Me and My Fears: Anyone Similar?

Hello, my name is Steven. I am an 18 year-old male. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. For the last few months I have been trying many different medicines to 'calm my nerves' (lexapro, prozac, effexor. I am currently on Buspar and starting Paxil). I have also been experiencing something that I think may be depersonalization/derealization (constant feelings of 'unreality' and reality just feels plan fake all the time. Like its an illusion begining slipping away. ), which has been terrifying me. I often question existence which has led me to the strangest fear of not existing or being stuck in nothingness. Its difficult to explain. I worry and fear that reality will "slip away" and i'll be alone in "nothingness". Or my memory will fail and I won't be able to remember one moment to the next. Another fear of mine is no one else is going through what I am, like theres some strange glitch in my brain and I won't be able to effectivly communicate my problems. I worry I'm losing my mind. Sorry if I'm being really dramatic, I'm currently having an anxiety attack and im scared sh*tless. Anyways, I was just wondering if theirs anyone else experiencing similar problems.

Hi Steven, I'm Laura 24 yr old. Im currently totally suffering from panic so I know how you feel! Don't worry, you are not alone. That feeling is really common, but it's not permanent. I find its worse the times when I am most aware I have anxiety I have a lot of depersonalization. I promise it won't last forever, its just an extreme reaction your mind has to your surroundings. Sometimes you just need to take 10 minutes and just breathe and try to calm down and focus on something completely random. It will pass, and you aren't going crazy! Just remember it's not permanent and will go away soon.

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Originally Posted by lmgibson87

Hi Steven, I'm Laura 24 yr old. Im currently totally suffering from panic so I know how you feel! Don't worry, you are not alone. That feeling is really common, but it's not permanent. I find its worse the times when I am most aware I have anxiety I have a lot of depersonalization. I promise it won't last forever, its just an extreme reaction your mind has to your surroundings. Sometimes you just need to take 10 minutes and just breathe and try to calm down and focus on something completely random. It will pass, and you aren't going crazy! Just remember it's not permanent and will go away soon.

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Hello Laura, thank you for your reply! I have been suffering from what I assume is depersonalization 24/7 for about 5 months. Today has been a terrible day. I have had extreme anxiety constantly and 2 panic attacks. I don't know what it is. May I ask, is your depersonalization constant and what is the experience like to you?

I have also experienced these feelings of detachment from reality! I have had panic stacks since I was 12, but they were very sparse up until about a year ago. I have now developed agoraphobia. I just recently realized that the detachment reality feeling is a symptom of agoraphobia.

No it isn't constant , and if you can figure out some things that work for you in dealing with it, it doesn't have to be ! I know I have a lot of triggers that make it happen so when my anxiety is bad I try to avoid those situations. You just have to remember when you start feeling like that you are still in control and its going to pass. I waitress on the weekends and sometimes when I start to get that feeling I just step outside for a few minutes and try to tell myself that even though I feel weird it's not going to last forever and I can get through it. Have you ever seen a therapist ?

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Originally Posted by asdf3312

I have also experienced these feelings of detachment from reality! I have had panic stacks since I was 12, but they were very sparse up until about a year ago. I have now developed agoraphobia. I just recently realized that the detachment reality feeling is a symptom of agoraphobia.

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I'm sorry to hear about that. My grandmother suffers from agoraphobia. At least you understand where the feelings are coming from now. Understanding the cause can help. As for me I have been suffering from the worst anxiety. I had to check myself out of school becuase I got so upset and overwhelmed. If feel like I am going pass out and die at any moment. Its like death, doom, and despair are following me around. Hopefully when I start Paxil it will help.

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Originally Posted by lmgibson87

No it isn't constant , and if you can figure out some things that work for you in dealing with it, it doesn't have to be ! I know I have a lot of triggers that make it happen so when my anxiety is bad I try to avoid those situations. You just have to remember when you start feeling like that you are still in control and its going to pass. I waitress on the weekends and sometimes when I start to get that feeling I just step outside for a few minutes and try to tell myself that even though I feel weird it's not going to last forever and I can get through it. Have you ever seen a therapist ?

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Thanks for the reply! For me the derealization is constant. My doctor thinks depression is the cause of these feelings. I've seen a psychiatrist, but not a therapist. I would like to try cognitive behavorial therapy.

Hi Steven,

I can definitely relate to you. You are not alone, in the slightest. I sometimes have the same thoughts you do with existence. I think the more you focus on it, the more it will take over your mind. But rest assured that like Laura said, it will not last forever. These are just random thoughts that come into our mind. I would say the best thing to do is don't push the thoughts away. I always live by "the more you resist, the more it persists." The more you are like "stop thinking like this! Think of something else!" you won't be able to think of anything else BUT negative and almost disturbing thoughts. It also works with anxiety. Almost feed into your anxiety. Recognize the symptoms and go over each and every one in your head. "I'm dizzy...because I'm anxious. My heart is racing. I'm shaking. I feel like I can't breathe. Ok, it's just anxiety." Always.....ALWAYS keep in your mind that there is no possible way for you to stay in an anxious state all of the time. Your body will come down, it has to, as that is how the body works. This is one of the main factors that I always think of. Anxiety is a short-term reaction and is harmless. HARMLESS. It might not feel like it in the midst of an attack, but it's the truth.

