres to an anxiety free tomorrow. Talk to you soon.
Karrie

[cac17]

Hey,

reading your stories make me feel identified. It is like viewing my experiences in other people lives.

One of the things i've pointed as an anxiety "trigger" is the over-thinking.
However, there are unconscious triggers that are a bit difficult to identify by myself.
Sometimes i feel normal, i have a good time, and then i start feeling fear, and to see the world dangerous and feel threatened for many things that, logically speaking, are the everyday situations any human being has to deal with.

I also feel fear of driving, however, when i'm doing it i kind of gain strength and do it well (or at least that's what i think ), but the fear comes from the anticipation, the thousands of ideas that go around my head when i know i have to do it.

Lately, as i'm finishing school, my source of anxiety has come from the fact of knowing i'll have more responsibility in my hands, and i need to make the right decisions to be better, professionally speaking. Thinking about the future just sends me straight to a vortex of anxiety, and the only way of stopping it (when i'm able to) is simply not thinking about it, and try to live with what is in front of my eyes.
However, i need to get better, so i can finally do the things i need to do.

I think i need to develop an efficient way to cope with my anxiety. What i've done since i stopped taking Sertraline, was to define and separate each one of the pieces of the situation that is making me feel bad, and to logically think how to resolve it.
It doesn't work with everything, but it does help.
Also, relaxation, to hear good music, and taking deep breaths, have helped me with the physical experiences (shortness of breath, lightheadedness, that paralyzing energy that goes through my limbs and back, digestive symptoms, increased heart rate, etc.)


I really hope i can find a way to cope with it. Since it is a situation that is going to be present, always, i need to keep it under control.