Devastated to have relapse

Hi everyone, I'm almost heartbroken to be writing this. I have been anxiety and panic free for well over four years now and had fully consigned this illness to my past. But unfortunately, last week following a bout of Flu, it came back and I ended up having a major panic attack followed by an ongoing battle with anxiety.

The mornings are far and away the worst and when everything seems at its bleakest. I am trying to be strong, to not start avoiding situations but it's so tough.

Anyway, thanks for letting me be part of the forum.

Taffy

Im going through the same thing as you, that's why were are here to support each other. I had a relapse after 3 years. Its going to get better again.

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Originally Posted by taffy

Hi everyone, I'm almost heartbroken to be writing this. I have been anxiety and panic free for well over four years now and had fully consigned this illness to my past. But unfortunately, last week following a bout of Flu, it came back and I ended up having a major panic attack followed by an ongoing battle with anxiety. The mornings are far and away the worst and when everything seems at its bleakest. I am trying to be strong, to not start avoiding situations but it's so tough. Anyway, thanks for letting me be part of the forum. Taffy

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Hi taffy and welcome!

Relapse seems to be the song of the day! I'm going through one today...feeling all jumpy and nervous. Haven't felt this off for ages.

It will get better I know and tomorrow I will wake up right as rain.

Hang in there, it's going to be ok.

Cheers!

Taffy, I'm truly sorry to hear about your relapse. I've never been able to even go half that long without one. But, I'm sure it's quite devastating. I know there's been other things in my life, such as addictions, that I've went a couple of years without doing, and had a relapse, and thought I was the most horrible person ever. I wasn't. You are not either. Don't be so hard on yourself. One of my son's was having a major struggle in high school once. He's quite handsome, and joined the football team. The captain of the dance team let him know she liked him, and they started dating. This made the head leader of the football team jealous of my son, and he started bullying him really bad. Ended up having about 15 guys trying to fight my son. Finally one day he snapped and beat the snot out of the bullier. The police came to the school. The parents came. But they didn't press charges after they found out what he had been doing and had been having others doing to my son. But it stressed him out so much he needed counseling. Point of the story is, the counselor told my son something I've never forgotten. She said.. If you never make any foul's your not playing the game. I thought it corny at first. But looked back on my life and all the fouls I had made, and it made a bit more since. Just because we make fouls doesn't mean we're out of the game. Remember that. Try and have a good day, and start over. Dig deep down and grab what strength you can grab a hold of and go with it. Take care, D.

Hey, my new Canada friend. Another one. :) I hate this for you. You're too special to be feeling this way. Read what I wrote to Taffy. I don't know if it will help any, but I'm thinking of you, and I really hope this goes away, and fast. I love it when you're all funny and bubbly. But I understand we all have our days too. I'm here for you hon. Dorrie

Mainecoon, I hope you the same too hon. Feal better soon. K? D.

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Originally Posted by Dorriekeepson23

Hey, my new Canada friend. Another one. :) I hate this for you. You're too special to be feeling this way. Read what I wrote to Taffy. I don't know if it will help any, but I'm thinking of you, and I really hope this goes away, and fast. I love it when you're all funny and bubbly. But I understand we all have our days too. I'm here for you hon. Dorrie

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Hey Dorrie, my new friend. Thanks for the words of concern, I really appreciate them. Read your reply to taffy, I really love the analogy so here I go, served my time in the penalty box and I'm going back to the game!!!!

Plus....can't let Eman have all the fun in the van! He's busy rounding up more people to help with the interventions! Can't let him have all the fun!

Cheers!

Sorry you're dealing with this, unfortunately these relapses do occur for those of us suffering this disorder. I was anxiety free for 7 years, then in 2010, it happened again and has been on and off since. Anxiety is basically an STD, it never totally goes away, you will suffer flare ups from time to time. The good news is you can learn to recognize triggers, educate yourself on them.

In fact when I was in the hospital a couple years back, the nurse was happy at how educated I was of a panic attack so she didn't have to explain it. Take into consideration how powerful knowledge can be in fighting these things. But emotion is important too, just force yourself into a relaxing hobby, or take long walks to relieve tension, it does help to feel good even if it's just for a small amount of time in a day, it makes a difference. Remember, it's your fight or flight mode, so getting up and moving (exercising is what your body wants to do deep down). It wants to get physical, not be sedentary, that's why bad anxiety makes sleep so hard for some.

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Originally Posted by taffy

Hi everyone, I'm almost heartbroken to be writing this. I have been anxiety and panic free for well over four years now and had fully consigned this illness to my past. But unfortunately, last week following a bout of Flu, it came back and I ended up having a major panic attack followed by an ongoing battle with anxiety.

The mornings are far and away the worst and when everything seems at its bleakest. I am trying to be strong, to not start avoiding situations but it's so tough.

Anyway, thanks for letting me be part of the forum.