I've self-taught myself CBT. I've considered seeing therapists, but after speaking with a couple over the phone, I've realized that they are telling me things I already know. I know what needs to be done with CBT and I've done a few things that have helped. If you ever need help and don't want to see a therapist, I could always give you my contact info. I think it's better to talk to someone who goes through it, not someone who studied it in school and thinks they know what's best. I hope this info helped some! I also posted a link to my blog in this forum. Feel free to check it out!

[QUOTE=panicked24_7;44852]Hi Steven,

I can definitely relate to you. You are not alone, in the slightest. I sometimes have the same thoughts you do with existence. I think the more you focus on it, the more it will take over your mind. But rest assured that like Laura said, it will not last forever. These are just random thoughts that come into our mind. I would say the best thing to do is don't push the thoughts away. I always live by "the more you resist, the more it persists." The more you are like...[\QUOTE]

Thanks for the reply! It's very comforting to know that one isnt alone in one's suffering. Thanks for the advice, i've always tried the think-of-something-else method, so maybe doing what you suggested might help. Though I'm still experiencing more anxiety than ussual, I've calmed down, so its bearable (misspell? :P). Anyways, thanks again and I agree that its more helpful to speak with someone who knows what your going through first hand. I'll definitly be checking out your blog.

Introvertdivi5i0n I feel completely the same as you.

I've heard of a few people who question our existence in anxiety. I also have and i think thats where the depersonalisation/derealisation comes from. Try not to worry. I know its easier said than done unfortunately. And for alot of people it is constant, unless you are able to take your mind off it.

Does any of you feel a weird memory sensation, as in when you used to think of exciting things you could rmember and imagine it clearly but now it's like there's a gap and like your emotions or detached from you?

Dear jesus yes. I don't have DP/DR anymore, only when I have panic attacks, but I have all of those same thoughts as you. Well, the DP/DR certainly triggered the thoughts. I originally had a fear of going schizo (which I still do) because I was afraid of losing touch with reality. Now I don't even know what is real and what isn't. Like everything is made up in my head. I even wonder if I exist.
There are so many arguments against solipsism that it is hard to still believe. I actually don't know many of the arguments, but I know they are there, and I've used my own reasoning to know that it isn't a refutable philosophy.I'm gonna try to talk to my psychiatrist about this soon, and this time I want to try some CBT. Because I am not going to live my life like this. To me, it seems like the worst anxiety to have. It's an ultimate. It's anxiety over if we are or aren't. How is that going to progress? What is the next step in this anxiety? I refuse to find out. Because I know we're real. I'm real. There is too much in the world to fathom and know, there is no way it's an illusion.
It's the anxiety. Because I know you and me and every other person in the world has wondered "am I real? Is everything just a dream?" The difference between us and them is that there is an obsession to this question. The anxiety and its symptoms have this control over the thought and don't let our brain let it go, anxiety makes that thought a reality.

Ha, reality.

CBT is excellent, for anyone on this thread who hasn't explored it, I recommend it highly. All of the current CBT uses the technique of rewiring your brain - and it's not some new-age psychobabble - it's real. Neuroscience has proved it's possible by studying the brain activity of Buddhist meditators. I can recommend The Heal Your Anxiety Workbook by John Arden. I don't know if it's the best because I haven't read a lot of CBT books, but it's very good.

Please please read the book - at last a life by Paul David or google his website. Or go to www.panicend.com it really has helped me. it explains why we feel these sensations and it really helps you start to overcome these feelings. One thing I would tell you is to go towards your feelings. As crazy as it sounds, fighting it makes everything worse. You have to feel and embrace your feelings, and soon it will take the fear out of the picture which is the main cause of everything.

It's definitely true that you shouldn't fight it as it makes it worse. It's easier said than done though, as if we have a problem we are wired to try and work it out. I'm working through depersonalisation at the moment, just taking things as they come and not dwelling on them.

hey Steven , thought this mite help you as i can tell you you are not alone, in the slightest.
well i have lived with dp/dr depression and severe anxiety for about 20years+ unknown , only got diagnosed a year ago, have broken the cycle 3 times, now and maybe have lived a normal life of total life about 4, months, but without the symptoms it becomes a little to overwhelming and i spiral down again,

i know no one who does not suffer dp/dr really knows what it's like to go through a day with anxiety and all the rest. My friend. For me im frozen pretty much 24/7 get's to the point where i can't make any decisions or begin to actually build a life from this point. disconnected from reality i know truly what this is how do i know...

well i thought it was lonely all these years that was the problem so i joined a pickup course for talking meeting actracting women, and well during the first night i actually broke the anxiety with massive force- due to having a exceptional motivating coach and being pushed through fears and intense forced focus i changed my bio chemistry

now the thing is i have superior confidence without anxiety actually too much, from noticing the lights to the smell of the atmosphere noticing textures peoples smiles hair and being in the moment and really being in touch with your surroundings. and i can tell you it is a different world with the cloud of anxiety depression dp dr

for me it's one of the most crippling side affect , being lost with reality yes i can totally understand, almost seems like every action every move is forced and you have to place every word in your head before it comes out, seems like you have to act your way through life, and then because you have emotional numbness people around you think your ok , but it's really because you don't have the ability to feel ,

for me i can't concentrate or focuss at all sadly , so thought i would let you know im riding shotgun with you
for my story it's filled with alot of sorrow for thinking all these year's it was normal to live with depression and anxiety that's because i had dp/dr and i could not focuss enough to actually think theres a problem , i just kept thinking the day will come, it's been apart of me id say since age around 5 , and only realized last year,