Perpetual thoughts of death.

Printable View

08-26-2013, 05:16 PM
beachymg

Perpetual thoughts of death.

I seriously hate it when my mind just goes crazy and thinks of all the worst things. I think about death about other people and me. Like wondering thoughts of how my relatives would die, how I would die... and it's just the worst. Even when I'm at a party, the movies, in the car, etc, I just think of what could happen that could cause death. And it would go on. It's not just one thought and that's it. It'll just continue on, one thought about death after another. It's disturbing.

Watching that DVD, The Secret, doesn't help; because of how they talk about the Law of Attraction and I'm freaking out that I'm attracting death, because I just think about it all the time.

can anyone relate?
08-26-2013, 05:28 PM
autumnbee123

I think about this 24/7. Mainly myself dying. And now I feel like I'm literally dying. I've thought this for 11 months straight
08-26-2013, 05:39 PM
MissyTone

I've thought about it but strangly I'm not afraid of dying ....its Funny though during a panic attack I am afraid of the pain but not dying
08-26-2013, 05:58 PM
tailspin

I think about this a lot too. I am hyper aware of the fragile nature of existence and how people can literally die from one second to the next. Sometimes I wonder how anyone can live without worrying about that!! Life is so fragile and there are so many dangers.......I did talk to a therapist about this and her take on it was that I could turn my awareness of the fragility of existence into something positive by being determined to appreciate every moment that I'm alive. That makes sense, but it's hard to do!!! I do try and do that when my mortality fears get really, really bad. For example, I say to myself that right now, this second I am alive, and the people I love are alive right now, this second. I don't know what is going to happen in the next hour, but right now, I am alive. And so I try to just go moment to moment. There is definitely a lot to be said for trying to live in the moment, because the moment is all we have. Like I said, I know this is way easier said than done though!!
08-26-2013, 08:22 PM
Cobra

Existential crisis. The brain is trying and failing to process it's own demise. I think it's at the core of our anxiety. It knows it is going to die, but fights against it, so it turns into an endless loop of death fear and heightened panic awareness. I think the only solution is to accept and find some peace with it. Maybe you have faith in an afterlife. If so, death is merely a doorway to a new world. If you are an atheist, think of it as taking a very very long nap. We've got to process it and accept it, though, or this torture will never end. Our brains will just keep repeating if we don't, like a broken record.
08-26-2013, 08:23 PM
beachymg

Quote:

Originally Posted by autumnbee123

I think about this 24/7. Mainly myself dying. And now I feel like I'm literally dying. I've thought this for 11 months straight

Yea, I've been having these thoughts for quite a long time now also, but every time I think it, I have to reassure myself that I am a healthy young women with a good life and that death is part of life. Try and end your negative thoughts with positives :)
08-26-2013, 08:26 PM
beachymg

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissyTone

I've thought about it but strangly I'm not afraid of dying ....its Funny though during a panic attack I am afraid of the pain but not dying

The thing that I'm worried about dying are two things: 1, leaving my loved ones and especially my son and my boyfriend. Like not being there for them. I'd hate to leave them. And 2, like HOW I would die. It would be ideal to go in my sleep. But I hate that I even have that preference... haha. I'm the same about panic attacks. I'm more worried about the pain getting worst.
08-26-2013, 08:30 PM
beachymg

Quote:

Originally Posted by tailspin

I think about this a lot too. I am hyper aware of the fragile nature of existence and how people can literally die from one second to the next. Sometimes I wonder how anyone can live without worrying about that!! Life is so fragile and there are so many dangers.......I did talk to a therapist about this and her take on it was that I could turn my awareness of the fragility of existence into something positive by being determined to appreciate every moment that I'm alive. That makes sense, but it's hard to do!!! I do try and do that when my mortality fears get really, really bad. For example, I say to myself that right now, this second I am alive, and the people I love are alive right now, this second. I don't know what is going to happen in the next hour, but right now, I am alive. And so I try to just go moment to moment. There is definitely a lot to be said for trying to live in the moment, because the moment is all we have. Like I said, I know this is way easier said than done though!!

I agree! I told my counselor that it's much easier for my thoughts to think negatively than positively. Then she tells me to just train my mind. That's what I've been doing. But I still go that way. I'm my worst enemy.
08-26-2013, 08:34 PM
beachymg

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cobra

Existential crisis. The brain is trying and failing to process it's own demise. I think it's at the core of our anxiety. It knows it is going to die, but fights against it, so it turns into an endless loop of death fear and heightened panic awareness. I think the only solution is to accept and find some peace with it. Maybe you have faith in an afterlife. If so, death is merely a doorway to a new world. If you are an atheist, think of it as taking a very very long nap. We've got to process it and accept it, though, or this torture will never end. Our brains will just keep repeating if we don't, like a broken record.