Taffy

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Hi, taffy. Glad you came by

The reason you feel so bad now is because you are fixated on the fact that you had a panic attack and you are fearing it will happen again

So you had a panic attack. Big deal. You have had them before and may in fact have them again

Look at them as like a cold. Just because it came on, it doesn't mean that you will feel anxious again and start worrying

You were sick so your body was vulnerable and your thoughts sent you where you are now

I like to look at myself as mostly anxiety free. That doesn't mean I don't get the adrenaline rushes that used to send me into a panic occassionally

I give it no reaction so I do not panic. Then I look at it as no big deal so I don't get that worry that leads to anxiety

If your panic attack last 15 minutes. End it in your mind when it physically ends

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Originally Posted by NixonRulz

Hi, taffy. Glad you came by

The reason you feel so bad now is because you are fixated on the fact that you had a panic attack and you are fearing it will happen again

So you had a panic attack. Big deal. You have had them before and may in fact have them again

Look at them as like a cold. Just because it came on, it doesn't mean that you will feel anxious again and start worrying

You were sick so your body was vulnerable and your thoughts sent you where you are now

I like to look at myself as mostly anxiety free. That doesn't mean I don't get the adrenaline rushes that used to send me into a panic occassionally

I give it no reaction so I do not panic. Then I look at it as no big deal so I don't get that worry that leads to anxiety

If your panic attack last 15 minutes. End it in your mind when it physically ends

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NixonRulz, I always enjoy reading what you post and your advice, because it makes sense and helps more than you realize. It's good to have someone here who can put things into words the way you do. It makes people see things in a (good) different light. Just wanted to say thanks. D.

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Originally Posted by Dorriekeepson23

NixonRulz, I always enjoy reading what you post and your advice, because it makes sense and helps more than you realize. It's good to have someone here who can put things into words the way you do. It makes people see things in a (good) different light. Just wanted to say thanks. D.

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Thank you, Dorrie

With the way a few things have played out this week, that just gave me the boost I needed

Hearing that helped more than you realize

Hi everyone and thank you so, so much for your kind words and support. It really does make a difference knowing that I'm not the only person out there who has been here before.

I had a bad, bad day yesterday and didn't sleep at all last night, so I'm exhausted and emotional today but this morning I managed to force myself to get dressed and came to work. I had a great chat with my boss who offered me a myriad of ways in which she could and would support me until I get back to my feet.

Anyway, again, thank you.

Taffy

Relapse for me too. Mornings are the worst. I wake up with anxiety and feel like crap. I have been trying to get over it since January. So I'm right with u. Devastated also

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Originally Posted by needtogetwell

Hey Dorrie, my new friend. Thanks for the words of concern, I really appreciate them. Read your reply to taffy, I really love the analogy so here I go, served my time in the penalty box and I'm going back to the game!!!!

Plus....can't let Eman have all the fun in the van! He's busy rounding up more people to help with the interventions! Can't let him have all the fun!

Cheers!

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A bit late on the reply. But I'm sooo proud of you and your attitude on this. Love it. I'm really nervous about...today. Geese, its almost 3:00 a.m. I couldn't sleep. Love ya woman. D

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Originally Posted by NixonRulz

Thank you, Dorrie

With the way a few things have played out this week, that just gave me the boost I needed

Hearing that helped more than you realize

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Nixon, OMG, I just read this. Rough week for me too. I have to admit, even though I swear on my life, I never ever fake my words, they are true and how I feel, that made me feel kind of special to hear you say that. Sometimes we don't know the power of another persons "True words". I don't have time to scam this site. Read up on everyone. One, I don't have time, and two, no desire whatsoever. lol. But occasionally I notice certain people's comments, be it funny or serious. I have tremendous respect for you because you know how to do both, which is the way I am, or try to be. I'm going to the new dr. today. My anxiety is creeping up Nixon. I am by far no smart butt b--ch. But I take care of my own when need be. but put me in front of a doctor and I lock up. Every suggestion people tell me goes out the window. I just freeze. I think I'm scared because of a past couple of bad experiences. Where they litiriley changed all of my meds around, stopped some, quit some, and it messed my head and body up bad. But I can't do that and go in there thinking like that. Ok, keep your thumbs up all day long for me. K? Ha Ha Ha. Just playing. Sorry about your week. I hope it got better. Always here...remember, I always tell everyone, I can BE a friend too. Later. D.

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Originally Posted by mom23

Relapse for me too. Mornings are the worst. I wake up with anxiety and feel like crap. I have been trying to get over it since January. So I'm right with u. Devastated also

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Hey mom23. Dorrie here. I just wanted to introduce myself to you, and let you know I sympathize and completely understand. A few people that responded had some real good advice though. Read Nixon's. Great. I'm here, if you need a friend. Take care hon. Dorrie

Hi there new here too and am experiencing the same thing as soon as I open my eyes the anxiety starts ways here if you need a chat x