Not sure if I can stand this anymore.

Hi there. I've posted on this thread a few times before but just as a refresher, I'm 16. Almost 17. And I've been living with chronic anxiety for nearly 7 months. They have been the worst of my life. Most of my anxiety centers around my health so at any given moment I'm not sure whether the symptoms I have are a product of my anxiety or because I'm dying of an undiagnosed illness. Since last August, I've had two CBCs done, both of which came back perfectly normal. Two ECGs, both of which came back perfect normal. But my anxiety comes in cycles. It will let up for about a month and I can feel relatively normal (ha, normal. What a word) and then for two or three weeks I'll go back knowing I'm dying. I've had concerns over brain tumors, colon cancer, heart attacks, blood clots, you name. Right now my concern is with colon cancer because of a small bit of blood on my stool. Ive been to the doctor once before for this and they said I did have a small fissure and possibly hemorrhoids since I have a family history but they did not check for the hemorrhoids. I keep thinking that because they didn't actually do a colon scope, they may have missed any cancer I might have. Not only that but I intermittent feel as if I can not breath AMD I feel as if any minute I'm going to stop breathing. And there is a pain in both sides that I'm not actually sure is there but I feel like any second it's going to intensity because of some underlying illness. And I feel like, because of how unsupportive my family is, if I were to need to go to the hospital, I wouldn't be able to go. Or I would after the routine yelling and shouting that I'm ridiculous and doing this for attention. Any help would be appreciated at this point. I don't know where else to go.

I have done the exact same thing as you. I would be willing to put a very large amount of trust in a bet that you do not have cancer. I'm pretty sure that any cancer that would be enough to cause blood, would show up in a CBC, in your blood cell count. Your white BC would be high I think. Plus, I think there would be other symptoms too. You're very young for cancer (or really any of the things you mentioned). But, I'm not a Dr. so I can't tell you what you don't have, but I'm pretty sure from all the other anxiety symptoms you mentioned, you are just like the rest of us that worry obsessively over aches and pains.

One thing I will say... DON'T LOOK SYMPTOMS UP ON GOOGLE!!!. This makes people without anxiety think they've got something horrible... let alone those of us with anxiety. Constant 'reassurance' is an extremely common thing with 'anxiety types'. I do it without realizing.

I don't really have any super helpful advice other than what I said. If you're not on meds (try to stay away if you can, it gets to be a pain as you get older). Magnesium, multivitamins, small doses of melatonin (if you have trouble sleeping), exercise, getting out in the sun, (all the things we don't feel like doing when we are panicked or depressed), they all do help. Not having your parents 'on board' with you is going to be hard. But maybe if you sit them down and talk (as in a serious talk), hopefully they will listen and be a little more understanding.

Hi shadow,

Youre perfectly describing hypocondria which is basicly the feor of getting an illness/dying.
so you are more aware what happens to your body and notice tiny things that were probably
there ever but you notice them now or little feelings of pain where there actually isnt,
You could try taking Valerian pills, they are natural and helps to calm down and sleep better
(if the worries keep you awake).
Im also 17 i got hypocondria too + any other anxiety disorder :P

Marc

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Originally Posted by Shadowcat

Hi there. I've posted on this thread a few times before but just as a refresher, I'm 16. Almost 17. And I've been living with chronic anxiety for nearly 7 months. They have been the worst of my life. Most of my anxiety centers around my health so at any given moment I'm not sure whether the symptoms I have are a product of my anxiety or because I'm dying of an undiagnosed illness. Since last August, I've had two CBCs done, both of which came back perfectly normal. Two ECGs, both of which came back perfect normal. But my anxiety comes in cycles. It will let up for about a month and I can feel relatively normal (ha, normal. What a word) and then for two or three weeks I'll go back knowing I'm dying. I've had concerns over brain tumors, colon cancer, heart attacks, blood clots, you name. Right now my concern is with colon cancer because of a small bit of blood on my stool. Ive been to the doctor once before for this and they said I did have a small fissure and possibly hemorrhoids since I have a family history but they did not check for the hemorrhoids. I keep thinking that because they didn't actually do a colon scope, they may have missed any cancer I might have. Not only that but I intermittent feel as if I can not breath AMD I feel as if any minute I'm going to stop breathing. And there is a pain in both sides that I'm not actually sure is there but I feel like any second it's going to intensity because of some underlying illness. And I feel like, because of how unsupportive my family is, if I were to need to go to the hospital, I wouldn't be able to go. Or I would after the routine yelling and shouting that I'm ridiculous and doing this for attention. Any help would be appreciated at this point. I don't know where else to go.

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Other than blood in stool, my situation is almost identical. Except I've been doing this for 20 years. I had a horrible initial onset back when these things weren't really taken seriously outside of mental health professionals. Got it under control and was good for 10 years. Then I had a brief flare up and good for another ten years. Now here I am again, complete with new symptoms that are freaking me out. This new set of symptoms involves pressure in my head,constant lightheadedness, and tingling sensation's on the left side of my face. I'm worried about a brain tumor, or something else affecting my brain. Scared, and barely hanging on.