Yea, I know. It'll take time. I'm a 7th day adventist. But, I haven't been... would I say practicing? or living as an adventist. They don't believe in after life. They believe in the second coming. Either way, I'm sad about leaving loved ones. :(
08-26-2013, 08:50 PM
autumnbee123

I'm not healthy at all though. At least I don't feel like it. At all. I feel like I'm wasting away
08-26-2013, 11:07 PM
beachymg

Quote:

Originally Posted by autumnbee123

I'm not healthy at all though. At least I don't feel like it. At all. I feel like I'm wasting away

did the dr's say your're ok?
08-27-2013, 03:51 AM
autumnbee123

I am so far. But I'm getting my MRI in a few days to be completely sure
08-27-2013, 03:19 PM
JustAnotherAttack

I don't worry about dying so much from other causes than myself. My anxiety is horrible and I always feel so tired from it. I fight it constantly and I feel so exausted.
Often times I think that I will not allow myself to survive if I have to continue feeling this way for the rest of my life.
Sometimes its too much for me to think about the future because I don't see a future without panic attacks. :(
So yes death is on my mind, but only as a way out if all else fails.
I'd never do it...I dont have the courage, but knowing that there is a way out often is enough to push panic attacks away.
08-29-2013, 08:08 PM
beachymg

Quote:

Originally Posted by autumnbee123

I am so far. But I'm getting my MRI in a few days to be completely sure

Well if you MRI comes back with good news, then you can start buy brushing off all the thoughts that you're ill, because there's proof there you're fine.
08-29-2013, 08:10 PM
beachymg

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustAnotherAttack

I don't worry about dying so much from other causes than myself. My anxiety is horrible and I always feel so tired from it. I fight it constantly and I feel so exausted.
Often times I think that I will not allow myself to survive if I have to continue feeling this way for the rest of my life.
Sometimes its too much for me to think about the future because I don't see a future without panic attacks. :(
So yes death is on my mind, but only as a way out if all else fails.
I'd never do it...I dont have the courage, but knowing that there is a way out often is enough to push panic attacks away.

Yea, I think like that sometimes. You have to fight not to though. It's not healthy. They say that you should put the same energy you put in your negative thoughts to your positive. I have to tell myself that thinking like this is not going to help. People get through anxiety. You just have to help yourself.
08-29-2013, 10:52 PM
Lin

I am having thoughts of dying all the time and finding it really hard to stop them. Every day I plan how I am going to get out.
I have already taken 2 overdoses but just did not take enough - absolutely rubbish at that let alone anything else!
Even though my psychiatric nurse, psychiatrist, gynaecologist and Dr are all seeing me regularly and trying to help and giving me hope for the future, when I am on my own I just can't think of any hope and just want out and then I start to plan how going to.
I am a real pest for our crisis team because I am on the phone all the time, but sometimes they can stop me being stupid, but when I really want to do it I don't ring or tell anyone in the hope that I am just going to go to sleep and have peace at last.
I wish I could see the positive things people are doing for me and stop being negative but my head has completely exploded lately and it is impossible at the moment to be rational.
08-30-2013, 04:02 AM
itsloulou

Same here. It's on my mind all the time. And I'm scared. I don't wanna live like this. I'm only 17 years old, I need to enjoy life... Not constantly worrying. Yesterday I wanted to write down my funeral wishes... Oh that frustrated me so much.. But I feel like I can die any minute.

Everything around me makes me think about dying.. It is hopeless. When I hear my mom say she's nauseous I almost start panicing myself. Why? Because it's that terrific for me to be nauseous, because it feels like the end of the world for me... And I feel like my mom is going to die when she says that... ?? It's so weird.

Everytime someone talks about someone who died, or a disease or just a physical complaint, I freak out almost.
08-30-2013, 04:05 AM
itsloulou

Quote:

Originally Posted by beachymg

Well if you MRI comes back with good news, then you can start buy brushing off all the thoughts that you're ill, because there's proof there you're fine.

Ugh I wish I could get a MRI, but I live in the Netherlands.. And the healthservices are very different here. Everyone has it. But you can only get a MRI when the doctor referres you.. And they won't do that because I they already told me it's because of stress and worrying, just my body working things out. Well bullshit if you aks me.. I just want prove I'm fine. That's one less worry.. And my health concernes are the main thing...