Yea so I've really lost my marbles and need help with this.

I can hardly leave my *bedroom*.
I find myself stealing food from the kitchen at stupid hours in the morning when my family is asleep, or asking my younger sister to pick me up something.

Um. I did have a therapist. And he was actually pretty decent, didn't try to minimize things or force medication (I have an extremely addictive personality, most psych meds are addictive. Yea you can see why this is bad idea). He.. died of a heart attack a few months ago.
Yeahhh...
I'm not inclined to try to trust someone else, mostly because of how anxiety disorders are seen as jokes and the whole "you need to come to me" stuff.

I miss my life. I had a social life. I have a girlfriend - why she hasn't left me I don't know. I did reasonably well in school.

Anxiety started to get bad last summer, but didn't hit to this kind of severity until the fall. January-March I was doing reasonably well, then.. yeah. I broke down.

I don't know what to do. I'm seriously considering turning back to my old vices (mostly stimulants, but other stuff too) to get some relief, to be able to be social again.
I want my life back, but I can't even leave my room if there are people outside, let alone my house.

(FYI. I am a girl.)

My issues are very similar. I'm not a girl, but I too avoid my family as much as I can. I think I was born with mental problems, but I've hit such a decline recently that I just feel like I've lost my mind. I find it near impossible to pull any motivation from anything I once enjoyed. I have panic attacks so often that I dropped every college course but 1 ( out of 8). I've also been fired from several jobs and also quit multiple jobs due to panic attacks. Last night I got up and left during the middle of my girlfriend's family dinner. I couldn't handle it.

I have seen a counselor before. I took his prescription and his advice. Fail. He prescribed me Trazodone I believe. Whatever it was it never helped. I'm also 21. I don't drink. Any amount of alcohol can send me into a spiraling depression.

In other words, I know how you feel. I'm sorry, it sucks. I may be a bad mentor given that I may be a lost cause, but I want to mention something...
No matter how bad you're anxiety gets you MUST work on halting or curing it, because it will build up until it's too much for you to handle. I think about suicide like every other thought. It's a constant trial of should or shouldn't I. Pros and cons. The pros are there, but the will to live isn't. I have a baby on the way with my girlfriend. If that doesn't motivate you to live what will? So like I said, help yourself or find help! As quickly as possible. I'm making a doctor appointment as soon as I can. I also have dental work soon, but I'm giving life every bit of effort i have left that my mind will allow me to put out. It may be my last chance. Let's get our lives back, or at least try.

Good luck!

( out of 8 )*

I know it's tough, but you should try to find a new therapist. A lot of therapists offer a free phone consultation. That might give you the chance to at least chat with ken a bit before you make the decision to go see one.

You haven't lost your marbles and you aren't alone. This isn't as rare as you might think and people do get better. Best of luck.

I know exactly how you are feeling. I'm not a woman, but I did suffer from high anxiety and still do from time to time. I know it can be really hard to go out and interact with people, especially because you're feeling like your heart is racing, your palms are sweating, and your head is spinning. I had those symptoms which basically made me stay home all day and not go out for anything. My girlfriend at the time kept urging me to leave the house and get a breath of fresh air. "Go out with friends, let’s go to the movies, let’s go to the gym," is what she would tell me. Of course I would refuse and she would get mad.

At times I would even think to myself, how did I get through high school?? I felt so out of touch with the world that I also felt like I was losing my marbles. What I started to realize was that the times I did interact with people, I would feel just fine. Like it was not that big of a deal. You see, what I came to realize was while I was in the moment doing things like having a casual conversation, or laughing with family members, is that sometimes I actually enjoyed it. I came to the conclusion that the problem wasn't interacting or being afraid of people, it was getting to that point that was difficult.

The transition phase between being by yourself and feeling like you need to psyche yourself out or take a deep breath just to go out and talk to someone was the real issue. So what I started doing was purposely leaving my room our house just to interact with people. You see, the more you do something that makes you truly uncomfortable, the more you train your sub-conscious to accept these things. You're telling your mind, "hey we're going to do this whether you like it or not!"

This certainly isn't easy, but it must be done. A lot of actors have even admitted to suffering from anxiety, and confessed that the way they overcame it was through constantly engaging in it... What a better way than to act in front of a camera. My point is that you have to face your fears and overcome them at any cost. Constantly challenging our minds is what makes us stronger and more able to cope with life. Think about this and best of luck to you.. :)

Seriously, screw the non rx'd drugs and seek another good therapist. I know it's hard but you are worth it. Trust me it's the best way. Alankay

I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for years and only recently had developed a fear of leaving the house. It is a horrible feeling and I totally understand. I have been physically forcing myself make small trips out to places I feel comfortable and then have been pushing myself a little more each time. I have had to double my meds to do it. But I am getting there. Goodluck.

I know it's hard , but try to get out the house, even if its just for a walk or run, you'll feel so much better after

I feel the same way sometimes yo are not alone!

I also suffer social phobia and only used to leave my home to go to the doctor's! Then one day I told myself that I had to get out of the house each day even if it was for a quick coffee, a bit of shopping ect ect!! It has certainly helped me alot even though I still have a panic attack when I'm out. I'm also at the point where I don't care what people think of me ect ect. I've had my panic disorder, depression ect since the age of 12yrs and am now 45yrs and it never gets any easier. You have to push through your fears. If I can anyone can believe me. Take care... :-) xx