it's really hard for me to make female friends

I've been like this for as long as I can remember. I have more guy friends/acquaintances and I find it harder to click with other women. That's not to say I don't have any female friends because I do. My four oldest friends are all women, but with life being as hectic as it is we've all sort of drifted apart and don't see each other as often or talk as much anymore. Plus they don't live very close to me now.
Lately I've been making a conscious effort to expand my circle a bit and meet some more people. I live with my boyfriend and I would definitely consider him to be my best friend. We're both fairly introverted (me more so) which means most of the time it's just the two of us (especially since both of our families and friends live at least 30 mins to an hour or more away) and nobody else really comes around much which is normally fine by me. But sometimes I wish I had a close friend or two to invite over.
I consider myself to be a nice person, I'm not catty or judgmental, I'm laid back and get along with just about everyone. Since I am introverted I'm also typically very reserved when I first meet someone which probably causes people to assume I'm stuck up or snobby. But that's not really an aspect of my personality that I can change.
What normally happens when I meet a new potential female friend is we'll talk for a bit and then it slowly starts to taper off. I'm not boring, at least I don't think I am, so what could be the reason for this? Any suggestions are much appreciated. My boyfriend thinks it has to do with them being intimidated or jealous of me somehow but I don't know.
I do have mild social anxiety and so this issue is definitely making me feel even more anxious about the fact that it's so hard for me to find female friends.

I'm terrible at making friends. I'd offer you my friendship but I'm male. My problem, I think, is that I rarely smile and seem cold-natured. People say I should change that but that's how I look. Do they want me going around with a creepy ass fake smile on my face? I think not.

Equiiaddict, I have seen this before, and I treat this often, and one of the recurring things in reference to connecting with other women, can be a ISE (initial sensitizing event) a time where something happened to you, or someone close to you in the past, that effected you. this comes out often, when I do regression therapy. when you find yourself, in a social group and you feel the feelings of anxious, anxiety, or shutting down from others, check your body mechanics, is your breath shallow, is your body muscles contracting.is your chin hanging towards the chest, is your shoulders slumping. these are behaviors of depressive thoughts, slow down your breathing, and place your body mechanics in a positive, by pulling back your shoulders chest high, think about people who go to the gym, wonderful therapy, when you do a chest press or lat pull downs, what happens, it pulls your shoulders back, a positive body position, then what you are listening to upbeat music, then what, your thoughts are clear and positive. I hope this was positive for you, and if you should want more mental exercises to clear your mind, feel free to contact me. :))))

It appears Forrestnlp@G knows their stuff, so it would pay to take their advice.

Patience is key; Go out and trying too hard to make them might be a bad idea.
We all have a path set for us, Try not to worry.

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Originally Posted by equiiaddict

What normally happens when I meet a new potential female friend is we'll talk for a bit and then it slowly starts to taper off. I'm not boring, at least I don't think I am, so what could be the reason for this? Any suggestions are much appreciated. My boyfriend thinks it has to do with them being intimidated or jealous of me somehow but I don't know.

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Let me offer some tactical advice. First of all your boyfriend is probably wrong about people being intimidated/jealous, but his heart is in the right place if he is trying to help you feel better.

Have you read the book 'How to Win Friends and Influence People?"?

I ask because you said, "I'm not boring, at least I don't think I am...", which indicates that you probably have lots of activities and interests that you talk about. Talking about yourself and your own interests isn't the best way to make friends.

What that book goes over is that most people are very interested in themselves, so if you become interested in THEM, then they will like you more and more.

You can think about your own life. When someone is asking you questions and is deeply interested in what you are saying, how do you react?

You probably like them a bit more without even realizing it.

Now I'm sure you are a friendly person and are fun to be around, I'm just offering advice that has helped me in the past when it comes to making friends. I know it gets harder and harder to make friends as we get older (i'm in my early 30's!).

Hope that helps!

Equiiaddict, I'm the same way. I have always had trouble making female friends and the ones I'm closest with (there's really only 3 now), they have all moved away or are busy with kids. It's funny because my boyfriend also lives with me and we are both very introverted. For men it's so easy, all they have to do is meet another guy, talk about sports and then they're like brothers. Women are constantly competing against one another so it's harder for us I think. Women seem to make close friends "easily" during certain parts of their lives: childhood, school, when having kids, and ... idk there's probably more but you get the idea.

I read once that the way people make friendships is by being consistent - get involved in something (a hobby, volunteer work, a church if thats your thing) and be consistent about showing up to it. Once people see you and interact with you regularly (just like in school - you saw the same kids every day) then friendships start to form.

There are several reasons a girl could have trouble making female friends. I would however suggest the most likely reason is a habit of believing "it's difficult to make friends with other females." Every time you get an opportunity to make friends with a new lady bro you might have anxious thoughts of how you aren't good enough and avoid actually trying to make friends. This limiting belief could be sabotaging you.

I had a girlfriend who claimed to be incapable of making female friends. She didn't even want to change this belief because she used it to protect her ego. She was extremely insecure and addicted to male attention. She was just worried competing women would steal the attention from her and damage her fragile ego even more. Not saying that's exactly what you are going through but I hope it helps move into a more positive direction that leads to quality friendships with everyone.

Bump to say that as long as you surround yourself with good people that care about you, you're good :) I thought of that saying where it speaks of quality or quantity, but I understand that having a girl to connect to feels important. I would say don't rush too much, but do what you can to start now. Maybe casually wear something from a show you like and see if you have any takers xP