I can attest with what synner said. Been dealing with anxiety and panic since 07. Even had a 6-8 month stretch of agoraphobia back in 08/09. Got on lexapro and therapy and was doing WONDERFUL! Up until this last Halloween. Ended up in the ER with two ecgs done, complete blood panel and they chalked it up to my anxiety and panic. This time however seems to be just as hard as the first, and very discouraging since I went so long with only 2-3 panic attacks a year to 10-15 in 6 months and anxiety almost daily. I still think at times something is physically wrong, but I do my best to trust in the lord and the doctors. Just know it could be worse and hang in there!!

I am on a very low dose of hydroxisine on an as needed basis and I occasionally supplement with L-theanine. Both of which I took this morning but they didn't seem to help. I've been at work all day which took my mind off things for a while but now that I'm going home again I just keep thinking what if something happens and I don't take it seriously because I think my anxiety causes it and I end up dying?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shadowcat

I just keep thinking what if something happens and I don't take it seriously because I think my anxiety causes it and I end up dying?

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I think this is the absolute worst part of panic / anxiety. Even when you understand the symptoms are panic related, there is always that little voice that says "what if this time it's not anxiety". I keep going over this with my therapist but haven't made much headway with it.

I agree, this is a very insidious part of things. I remember an older guy in his 50's that had had an actual heart attack and prior angina. He was asked how he could tell the difference between the 'real thing' and just panic. He's words were very distinct, he said "YOU KNOW". All the chemicals that let loose from our panic are the same as when something bad does happen... however... there are almost always VERY unmistakable pains and such that go along with the real thing. I have a feeling (and pray) that I will "know" when something is serious. It seems that several severe symptoms will show up at the same time when we're in real trouble.

It really is impossible to reassure someone (or ourselves) all the time. I have to trust in The Lord and if things get really bad, I'll go to the hospital.

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Originally Posted by gcltr777

I agree, this is a very insidious part of things. I remember an older guy in his 50's that had had an actual heart attack and prior angina. He was asked how he could tell the difference between the 'real thing' and just panic. He's words were very distinct, he said "YOU KNOW". All the chemicals that let loose from our panic are the same as when something bad does happen... however... there are almost always VERY unmistakable pains and such that go along with the real thing. I have a feeling (and pray) that I will "know" when something is serious. It seems that several severe symptoms will show up at the same time when we're in real trouble.

It really is impossible to reassure someone (or ourselves) all the time. I have to trust in The Lord and if things get really bad, I'll go to the hospital.

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I've been told the same thing. But that's the problem with subjective experiences. You just don't know for sure until, god forbid, it does happen.

I've made some headway with most of the stuff I mentioned in the original post. The only thing really concerning me now is this weird feeling I have in my stomach and sides. I can't really explain it, but it is causing me a lot of anxiety and panic. Does anyone else get a feeling like this?

Hi Shadow,

Get that ALL THE TIME. (Been getting it for over 10 years).

When you get anxious, it causes your muscles to tighten and sometimes "twitch". Perfectly normal.

Your stomach, intestines, etc.. are controlled by muscles. When they tighten and twitch, you feel it in your stomach and intestines. This is a lot of the causes of IBS, which is a perfectly benign condition.

Important thing to keep in mind... KNOWING the cause, doesn't make it automatically vanish.

I have been stuck on that for years. Even when I know for an absolute fact that all I am experiencing is anxiety, I still get paralyzed by it. I find myself saying "I know this just anxiety, so now it should just go away". Sadly, it doesn't quite work that way. I am told that it is only once you truly accept the feelings for what they, they will start to go away. I am told once you stop caring about them, they won't happen anymore. I keep saying I am told b/c I can't seem to put that into practice, but I understand the concept.

Hope this helps!

Thanks for the reply, anxiousinla
Does the feeling in your sides ever feel like a tickling or an itch on the inside of your body?

Shadowcat,

I know on my most anxious days the muscles in my lower back/sides tighten up extremely taught. This is very common in people with anxiety, you might wake up the next morning feeling like you did a hard workout but in actuality it's just part of your body's reaction to the fight/flight mode.

Josh

It is usually more of an ache/pain.. but I am sure it could be felt as tickling sensation as well.

Thanks for the reply! I think you'll be happy to know that I did get it checked out by my doctor. That's one thing I have going for me, my doctor is extremely supportive of my anxiety. She did a full examination of my ribs and workup of my vitals and didn't find anything wrong and then sent me for a chest x-ray just so I wouldn't worry about it! And funny thing, the chest x-ray came back clear, and a few hours later, the side symptoms I was worried about disappeared.